Det now is the time to get your shit together mate..you dont give up on 19 years jist like that ..unless you want to and it sounds pretty much like you dont...I defo aint the worlds best counsellor,but methinks you need to sit down n find out why hows and wherefores about all of this...dont walk away..this aint the time for walking away or pissing it up the wall...its time to try and put things in order.this is where you need to stand up and be counted friend ..not the booze,no time to hide in that bottle buddy.be open ,honest with the lady,and see what you can do to save your marriage..Leave the booze..prove that you can..yep thats easy to say I know..but its probably the one thing that you could do to come up trumps..wrong choice of word I know but ...stay cool .stay calm ..and stay sober...I know this post sounds a bit "unsentimental?" but you have gotta give it a go mate..
If you want to pm me please do...I honestly dont want to know your business ,but if I can help in any way just pm me..
keep strong,have faith.
:hug:
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