January Jewel

[Lavande]

Good evening friends!

The day did not go as planned but turned out just fine anyway. I woke up too late to get myself to Curves & do all the other stuff I was going to do, oh well. It was darker than usual this morning because it was raining. Rain forecasted all day tomorrow as well. We did get Christmas packed up & put away today (YB helped)!!

Star, our grown kids have all they need to be complete grownups, just need little reminders from time to time.
My daughter is turning 40 this month - for real, ha ha!!! I still think of her as a kid but I also know she is fully capable
I'm sure your son will step into adulthood, just keep issuing friendly reminders.

Dill, glad you are OK & I hope things continue to settle down for you & your family. We are here if you need us.

Pauly, did you find anything good under the couch? LOL
I am getting really lazy about moving furniture anymore.

Liz, my kids were born in January & November, made for interesting holidays those years. It was kind of nice having winter babies

Cyn, I am sure you are anxious to get back home. Wishing you safe travels!

Have a peaceful night everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Good morning...

Back to work today, I am up super early, feeling a little anxious, just the change in my routine again. My time off was so good, holidays, worked on getting things organized. I love having he decorations put away, the house looks so clean and fresh, just like it does every year at this time.

Lav, I am lucky, my husband helps me every year put stuff away, it is quite a job and not as much fun as decorating for the holidays. Sounds like you two are doing well, good to hear it. Hope he is healed from his surgery. My son came over yesterday and it was all good. No whining/complaining, just visited. You are right, I will keep giving him friendly reminders that he is an adult and fully capable of managing his life. Drinking a little coffee right now, it will be a full day.

Cyn, it is lighter just a little bit every day and there is so much hope in that fact. Safe travels and I understand how wonderful it is to be home and back in your routine.

Pauly, I cannot believe the holidays are over either, it went so quickly and was so wonderful. Now comes the hardest part of the year for me. Dark and cold, snow, and spring several months off. I plan to work hard, eat lightly and exercise as much as I can. Oh, and stay away from the news as much as possible. I have a book club I joined, want to play piano and read good books. What do you do to get through this time of year?

Lizann, how sweet to decorate for your kids birthdays. It is a good way to get through January. Not sure how the weather is where you live.

Shout out to Dill.

Have a great AF Tuesday.

[dill]

Hello AF friends,

Star, the one complaint I have about the Winter Solstice book is that it makes drinking so appealing. On the one hand, one of the main characters meets her fate as a result of being alcoholic and getting in a car crash. Then on the other hand the author writes about her characters "needing a restorative drink", or some "dutch courage". For me there is just too much emphasis in the novel about drinking as normal and even healthy. Did you find that disturbing? I suppose if I were a 'normal' drinker it wouldn't have bothered me a bit. But, as we all know, I am not! LOL

Liz and Pauly, put me in the column of people who are happy to have the Christmas decorations down and put away! I like to put them up and when it's all over, I like to take them back down and get back to normal. It's sweet that you both continue to honor your children's birthdays the way you do. It never occurred to me to do that.

Cyn, thank you for reminding that the light is now getting stronger every day. It's a simple thought and gives me hope!

Lav, good for you getting Christmas stuff all put away. Nice that YB helped! I never have help putting the stuff away. Altho Mr. D does help carry out the tree and sweep up the needles. But this year, we had no tree to carry out. Our holiday hibiscus is still in place altho I did take the lights off. We had to roll it outside to give it a spray for white fly. The poor thing is stressed from being indoors. I hope it makes it to spring!

Going to be busy today trying to get the kids enrolled in the local school.

Have a good AF Tuesday everyone!

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, Lav,under the couch wasn't too bad Lou's cars,bouncy balls,pens and some trash and dust of course, cannot escape dust in the desert, Star,I guess I just get through this time of year by just doing the same stuff I always do,I think it helps not having snow and ice,all the kids' birthdays are coming up, even Louie's so that's something to look forward to, I just remembered that last year we took Brady to Golden Corral, some buffet place that was new here,it was gross! It only makes me laugh cuz he kept going on about how horrible it was and he was disappointed that was his birthday dinner, Dill,I HATE when books keep on with the drink after drink b.s! I tried to go back and read Mary Carr? She wrote "Lit" anyway its supposed to be about her recovery in the end but I couldn't make it that far cuz of the drinking stories leading up to the recovery,it seemed triggery or something, maybe just annoying, Cyn,I'll be glad when your routine gets back to normal,Liz,hope your day back at work is nice wishes for a great AF Tuesday for us all

[Lizann]

Good evening. Managed to keep myself busy at work even though it was a little slow. Time to catch up on things we haven't gotten to in awhile. So nice not to be stressed and running around. I did only get just over 7000 steps. Tomorrow is another day.

