mornin all..how are we today then?not a lot on the fred yesterday..but hey ho..rabbit hutch got a re-paint yesterday,now "woodland green!"looks better now ,tho the rabbits havent really have said a lot..cold this morning but sunny...just fed the ducks in the field,the robin,and the peskies.....
ok so brew time is here
hiya pauly ..hows you then?you ready for a good day...cos its on the way today....
hi det ..how are you doing today then mate ..have you found the oomph to work out mate...?
hiya ppqp...last of winter??jeez we have supposed to have snow the end of this week again...so yup Flori dee eye ay is looking good.....you off today then cos of the weather|?
hiya Lav how are you today then?good ?so no kidz during the week?oh well time for an extended brew!nope I dont think an overnighter in Noo York would be good ..shopping.com springs to mind!!!
hi SF ..the 20s are when you get your head together..huh ?think not..mine certainly didnt form moi...glad things are on the level for you..
big hi to everyone else have a great day....
A tourist is picked up by a cab in New York on a dark night.
The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, ‘Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!’
The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a ‘little tap’ could scare him so much.
The driver, after gathering himself together replied, ‘Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ‘Bring me my red shirt.’ The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: ‘Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?’
The captain replied: ‘If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid.’ All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted: ‘Get me my brown pants.’
Two West Virginia football coaches were driving down the road when they noticed they needed some gas. They started looking for a gas station when they saw a sign that read 'Free Sex with Fill up.'
They decided to pull in and told the attendant to, ‘fill 'er up.’ After he was done the attendant went to the window and said that it would be $18.00 for the gas.
They paid and as the attendant started to walk away the driver yelled ‘What about my free sex?’
The attendant rolled his eyes and went to the window and said, ‘OK, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10.’
The driver said, ‘6.’
The attendant said ‘No, the answer was 3, sorry.’
As the attendant started to walk off the passenger said, ‘Give me a try.’
The attendant said 'OK.' The passenger said, ‘7.’
And the attendant said ‘No, I told you the answer was 3.’
The driver then sped off and the passenger looked over and said, ‘I think that game was rigged, there is no way to win.’
The driver replied, ‘Uh, Uh, my wife won three times last week.
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
‘Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!’, he whined.
‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!’ retorted the officer, ‘You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!’
‘Oh my gaaad....’, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, ‘Where's my Rolex?’
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said ‘I wish you could talk.’
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
‘You can understand what I'm saying?’ asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
‘Well, did you see this?’
‘Yes,’ motioned the monkey.
‘What happened?’
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
‘They were drinking?’ asked the officer.
‘Yes.’
‘What else?’
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
‘They were smoking marijuana?’
‘Yes.’
‘What else?’
The monkey motioned ‘Screwing.’
‘They were screwing, too?’ asked the astounded officer.
‘Yes.’
‘Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.’
‘Yes.’
‘What were you doing during all this?’
‘Driving’ motioned the monkey.
Mother: Come on victor you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school.
Victor: Ahh mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
Victor: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 34 and you’re the Principal
While sportfishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, ‘Are there any gators around here?’
‘Now,’ the man hollered back, ‘they ain't been around for years!’
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward shore. About halfway there, he called out again.
‘how'd you get rid of the gators?’
‘We didn't do nothing',’ the beachcomber said.
‘Really?’ asked the tourist.
‘Didn't have to. The sharks got 'em!’
A drunken fisherman stumbled upon a baptism service at the river where he fished and walked out in the water to where the minister stood.
The minister turned to the drunk and said, ‘Mister, are you ready to find Jesus ?’
The drunk looks at the preacher and says, ‘Ya Rev, I sure am.’
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water, pulls him up asking, ‘Have you found Jesus ?’
The drunk replies, ‘No.’
So the preacher dunks him a bit longer, pulls him up and again asks, ‘Did you find Jesus ?’
To the drunks reply of No, the minister gets disgusted, pushes the man under the water for about 30 seconds, pulls him up and asks in a harsh voice, ‘Now, my good man, have you found Jesus yet ?’
The old fisherman wipes his eyes, spits out some water and says to the minister, ‘ NO, and are you sure this is where he fell in?’
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. ‘No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.’
