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    #31
    Re: Motivated in May

    Good evening friends!

    Pauly, good to see you & I hope you feel better very soon. Talk about it when you want to, just know we are here for you :hug:

    Cyn, I was worried going to bed last night but actually slept straight thru until 4 am when the dog got restless. I was able to get back to sleep for a while after dealing with her, ha ha!
    Your political work is important & I appreciate your efforts. We all need better representatives in our future Isn't it great to have your husband's help with domestic issues? LOL

    Star, we are stuck in a chilly & damp weather pattern until at least Sunday. We are supposedly getting 1-2" of rain on Saturday, ugh. I hope you have a great visit with your daughter tomorrow. She is definitely going to be a busy momma very soon

    I may be getting my granddaughter for an overnight tomorrow night. My daughter is trying to get a plan together now. My SIL is having wisdom teeth extracted Saturday & would probably heal better in a quieter environment, ha ha. I'll see what develops.
    Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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      #32
      Re: Motivated in May

      Evening all -

      Pauly, how great to hear from you - don't ever hesitate! I like the mindset idea.... great job on a week - everyday counts!

      Lav, I forgot about your pergola - how is it coming? Sorry that I haven't been on FB to see pics and posts; there's just too much going on right now. I spent an hour ripping out the dratted violets (seems cruel cuz they're so pretty, but gives 'me an inch...) from the front house garden. The space between plants looks good, who knew? Then I worked all day at a client's, came home and crashed, now I'm ready for bed again! I hope to get my old energy back someday.

      Star, my new osteoporosis book came in the mail today, i just looked at it -'the whole-body approach to osteoporosis '. I'll let you know how it is. How great that you are having a quiet lunch with your daughter, great. Enjoy!

      OK, must close now because I can hardly stay awake. Wishing all well , sending special healing, hoping for a good day tomorrow for all.

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        #33
        Re: Motivated in May

        X-post Lav!

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          #34
          Re: Motivated in May

          Good morning...

          Pauly, great to have you back, talk about what you want when you want, good you have a week behind you. So happy to hear Michelle is back, all I could think of (like with my son) is one day at a time.

          Lav, we had another rainy cool day yesterday too, now it is supposed to get warm and dry for a while. I hope it is next week when we have our grandson as he will want to play outside and getting him tired out is the name of the game. He was home yesterday when I went to visit my daughter and she needed to rest so I watched him for a few hours and he was so active, loving, adorable, but busy! I can tell you I slept well last night! A friend from my former job called and told me their was upset/upheaval after I left. I am missed and that was good to hear. However, I was still treated badly and don't understand what the heck went down. Mentally unstable boss=unstable work environment. Glad to be out of there.

          Cyn, I appreciate your political activism too, this last week has been very disturbing, more and more of the same. Sounds like lots of yard work for you, it will be worth it come summer. I looked out back and saw many weeds, so know what I will be doing this weekend. Today I am going back to my daughter's and we will have the one on one lunch. We will actually be able to talk, haha. Hope you get your stamina back. I noticed that exercising daily is building mine. I have not lost weight but feel stronger and firmer. My body at this stage of the game is so different compared to when I was younger. I need more TLC. So do we all.

          Have a great AF Friday!

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            #35
            Re: Motivated in May

            Morning friends, Star,I knew they'd be missing you when the dust settled! Employers never know what they have til its gone,enjoy lunch with your daughter Cyn,I appreciate your political work too,funny cuz they keep saying employment is up on the news but around here things are slooooow! Now that's what I call "fake" news,Lav,hope the pergola gets put up before summer's over haha I need a new strategy,, any tips appreciated but I know I have to put in the work! I wonder if I'm that hard headed to where I'm just not listening, I really don't know but these relapses need to end,I was doing so good anyway hope we all have a wonderful AF Friday
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment


              #36
              Re: Motivated in May

              Greetings friends,

              Just taking a moment to say hello before the day is completely over. My granddaughter is here & not ready to go to bed yet even though it's 10:30 pm, ha ha!
              What I could get done with all that energy

              Star, I hope your visit went well. Boy do I know about these little ones - so busy!! I think it's good that we have to push ourselves a little to keep up with them - great exercise!
              I guess that's some validation hearing from your coworker but it sure would not make me miss that environment. I wonder if they are being mistreated as well.