Star I live in the northeast and today the weather was rainy, cold and windy. Not a bad winter thus far.

Lav I agree winter babies are nice! My son was born in sept and his first winter lasted what seemed an eternity! With the girls I didn't have to go through the whole winter as part of the season was already behind me when they were born.

Wishing you all a wonderful AF evening

[Lavande]

Last but not least, as usual, ha ha!

Yes it did rain all day as promised but we are supposed to have a nice day tomorrow. Then I hear some real winter stuff is moving in, oh boy.

Star, hope you had a good day at work. I know it's hard going back after a break.
Glad you had a decent 'adult' visit with your son!

Dill, I sure wish all this transition is not too hard on you & Mr D.
I keep thinking how lucky the kids are to have such loving, caring grandparents :hug:
Always remember we are here for you!

Pauly, moving furniture around here always means exposing massive amounts of dog hair & cookie crumbs, ha ha!!
I get bored with cleaning up the messes I can see so I don't want to go looking for any Hope your day was good.

Liz, I have to laugh every time my Fitbit buzzes me reminding me that I still need ____ steps for the hour. I think I need to tell it that I am retired now so I don't have to do a million steps/day!!!
I'm hearing rumors about a touch of snow Friday morning then more over the weekend. Are you hearing that too?

Cyn, hope you are home safe & sound by now. I'm sure your fur friends will be happy to see you!

Have a peaceful night everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Good morning...

Well, bad news over here, my son was fired yesterday for making too many mistakes. He is devastated, did not see it coming, and that in itself is disturbing. But not surprising. He does not know himself and picked a field with lots of detailed paperwork, something he is not good at. So, lots of big questions, he has bills to pay and will file for unemployment and hope he gets it. In the meantime, we had him stay here as we were concerned for his state of mind. Yes, that is how bad it is. I am up at 3:30 am, lucky I slept that long, so here I am sharing this with you. Drinking did not occur to me, that would make this even more of a nightmare, and for that I am so grateful. Being AF I will be able to remain calm, go to work, and make good decisions. My daughter has been very good so far, she feels that he has to figure out his strengths and work at a job that is a good fit, so she already bought him a book to help him figure it out. I am just tired of the continuing problems, what a start to 2017 right?

Dill, they do drink alot in all of her books, I think it is the culture. I thought about it too, and noticed in another book that it is acceptable to have two drinks, "the other half." They also describe food, yet no one seems to overindulge to obesity, so I guess they control the food intake too. The wife's sin was was in drinking too much to the point of death. What I like about the book is the love story between the two main characters and the other stories about Lucy, Carrie and the other guy, I can't think of his name. How they all have to recreate themselves, at all stages of life, for all kinds of reasons. That part is realistic. Our lives present challenges and we have choices in how we move forward. That is me right now, and from what you have shared, you have significant challenges too. Due to others choices, not ours, and we have so little control, only in how we choose to deal with our responses. Let's cherish ourselves and take special care. I am praying for you and ask the same. Thanks.

Lav, actually going back to work was good, and today I am looking forward to getting out of the house. I am trying to focus on gratitude right now, but still feel in shock, and know that feeling just takes time to go away. I was thinking there are so many things that can happen in a person's life, we all have our things to deal with. Geez. However, being AF is the only choice for me. If I drank, I would lose it totally. And be no help to anyone.

Pauly, when your kids suffer, you suffer, I know you get it too. Sorry to dump on everybody like this, but it is really early and I am so grateful you all are here.

Hello to Cyn and Lizann. Have a good one.

