Saw this massive bumble bee in the house yesterday..now bearing in mind the £2 coin is similar size to a dollar coin....
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ok so now on to the brews..
Det howz you mate ..?all good chasin women around with a camera????jeez man theyll be turnin up with hairdos make up and their glad rags on next :congratulatory: only kiddin ladies ..he says confidently from the other side of the pond...seriously tho mate you are doing real good...
hiya Lav...so the guests have gone?no wonder they didnt want to go ..methinks they get spoiled ..so sil ran in ,with a pressie for you and beaming smile ,gushin thanks for looking after her pets?ah I musta dreamed that bit.
the idea of spuds in buckets is good ,Ive done it in the past both good and bad...you need to make sure that you tump them well,which you tend not to do in a bucket..you know when you build up over them?We use the word tump building a mound over them
ok a big brew for you as the household gets back to normal.
hiya ppqp..wow ..did you get the football sorted out?as for the rest...look after numero uno...sod the ex the lot think of yourself..hope you drop the drops too!!!
hiya pauly pigeon pie for tea? and it crapped in the house?could have been worse ...could have been a flying elephant!!think its time to repot my bougie Im not sure ..it has a massive root system on it..
hello the great snoopster howz you today then?how is the work scene?if you are stuck you can come and give me a hand!!
hiya tt ...how are you doing? pie long time no hear,yo sam the soil man..sk,nora c you all ok...?
goodly bye folks have a good one..
My mother used to say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.
Q: What computer sings the best?
A: A Dell.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again. -
Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince. -
Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch. -
Teacher: "What is the future tense of the statement: 'I had killed a thief'?"
Student: "You will go to jail." -
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone." -
A boy was at school and his teacher asked him to learn 3 new words over the weekend. His father is a pilot and taught him the word "takeoff." His mother is a zoo keeper and taught him the word "zebra." His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word "baby." He went to school the next day and his teacher asked, ''What are your three words?'' The boy said, ''Takeoff zebra baby.'' -
Johnny's teacher told the class to say a sentence using the word beautiful twice. A girl sitting next to Johnny said, "My mother put on a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." The teacher said "Very good." Johnny raised his hand and said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father she was pregnant and he said, 'Beautiful, fcking beautiful!'" -
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?" "Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
This young fellow is about to be married, and is asking his grandfather about sex. He asks how often you should have it. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off, and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" The young fellow asks. "Well, she goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw you,' and I holler back, 'Screw you too!'"
Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.
Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."
Two guys are at a bar. One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. I had sex with twins!" The other asks, "How could you tell them apart?" "Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Alex had a goatee."
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