yo all hows you today then?all good I hope ..I was ggoing to go to my brothers today ..but tbh ..dont feel up to it...its a fair old drive ,and didnt sleep too well along with a sore face n head!!spo giving it a miss ..just phoned him..he is on the scrounge for some tomato plants so,will talke them down next week..
so lets have a brew..
hi pauly hows you then?good eh?yep modelling job is on hold just for a short while...soon be back to radiant beauty..............................:egad:hope your day is a good one....
hi ppqp...are you ok?take a deep breath and lots of sweary words later!!no you are right..you are too far down the line to think of anything..just hope everything works ok for you :hug:
hi snoopster ..how are you ?how has /is everything panning out?look after yourself...
hi Lav...well did you get the sleep ?hope so...well heres a coffee to wake you up....Im not doing too much today,but I sure as hell aint sitting watching daytime telly!!its either all crappy reality stuff or old repeats..Deadliest catch.....wouldnt say it was old ,but its Noah with a feckin fishing rod!!
hiya sf...how did your dads surgery go..?was everything successful and go according to plan?...your post...... people stop and take the time to say "thank you". Its a pretty big deal. in reply I say ..thank you.
hiya Det ....wow mate you sound chipper...good for you ..yep the springs on the door ..I watched them...in fact too busy watching them...sounds like you could do pretty well with this takin pics game mate.. your post...., I grew up playing soccer in Oz. did you ever meet the wizard?????:congratulatory:
big shout to one and all sk pie sam nora c and everyone else...have a great day
Just seen my first new poundcoin. They say they cannot be forged
Well that's a load of old sh.t! I've been making tons of them this afternoon, all you have to do is file the edges flat on a £2 coin and you get a quid. This time next year I'll be a millionaire!
Paddy says to Mick, "I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?" Paddy replies, "I'll take her with me."
A representative for a condom company is on her way to a convention. While rushing through the airport, she drops the briefcase carrying her samples of condoms all over the floor. As she is stuffing all the condoms back into her briefcase, she notices tourists giving her crazy looks. "It's ok, she says, "I am doing a huge convention."
A man comes home early from work and tells his wife he just got fired. He tells her, "I got caught with my penis in the pickle slicer." His wife asks him if his penis is okay and he assures her it is fine. "Well," she asks, "What happened to the pickle slicer?" "Oh," he says, "She got fired too."
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. -
There was a young rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to the congregation that he will be leaving for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a silence. No one wants him to leave. Cohen, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new BMW every year, and his lovely wife with a Range Rover, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs and applauds. Feinstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands up and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a college fund to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Horowitz, aged 96, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I will have sex with him!" There is a silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Horowitz, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Horowitz answers, "I just asked Mr. Horowitz what we could do to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Horowitz said,"F*ck the rabbi." -
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does. -
Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?" They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice boobs. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?" -
Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!" -
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. -
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind. -
Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in. -
so lets have a brew..
hi pauly hows you then?good eh?yep modelling job is on hold just for a short while...soon be back to radiant beauty..............................:egad:hope your day is a good one....
hi ppqp...are you ok?take a deep breath and lots of sweary words later!!no you are right..you are too far down the line to think of anything..just hope everything works ok for you :hug:
hi snoopster ..how are you ?how has /is everything panning out?look after yourself...
hi Lav...well did you get the sleep ?hope so...well heres a coffee to wake you up....Im not doing too much today,but I sure as hell aint sitting watching daytime telly!!its either all crappy reality stuff or old repeats..Deadliest catch.....wouldnt say it was old ,but its Noah with a feckin fishing rod!!
hiya sf...how did your dads surgery go..?was everything successful and go according to plan?...your post...... people stop and take the time to say "thank you". Its a pretty big deal. in reply I say ..thank you.
hiya Det ....wow mate you sound chipper...good for you ..yep the springs on the door ..I watched them...in fact too busy watching them...sounds like you could do pretty well with this takin pics game mate.. your post...., I grew up playing soccer in Oz. did you ever meet the wizard?????:congratulatory:
big shout to one and all sk pie sam nora c and everyone else...have a great day
Just seen my first new poundcoin. They say they cannot be forged
Well that's a load of old sh.t! I've been making tons of them this afternoon, all you have to do is file the edges flat on a £2 coin and you get a quid. This time next year I'll be a millionaire!
Paddy says to Mick, "I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?" Paddy replies, "I'll take her with me."
A representative for a condom company is on her way to a convention. While rushing through the airport, she drops the briefcase carrying her samples of condoms all over the floor. As she is stuffing all the condoms back into her briefcase, she notices tourists giving her crazy looks. "It's ok, she says, "I am doing a huge convention."
A man comes home early from work and tells his wife he just got fired. He tells her, "I got caught with my penis in the pickle slicer." His wife asks him if his penis is okay and he assures her it is fine. "Well," she asks, "What happened to the pickle slicer?" "Oh," he says, "She got fired too."
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. -
There was a young rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to the congregation that he will be leaving for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a silence. No one wants him to leave. Cohen, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new BMW every year, and his lovely wife with a Range Rover, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs and applauds. Feinstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands up and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a college fund to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Horowitz, aged 96, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I will have sex with him!" There is a silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Horowitz, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Horowitz answers, "I just asked Mr. Horowitz what we could do to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Horowitz said,"F*ck the rabbi." -
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does. -
Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?" They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice boobs. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?" -
Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!" -
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. -
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind. -
Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in. -
LB,is going to Canada for a day,something about picking up some mini potatoes, I have no clue,her bf's mom is farming these weird little, crinkly potatoes and selling them to local businesses and I guess they rode up to get more,tired this morning I think I let hubs' shite mood effect me too much yesterday, he's like a Mick- happy all the time so its unsettling when he's a grouchass! Much love to all and I hope we all have a wonderful AF Wednesday
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