morn all...how is we all today then?rarin to go ...good for you ..then lets do it ..storm dora was a bit of a no go ..more like storm dory ,but hey..orf out detecting...Lincoln again...so have a great day yall ..missin yallready...........
A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen.
The first one is called in, and asked, ‘What is two plus two?’
She answers, ‘Four,’ and is asked to leave.
The second finalist is called in, and asked the same question, ‘What is two plus two?’
He also answers, ‘Four,’ and is also asked to leave.
The third and final applicant is called in, and yet again asked, ‘What is two plus two?’
He answers, ‘What do you want it to be?’
He got the job.
Peter invites his mum for tea and notices his flat mate Joe is slightly camp. Although she suspects Peter is gay, he denies that anything is going on and says they are only flat mates.
A week later Joe says to Peter : "Ever since your mum came to tea I can't find the frying pan.
Peter e- mails his mum and says, Dear Mum, I am not saying that you DID take the frying pan and I am not saying you DID NOT take the frying pan. But it has been missing ever since you came for tea, love Peter.
His mum replies, Dear son, I am not saying you DO sleep with Joe and im not saying you DO NOT sleep with Joe, but if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the frying pan by now.. love Mumm..
Donald Trump met the Queen
He turns round and says: ‘As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom’ to which the Queen replies, ‘I'm sorry Mr T, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King.’
Trump thought a while and then said: ‘How about a Principality then?’, to which the Queen replied ‘Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr T.’
Trump thought long and hard and came up with ‘How about an Empire then?’
The Queen, getting a little fed up by now, replied ‘Sorry again, Mr T, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor.’
Before he could utter another word, The Queen said: ‘I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country.’
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her”Darling, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's going to see us at this hour?"
Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, and they’re all sleeping!"
Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
Her: "No, no. I just can't"
Him: "I beg you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..
A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel.
When they are relaxing afterwords, he asks, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’
She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.
‘You might be,’ she says. ‘Your face looks familiar.’
A Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late.
The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.
The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares and lit them, and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.
The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, ‘Just take me to jail... Hell, ain't no way I'm gonna pass that test.
A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen.
The first one is called in, and asked, ‘What is two plus two?’
She answers, ‘Four,’ and is asked to leave.
The second finalist is called in, and asked the same question, ‘What is two plus two?’
He also answers, ‘Four,’ and is also asked to leave.
The third and final applicant is called in, and yet again asked, ‘What is two plus two?’
He answers, ‘What do you want it to be?’
He got the job.
Peter invites his mum for tea and notices his flat mate Joe is slightly camp. Although she suspects Peter is gay, he denies that anything is going on and says they are only flat mates.
A week later Joe says to Peter : "Ever since your mum came to tea I can't find the frying pan.
Peter e- mails his mum and says, Dear Mum, I am not saying that you DID take the frying pan and I am not saying you DID NOT take the frying pan. But it has been missing ever since you came for tea, love Peter.
His mum replies, Dear son, I am not saying you DO sleep with Joe and im not saying you DO NOT sleep with Joe, but if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the frying pan by now.. love Mumm..
Donald Trump met the Queen
He turns round and says: ‘As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom’ to which the Queen replies, ‘I'm sorry Mr T, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King.’
Trump thought a while and then said: ‘How about a Principality then?’, to which the Queen replied ‘Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr T.’
Trump thought long and hard and came up with ‘How about an Empire then?’
The Queen, getting a little fed up by now, replied ‘Sorry again, Mr T, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor.’
Before he could utter another word, The Queen said: ‘I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country.’
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her”Darling, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's going to see us at this hour?"
Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, and they’re all sleeping!"
Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
Her: "No, no. I just can't"
Him: "I beg you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..
A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel.
When they are relaxing afterwords, he asks, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’
She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.
‘You might be,’ she says. ‘Your face looks familiar.’
A Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late.
The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.
The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares and lit them, and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.
The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, ‘Just take me to jail... Hell, ain't no way I'm gonna pass that test.
big waves to all,off to wrangle a breakfast out of hubs,much love to all,have a wonderful AF Sunday-Monday for TT
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