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, ‘Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here.’
ok so brew time is here
hiya pauly ..hows you then?you ready for a good day...cos its on the way today....
hi det ..how are you doing today then mate ..have you found the oomph to work out mate...?
hiya ppqp...last of winter??jeez we have supposed to have snow the end of this week again...so yup Flori dee eye ay is looking good.....you off today then cos of the weather|?
hiya Lav how are you today then?good ?so no kidz during the week?oh well time for an extended brew!nope I dont think an overnighter in Noo York would be good ..shopping.com springs to mind!!!
hi SF ..the 20s are when you get your head together..huh ?think not..mine certainly didnt form moi...glad things are on the level for you..
big hi to everyone else have a great day....
A tourist is picked up by a cab in New York on a dark night.
The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, ‘Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!’
The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a ‘little tap’ could scare him so much.
The driver, after gathering himself together replied, ‘Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ‘Bring me my red shirt.’ The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: ‘Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?’
The captain replied: ‘If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid.’ All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted: ‘Get me my brown pants.’
Two West Virginia football coaches were driving down the road when they noticed they needed some gas. They started looking for a gas station when they saw a sign that read 'Free Sex with Fill up.'
They decided to pull in and told the attendant to, ‘fill 'er up.’ After he was done the attendant went to the window and said that it would be $18.00 for the gas.
They paid and as the attendant started to walk away the driver yelled ‘What about my free sex?’
The attendant rolled his eyes and went to the window and said, ‘OK, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10.’
The driver said, ‘6.’
The attendant said ‘No, the answer was 3, sorry.’
As the attendant started to walk off the passenger said, ‘Give me a try.’
The attendant said 'OK.' The passenger said, ‘7.’
And the attendant said ‘No, I told you the answer was 3.’
The driver then sped off and the passenger looked over and said, ‘I think that game was rigged, there is no way to win.’
The driver replied, ‘Uh, Uh, my wife won three times last week.
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
‘Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!’, he whined.
‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!’ retorted the officer, ‘You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!’
‘Oh my gaaad....’, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, ‘Where's my Rolex?’
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said ‘I wish you could talk.’
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
‘You can understand what I'm saying?’ asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
‘Well, did you see this?’
‘Yes,’ motioned the monkey.
‘What happened?’
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
‘They were drinking?’ asked the officer.
‘Yes.’
‘What else?’
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
‘They were smoking marijuana?’
‘Yes.’
‘What else?’
The monkey motioned ‘Screwing.’
‘They were screwing, too?’ asked the astounded officer.
‘Yes.’
‘Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.’
‘Yes.’
‘What were you doing during all this?’
‘Driving’ motioned the monkey.
Mother: Come on victor you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school.
Victor: Ahh mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
Victor: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 34 and you’re the Principal
While sportfishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, ‘Are there any gators around here?’
‘Now,’ the man hollered back, ‘they ain't been around for years!’
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward shore. About halfway there, he called out again.
‘how'd you get rid of the gators?’
‘We didn't do nothing',’ the beachcomber said.
‘Really?’ asked the tourist.
‘Didn't have to. The sharks got 'em!’
A drunken fisherman stumbled upon a baptism service at the river where he fished and walked out in the water to where the minister stood.
The minister turned to the drunk and said, ‘Mister, are you ready to find Jesus ?’
The drunk looks at the preacher and says, ‘Ya Rev, I sure am.’
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water, pulls him up asking, ‘Have you found Jesus ?’
The drunk replies, ‘No.’
So the preacher dunks him a bit longer, pulls him up and again asks, ‘Did you find Jesus ?’
To the drunks reply of No, the minister gets disgusted, pushes the man under the water for about 30 seconds, pulls him up and asks in a harsh voice, ‘Now, my good man, have you found Jesus yet ?’
The old fisherman wipes his eyes, spits out some water and says to the minister, ‘ NO, and are you sure this is where he fell in?’
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. ‘No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.’
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, ‘Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here.’
Sam,I had no idea your daughter was in Guatamala! It really is some beautiful scenery there,surprisingly,SF,you sound really content
I'm the opposite in that I like the morning crew at work, we're more chill haha,big waves to all and I hope this is a great Tuesday for us all
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