              Cyn, I have violets all over the place too but leave most of them alone. I have trouble getting normal things to grow around here so I just leave a lot of the wild stuff alone.
              I know you have been extra busy so please take extra good care of yourself

              Pauly, I wonder, is it possible that you are dealing with some low level depression? I know for a fact that I was & therefore I just couldn't get my act together even though I thought I was trying to straighten out. I finally realized what was going on & took definitive steps to address the depression first. I tried the Lexapro route & was left feeling numb & still drinking. Then I switched to Amoryn & felt 100% better & was soon able to begin my forever quit. I am still taking the Amoryn, once or twice/day because I know it helps keep my mood stable. I've been on it for about 8 1/2 years now & intend to stick with it unless some problem crops up. When I added the MWO Hypno CDs in the beginning of my quit everything just suddenly seemed to make sense. That's what worked for me, something for you to consider. Getting to the point of complete acceptance that I can no longer drink safely sealed the deal.

              Have a nice night everyone!
              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

              Comment


                #37
                Re: Motivated in May

                Good morning...

                Lav, having fun with your granddaughter, good for you. I am excited to have my grandson next week. Regarding my former work, I just don't understand what happened, why my boss turned on me. Yes, I am at peace with being out of there. I have time for family and other relationships and still working on my office body. It is a long road. I enjoy being more active. The weather here is perfect today, 70s and sunny. It will be coming your way. Are you celebrating Mother's Day at your place?

                Pauly, I know with me that relapse starts in my thoughts, I let them in and don't use what I know. For some reason, the torture we inflict on ourselves is pushed away too. It is a mystery to me. I liked Mick's idea to start writing stuff down, what will happen, what has happened, and of course eat something. I find if I eat, the craving usually goes away. Sorry, no new ideas. My daughter and I had a nice lunch together, just the two of us. That will not happen again any time soon. We are getting together on Mother's Day and going to Olive Garden, not my idea. She can't cook right now and has to stay close to home so will go to the crowded restaurant and be thankful to be together. Any plans with your family?

                Hi Cyn, hope you are doing well.

                Have a great AF Saturday.

                Comment


                  #38
                  Re: Motivated in May

                  Morning friends,Star,the OG on mother's day?! Its gonna be packed! I told hubs just to grill us some nice steaks,I'm not up to sitting in a busy restaurant, plus I'm trying to save money for our California trip next month glad you and your daughter had a nice lunch,Kell and I went to Cafe Rio they have the best salads! Its something we do Fridays together but I had neglected her two in a row,once cuz of the stupid drinking then cuz of detox,so it was nice to be back to reality,Lav,I do think I have low grade depression of some sort,I've tried Amoryn before but made my anxiety rev,I have a full bottle left actually, maybe I should try a tiny dose? I also know something hormonal is up and I should have written it in my planner like I usually do to give myself a heads up for that week that I'm gonna feel weird! I did that last month to remind myself, glad you had a nice sleepover with granddaughter Cyn,hope you have a nice day,hope we all have a nice AF Saturday
                  I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                  I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                  Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Motivated in May

                    Morning all -

                    Quick hello here. I am pooped from a long week, really mentally and physically worn out, so I'm just taking a break a little.

                    Hubs and I are also going through the expected difficulties in remembering how to co-habit. There's always a learning curve, but this time it seems steeper than usual. Of course when he's been away, he comes back and sees everything that needs to be done... and can't stop himself from mentioning it all! I am really at the edge of overwhelm, trying to keep several plates spinning, so sometimes I don't appreciate the comments! Also, he gets very stressed out but doesn't recognize it; he has a lot of skin disorders that I can see get worse when he's stressed, so this morning I sent him an article on psychodermatology, and now I got him to look at biofeedback watches. I don't think I could ever get him to meditate, but I'm hoping something like this would work. I just can't add a stressed-out reactive person into the mix right now - I am fighting my own battles!

                    Dear Pauly, you will get this monkey off your back - keep at it. Hormones and depression always played a big part for me... I think the writing down part and having something good to eat at hand, always, is a great mood-leveler and safety net. You will win!

                    Lav, I'm only getting the violets out of the few flower beds I have. Not too much effort and it makes it all look tidy... I need that gratification at this point! I get despondent when I don't see progress...

                    Take care all!