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, Star,dump away! You all listen to my problems with Michelle and distress over the other kids,it helps to get it out! I remember that it took him awhile to get that job,hmm,I was gonna type there's a positive to everything and things work out the way they're supposed to but I know how annoying that sounds when we're going through stuff,right now I can only be grateful that everyone is healthy, alive,not in jail,etc,none of the other s$&t really matters in the end anyways, a neighbor gave us a calendar with beautiful quotes on it this month says"in the middle of winter,I found in myself an eternal summer" or something like that,I put it in the downstairs bathroom and read it,dunno why I always put a calendar in the bathroom kinda weird haha,Dill,how's your son doing? Lav,it still surprises me that you're not a clean freak,I've just always pictured you as one Cyn,are you over the bluesy feeling of last month? Mines comes and goes still,a lot of the time I swear I purposely think myself into a funk why? Who would do that? I've done that with AL thoughts before too,"oh gee I haven't thought of beer in awhile wonder why" and of course start thinking of it non stop,Meh,gotta do my self hypnosis again, been slacking off, Liz,how's everything with you? Off to find food,wishing everyone a calm AF Wednesday

[dill]

Oh dear Star! Your son must be devastated and you as well. I know it is small comfort, but many people experience failure and firings before they finally find their niche. I hope your daughter's book will be a help to him in evaluating himself more realistically. :hug: Yes, the only control we have sometimes is in how we react. Loved ones can cause so much drama and chaos and it isn't fair. I am doing the best I can here but sometimes I just feel so down-hearted. But we do what we must. I thank you for your prayers and you will certainly have mine.

Pauly, my son is doing what he can to get into treatment, but for people without private insurance or without money, the only option is state programs. The wait lists are long. He asks what to expect in terms of wait time but basically gets told nothing. I just hope he gets in quickly. Thanks for asking. I hear you on the alcohol thoughts. I will be doing just fine and then I will see a particular glass that I often used to drink and it will trigger cravings like mad! Funny thing is, I can see that glass many times without noticing it, but if a light hits it a certain way, or depending on the time of day, boom!

Lav, This transition has been very hard on me. I am not taking this on cheerfully. I do my best to keep a positive attitude, but it is a struggle. I think you can imagine. Having your grandkids for a visit is great, knowing they will be heading home in a day or so. But if you had no end point in sight? I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but for me, this is devastating. Especially with the worry in top for my son and his struggle. I am having quite a hard time coping. But I truly do appreciate your support and care.

Liz and Cyn, greetings!

Thank you all for your care and support as I continue to make my adjustments in my world. Keep the prayers coming, if you will.

Have a peaceful and AF Humpday.

[Lizann]

Star, so sorry to hear about your son! That is devastating. My BIL was laid off last February, I so know what you're dealing with. Does he have a family to support? I hope he finds something else quickly! Try not to worry too much. It really doesn't change the situation. Picture made sure I was supportive and encouraging to my sister when she came crying to me about the stresses of BIL job loss. It wasn't always easy. Ultimately he got another job but it did take awhile.

Dill I'm not sure what situation your referring when you say the transition has not been easy. Are you watching your grandkids? I hope your son gets the help he needs and quickly. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Lav, yes I did hear the snow rumors for Friday. Have I mentioned how much I dislike snow? Of course Friday I have to be at work. Hospitals don't have snow days!

Pauly, that is weird a calendar in the bathroom! I guess you have to look at it when you're in there. That's helpful in remembering birthdays and appointments. Now that I think about it hubby's aunt has one in her bathroom too.

[Lavande]

Good evening friends,

Sounds like we need a giant group hug here :hug:
Let's take lots of deep breaths & know that everything is going to be OK :hug:

Star, I am sorry about your son, he has had some difficulties in the job department, for sure. Perhaps he can look into retraining for something more suitable for him. Massive amounts of paperwork in some jobs can be a real buzz killer. Maybe a visit with a job counselor would be helpful? I think the best thing we can do for our adult kids is to remain calm & hope they follow by example. Keep taking good care of yourself so you can show him how it's done.

Pauly, no I am not a clean freak but I do have an objection to clutter. If people would just put stuff AWAY when they are done with it life would be better, ha ha! The island in my kitchen attracts all of YB's stuff - papers, tools, numerous sets of car keys, etc. Leaves me little to no room to work & I get cranky.

