mae enbeekay how are things today then?hope we are all well ..wow its that foggy out there this morning,cant see a foot in front of my face...which isnt too great because I think I would like to see if someone was trying to put a foot in my face!!quite bizzy yesterday...and the same today... interesting times in politics over here at the moment Teresa Mays manifesto makes good reading...with what she has pledged I think she is trying to recoup the "middle England vote"..we shall see.
so brew time it is...
Hi snoopster ..shed smashing is very cathartic..as exercise,tension stress and an emotive outlet too..but smashing it up is ace ...its the tidying up and putting in the van thats a pain in the a$$..ypu the way ahead is af irrespective what happens,you can do it....we are getting to be a pretty resolute bunch on here.
3142...great to see you in your new life ...well done to you ..the condo biz sounds interesting ..you go for it ...The car is just the start for me...already it has had a fair bit of conversion ,but I am sure I will be doing more to it ...when I finally get it back!I volunteered to do this garden for sil,Ive also volunteered to help build this stable block ,so thatll keep me out of trouble for a bit!
hiya pauly ..howz you ..?nope we have got a few bees ,but not millions ..they are supposed to be on the decline over here!the ducks are back,they were there yesterday ..shouted them and they came waddling over ...so now at the back,horses,cattle ducks fox kestrels merlin pheasants deer and cats playing at being tigers!how are things with you then?you doing ok? as I wrote this the male duck has turned up to be fed!!
tt...put shelves in the toilet for the books...thats where most of my planning /scheming etc is done as is I guess everyone elses..how are you doing now that you are back home ?any news on the project or work front?
hiya ppqp..hows you then..how did the hockey go...and the gardening meeting ..hope the lawyer job goes your way...love your ex strategy...sod him!!! have a good one..
mornin Lav ..no dogs barking or running around like eejits?how are you today then ?big brew here..yep saw the fox last night pretty close too..perhaps action is called for.we shall see ..hope your day goes well.
hiya Nora C how are you ..hey dont worry about grinning ..I do that all the time even without the jokes!!
hiya det ..so you are in the bruised and battered gang too..was going to say at least its healthy bruising and battering..but that doesnt ring true!!hey but sober wins!!
right got to go in a minute taking Julie to work,so have a good one peeps..
I'd advise anybody against pressing the 'Emergency Stop' button on a treadmill going at high speed.
I just did, and the bloke on it went fcking flying.
I like to put a sparkler on top of my nan's mobility scooter.
Then just before she sets off to the shops, I light it when she's not looking.
Makes her look like she has stolen a dodgem car when she's driving through Sainsbury's.
ppqp....
What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass! -
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons? Jose and Jose B. -
Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut.
I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn't believe it when I rode pasta. -
Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover. -
I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron." The second replies, "Are you sure?" to which the first retorts, "Yes, I'm positive." -
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
an oldie...
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!"
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagles -
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because chickens weren't around yet.
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat." -
so brew time it is...
Hi snoopster ..shed smashing is very cathartic..as exercise,tension stress and an emotive outlet too..but smashing it up is ace ...its the tidying up and putting in the van thats a pain in the a$$..ypu the way ahead is af irrespective what happens,you can do it....we are getting to be a pretty resolute bunch on here.
3142...great to see you in your new life ...well done to you ..the condo biz sounds interesting ..you go for it ...The car is just the start for me...already it has had a fair bit of conversion ,but I am sure I will be doing more to it ...when I finally get it back!I volunteered to do this garden for sil,Ive also volunteered to help build this stable block ,so thatll keep me out of trouble for a bit!
hiya pauly ..howz you ..?nope we have got a few bees ,but not millions ..they are supposed to be on the decline over here!the ducks are back,they were there yesterday ..shouted them and they came waddling over ...so now at the back,horses,cattle ducks fox kestrels merlin pheasants deer and cats playing at being tigers!how are things with you then?you doing ok? as I wrote this the male duck has turned up to be fed!!
tt...put shelves in the toilet for the books...thats where most of my planning /scheming etc is done as is I guess everyone elses..how are you doing now that you are back home ?any news on the project or work front?
hiya ppqp..hows you then..how did the hockey go...and the gardening meeting ..hope the lawyer job goes your way...love your ex strategy...sod him!!! have a good one..
mornin Lav ..no dogs barking or running around like eejits?how are you today then ?big brew here..yep saw the fox last night pretty close too..perhaps action is called for.we shall see ..hope your day goes well.
hiya Nora C how are you ..hey dont worry about grinning ..I do that all the time even without the jokes!!
hiya det ..so you are in the bruised and battered gang too..was going to say at least its healthy bruising and battering..but that doesnt ring true!!hey but sober wins!!
right got to go in a minute taking Julie to work,so have a good one peeps..
I'd advise anybody against pressing the 'Emergency Stop' button on a treadmill going at high speed.
I just did, and the bloke on it went fcking flying.
I like to put a sparkler on top of my nan's mobility scooter.
Then just before she sets off to the shops, I light it when she's not looking.
Makes her look like she has stolen a dodgem car when she's driving through Sainsbury's.
ppqp....
What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass! -
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons? Jose and Jose B. -
Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut.
I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn't believe it when I rode pasta. -
Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover. -
I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron." The second replies, "Are you sure?" to which the first retorts, "Yes, I'm positive." -
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
an oldie...
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!"
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagles -
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because chickens weren't around yet.
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat." -
PQ,great to hear you're taking care of you first,we were selfish in our drinking days but really we hafta be selfish in our non-drinking days too..just in a different, healthier way,I tell my family what my limits are and they just hafta deal,bedtime at a fixed time,"me" time at certain times, if I dont want to go somewhere I dont,etc,they all call me antisocial I honestly don't care
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