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Re: Motivated in May

                      Good evening friends,

                      Well I think all this stupid rain has ended (keeping my fingers crossed). I'm sure we got the 2-3" that was predicted. We took our granddaughter home this afternoon, sat & had a cup of coffee with her parents then turned around & came right back home, all in the rain, ugh. It was nice having the little one here, she's happy & energetic doing well reading. She's ahead of the game for starting 1st grade in September. Nice

                      Star, I hope you enjoy your get together for Mother's day tomorrow. It doesn't matter where you go, the company is more important.
                      No plans to celebrate here, just the way it is with holidays this year. My DIL's mood swing is still affecting almost everything, oh well.

                      Cyn, I hope you are OK, geez. You really have been burning the candle at both ends. I would absolutely turn a deaf ear to any comments from Mr Wonderful. Personally I can't stand that stuff myself. If they think something should be done then they should do it themselves. We're all adults, right? That is one message I managed to get thru YB's head these past 4+ decades, ha ha!

                      Pauly, I think zeroing in or whatever it is that causes your mood swings is vital. For me it was hormonal & a long history of unresolved depression too. That's not uncommon in middle aged women, wives, mothers & caretakers of the entire world!!!!! We are only human & we all having a breaking point. The trick is finding a way to manage all this sh*t before we decide to pick up a drink, right? Most of all we have to figure out how to be kind to ourselves - something we just don't always remember to do.
                      I think if you spend some time reading thru the testimonials on the Amoryn website you will likely be convinced into giving it another try. Start out slowly, one capsule/day with breakfast or lunch. I never felt any increase in anxiety taking it - just the opposite! You have to give it a few weeks to kick in to get the full effect.

                      Wishing everyone a nice night & a wonderful Mother's day!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Motivated in May

                        Good morning all...

                        Had a low key day yesterday, hair done, then tasks around the house. Made a great dinner, my son came over and had three helpings, so no leftovers. I am NOT looking forward to Olive Garden today, believe me, it is not my idea, but right now we are all catering to whatever my daughter wants! The last stages of pregnancy are tough and she is doing OK, just swelling up and a few things, but nothing major. Very excited for this week, I have to remember one day at a time.

                        Cyn, it would be hard to have him home after living away, I know we are adjusting to me not working full time and taking care of most things at home. My husband still wants to take care of the yard work and that is fine with me. I am asking him if he needs anything from the store, and that is just not what we were doing for the past few years. So, lots of patience and deep breaths all the way around. I don't feel I explained the tension around here very well, but it is decreasing as I go into week five.

                        Lav, we had a beautiful day yesterday, perfect for having the windows and doors open, nice breeze, it has to be coming your way! Your granddaughter sounds just wonderful, how cool she can read already, must take after her grandmother with all those smarts. Making anything good to eat today or going out? Sorry your DIL is still being crabby and mean, everyone is losing out. I was thinking about family issues and we all have them for sure. My son has been hanging around which is OK, eating dinner with us two nights in a row, but I worry about him being so lonely. Right now he is focused on feeling better and his job and that is good, but we all need friends and relationships outside of our parents. I had to go to his place yesterday and was happy to note he had it clean, a big relief to me, and a sign of better mental health.

                        Pauly, how nice to spend some time with your daughter. I know that for some people, any kind of pills do not help with depression and/or anxiety,they have to use other coping skills due to side effects. You may be one of those people. I know someone who was put on every kind of pill for the above, nothing helped, it just made it worse due to side effects. What helped/helps is eating healthy, exercising, and learning CBT skills in therapy. But, different things work for different people, we all have to find what works for us. Any special plans today? Think of me waiting in line at OG, yuck. I would have been happy to host today, but my daughter is supposed to stay in town, close to the hospital, so I will quit whining and have a good time.

                        Happy Mother's Day!

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Re: Motivated in May

                          Happy Mother's Day to all the rockin Moms out there!!! You all do so much to make the world a better place every day... I hope you get lots of extra love today.

                          Pauly, what will it be today? Steaks on the grill? I hope it's a happy one and that you have time with your girls.

                          Star, I 'm sure that the change in your work life has made some tense times at home... I hope things are working out well for you now - has it really been 5 weeks? Unbelievable! So glad your son is maintaining his household; I hope he finds some friends at some point.