Dill, I don't know how I would handle the possibility of having grandkids here for an extended period of time. I surely would be praying for help & guidance. I feel certain that whatever you do will be just fine. Do the kids understand what's going on? That must be difficult for them to process. Maybe some counseling for them at some point would be helpful. I will always keep you in my thoughts & prayers. You keep taking care of yourself too.

Liz, I was always out on the snowy roads in the mornings before the plows, ugh. I was also coming home from work one night in a snowstorm & got hit by an out of control driver. I was sitting at a red light less than a mile from home & the guy pushed me clear thru the intersection, totaled my car. I hope you don't have to deal with anything like that on Friday - be careful!

Cyn, hope to hear from you. We had nice sunlight off & on all day today

Have a peaceful night everyone.
Lav

[paulywogg]

Lav,what is it about the kitchen island that collects everyone's clutter?!? My hugest pet peeve but it seems to collect stuff daily hope everyone is doing OK tonight, deep,calming breaths and prayers

[treegirl]

Hi all,
Sorry to miss posting yesterday, it was a long one... 11 hours of travel, fell into bed just as soon as we hit the NYC apartment. Then up and on an early train upcountry to meet with a client in a bit of a crisis. I finally walked in the door of the house at 4 pm, and had an hour's nap with the dogs immediately. Home! Nothing like it.

Sending special hugs to Dill and Star. Dill, I can't imagine the confusion and stress this is creating in your life, I'm so sorry. You always have support, love and light here, I hope you can feel it. Star, so sorry about your son's job. I'm sending good energy your way as you cope with this. Good luck.

Well, the tree is still up, lit and decorated... it was such a strange sight when I walked in, but it was sort of welcoming too. I'd almost forgotten that we left the day after Christmas. It seems like we've been gone 3 months! It was a kind of beautiful but very strange purgatory where we were, too hard too explain. Just super-glad to be home and getting back to work.

Lav, that's a terrible story about the winter driving! Liz, good luck and be careful. People don't realize that nurses risk their own lives daily to get tot their jobs where they take care of everyone else! Pauly, the hypnosis sounds like a good thing to keep up with. My SIL went to a hypnosis doc to quit smoking, and it worked! Praise be! Good luck, and great job being self-aware.

Wishing all a great night and a Strong Thursday where we all embrace whatever Light we can muster. One step at a time...

[Snoopy56]

Good morning...

Thanks for all your support, it felt good to get it out, I told my one good friend at work and she shared that her son and ex=husband had been fired in the past and found other jobs, it just took time. He is still at our house, so devastated, it is hard for him to rebound, and that makes it hard on us. But, good that he is getting what he needs, he filed for unemployment yesterday, so will find out in a week or two about that. In the meantime, we have to work, and that is good for us. So, onward we go.

Dill, having your grandkids live with you would be tough. This is not how you pictured your retirement. I love my kids and grandkids, but need my privacy. The decision here is to either have my son and I resign his lease or him to move in. I think I will encourage him to continue living on his own even if I have to pay his bills again. It is worth it for the peace. He is just not resourceful. My daughter never had stuff like this, always took care of herself, with the occasional need. He is just paralyzed, not acting very grown up. I am blessed to be able to be here for him, but it is very hard.

Pauly, thanks for the support, it just never ends does it.

Lav, I have thought of a career counselor too, but it is still early days and I am working full time so don't have alot of time to find one. It seems weird I have to do everything, but if I don't nothing will happen. So, let's just hope he gets unemployment. Thanks for the hugs and support. I think the main thing is I have to remain calm, not get too overinvolved, or it just gets bigger and bigger, helping no one.

Cyn, so glad you are home. Traveling is fun, but exhausting. Getting things settled will be wonderful, so nice to get home after being away. I would like the tree up for while if I was gone, the lights are so nourishing when it is cold and dark.

Hey Lizann, be careful in the snow. We have snow today and I will just leave a little early and drive slowly, that is all I can do.

Being firm in staying AF is really helping me in all ways, I was able to sleep last night and feel grateful for that. Have a great AF Thursday.

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, don't really have much to say I guess,just wishing everyone a nice AF Thursday