glad the invalids are healing well Lav,
hiya tt..how are you .
starty hows you feeling today
enjoying the holiday ppqp?
hiya det..you are doing good mate ..well done to you
big hello to all Ive missed.......
We're having a Brexit themed Christmas dinner this year, no Brussels
Just looking at the nativity scene at my local Church and I can't help thinking how it reminds me of the Jeremy Kyle show, a mother, a baby, loads of hangers on and some bloke who isn't the father.
Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day. I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office.
During my wife's labour, the nurse came up to us and said, "How about Epidural Anaesthesia?"
I said, "Thanks, but we've already picked a name."
I just read "100 things to do before you die" and I was quite surprised to see that 'shout for help' wasn't in there!
A young New York lass was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Australia , the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food every day and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says 'and thats all is it?'
Her conscience then got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry"
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