Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

    mae all how are we...you aint gonna believe this one...Ive got the cold!!2 days before I go to usa and Im snotterin and sneezin like a good un!!!havent a clue where that camefrom!best it disappears as fast as it came on...all packed now..despite the cold Im off detecting ..its 5.05 am...choices are go or stay at home and tidy up...and the winner is..........................

    brew time ..have a good one folks..

    I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
    It turns out my customers didn’t like it when I tried to go the extra mile.

    I asked my Mom if I was ugly.
    She said, “I told you not to call me Mom in front of people.”

    My Dad said to me, “Son, I wanted you to know you were adopted.”
    I shouted, “You’re kidding! Really
    He said, “Yes. Get your things together, they’re coming to pick you up in an hour.”

    I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
    It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.
    .
    My girlfriend said to me, “I’m sick of you pretending to be a detective. I think we should split up.”
    I said, “Good idea – we can cover more ground that way.”

    Thank you student loans for getting me through college.
    I don’t think I can ever repay you.

    When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body.
    Men are so polite, they only look at the other 10%.

    Why do Native Americans hate snow?
    Because it’s white and settles on their land.

    There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
    Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

    What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
    The people in Dubai don’t like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi dooooo.

    My astronaut girlfriend has dumped me.
    She said she needs space.

    I’ve fallen in love with a pencil and we’re getting married.
    I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

    A boy scout says to his scout leader, “Sir, is this snake poisonous?”
    The scout leader says, “No, that snake’s not poisonous at all.”

    So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
    The scout leader says, “But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let’s get it right next time, boys.”

    A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”
    The librarian checks her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”
    The man replies, “Yes, that’s the one.”

    Alabama changed the drinking age to 34.
    They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

    Not all math puns are bad.
    Just sum.

    I tried to change my password to “14days”.
    The computer said it was two week.

    Every single morning I get hit by the same bike.
    It’s a vicious cycle.

    My wife asked me to pass her lip balm.
    I gave her superglue instead.
    She’s still not talking to me.

    What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
    No ballroom.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

    #2
    Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

    Thanks for the jokes Mick.

    Have a great Sunday, AF.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

      Mae everybody, oh Mick feel better! Those jokes were great,every time I got over laughing at one,I was laughing at the next thank you,hi Snoopstar SK,sorry about the tooth but like Lav says they can file it down,I have weird canines they're roundish and ones bigger than all my other teeth,lazy day today might go out to the new Chik Fil A that everyone's making such a big deal about, I had it once in California, that was the day Brady put his in the microwave and it caught on fire cuz the wrapper had foil! It was in the motel and the smoke detector went off,the office people came running, all was fine but sheesh,much love to all and I hope everyone has a great AF Sunday
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
      Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

      Comment


        #4
        Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

        MAE ALL....

        Mick...hope you can shake that cold as fast as it appeared. Hope your detecting is a success.

        Snoop...you have a great AF Sunday too.

        Pauly...I refuse to talk about teeth today. LOL

        Strangest weather out there. Today it's trying to rain! Glad I'm not obligated to go anywhere today. Back to read Mick's jokes. Have a good one all....:smile:PPQP

        Comment


          #5
          Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

          Get well soon, Mick.

          Hello to everyone, and have a great Sunday.

          In the Steppers thread I spoke of my coffee date this a.m. with a very interesting man. He went to show me pics on his iPad and it was chock full of, erections. Like Mick's joke, he probably had bad sunburn.
          Enlightened by MWO

          Comment


            #6
            Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

            Ahoy ABerooos!

            Mick, that's no fun mate. Hope you found some treasure to cheer things up a tad.

            SK, a guy was showing you erotic pic's on his ipad? did I misread that? hmmmm.

            well, slow day here just putzing around and getting the house in order, downsizing and such for changes to come.

            Really want to watch a movie but I just can't decide on which one yet. will figure out something.

            be well loves
            nosce te ipsum
            (Know Thyself)

            Comment


              #7
              Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

              osteroops:SK - so that's what we else he showed you. How do you pretend you didn't see that??
              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
              ..........
              AF - 7-27-15

              Comment


                #8
                Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

                Thanks for the laughs, Mick. Feel better.
                "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                ..........
                AF - 7-27-15

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunday

                  Good evening Abbers,

                  It's late but I wanted to check in & say hello.

                  Mick, is 'snottering' a real word??? Ha ha!
                  I hope you feel much better before your flight, really

                  Hi there SnoopStar, PQ, Nora, Det, SK & everyone.
                  SK, those pictures

                  Pauly, Chik fil A is closed on Sundays. I hope you made yourself something healthy to eat!

                  We had a nice visit from daughter & family, cooked turkey burgers out on the grill, nice
                  Wishing everyone a peaceful night.
                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X