                          Lav, thanks, yes I agree with you - do it yourself is the best way. Except that Mr Wonderful (ha, love that!) really has no experience with anything House related, and no skill organizing anything. And his idea of decluttering is 'get a dumpster'! So, I've decided that Teaching is better than doing it all myself... though it takes longer right now. Give a man a fish or tech him to fish, right?

                          Rain rain here all day yesterday, though I put on my rain suit and worked for a couple of hours. No rain this morning, so I'll be out there again to try to finish up some things. Ran into PI last week and have a spot on my forearm and that's unnerving, but I want some of this stuff done... I found a guy to work for $20/hr so pretty soon I'll hand the backwoods stuff off to him and be done with that.

                          Happy AF Day to all...

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Re: Motivated in May

                            Happy mother's day just a low key day for us,hubs lost his voice..Think he caught Lou's cold I've been tired,stupid drinking spree messed up my sleep pattern again,Lav,I can't believe that fued is still going! Plus she's wishy-washy she gives a little here and there then back to being mad,weird,Star,I love Olive garden though,maybe eat a snack before you go wait in line,we have one right around the corner and I can imagine all the benches outside full already haha,Cyn,stay away from the PI! I remember last year when you had it bad,off to wake up have a wonderful AF Sunday
                            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Motivated in May

                              Greetings friends,

                              Quiet day here, no kids, no grandkids either, maybe next year.
                              I cannot control whatever the hell is going on with my DIL. All I really can do is accept the situation as it is right now. Doing anything else would only serve to make me crazy & I am not going there.
                              My daughter spent the day trying to convince her MIL that they were not going to visit. My SIL had all 4 wisdom teeth extracted yesterday & feels kind of crappy today, not interested in a family gathering, ha ha. His mother is a pain in the a$$.
                              I texted back & forth with my daughter all day - almost as good as a visit.
                              I cooked a new FoK recipe today (plant based) pasta in a creamy mushroom tomato sauce with tons of garlic, very good. Of course YB had sausage with his, ha ha. I am having my twice yearly cholesterol check tomorrow & I really don't eat sausage anymore.

                              Star, we have had so many changes in routines around here over the years it's not funny. I refuse to cut grass, kills my allergies & I refuse to let YB cook anything because he would kill me with fat & salt. We each do our own laundry which is fine with me. I never was attached to the old fadhioned his/her household chores routine. My kids learned to do their laundry as soon as they could reach the dials on the machines & they learned how to feed themselves too. Having two parents working shiftwork meant they had to learn to help themselves sometimes. At this point I would just appreciate it if YB would learn how to wash a glass or a dish or at least put them in the dishwasher, ha ha.
                              You will get your new routine nailed down too then it will probably change again. I hope your Olive Garden experience wasn't too bad.

                              Cyn, be careful, I've been spotting PI around here too, ugh. I wish I could find someone to make it disappear once & for all.
                              Does your husband like to cook? Maybe he can chip in & help with food shopping & cooking or something. Buy him a nice cookbook

                              Pauly, I hope your husband feels better soon. No fun being sick this time of year.
                              I am not responsible for my DIL's mood swing so I am just going to wait it out. Regardless of how long it takes for her to swing back, it's her responsibility, right? She is very intelligent & well educated but emotionally she's a bit of a train wreck.

                              Ok, wishing everyone a good night!
                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Re: Motivated in May

                                Good morning...

                                Busy day yesterday, worked out, then drove to Olive Garden, only waited 15 minutes for a table, my daughter called a head and arrived earlier then we did so it all worked out. Afterwards we stayed for about two hours, then drove home. Completed a little yard work and had a snack for dinner, then hot tub and fell asleep early. So, that is reason I am up at 5 am.

                                Lav, you managed the day with dignity and respect for yourself, so good for you. You are of course right, the only person's attitude and actions you can control are your own. Your daughter sounds sweet, having wisdom teeth removed does result in significant recovery time, so nice you two were texting. DIL is an unpleasant person and that stinks. I always think it is about the nasty person, not the person the negativity is directed too, but it does not make it easy. It is supposed to be in the mid 80s this week and sunny, I will have to start to water and miracle grow a few things already. Well, it will keep me busy for sure.

                                Cyn, yes, week five is starting and I have a routine mostly, that will be changed later this week when I babysit for a few days. Reading anything good you can recommend? I am not thrilled about my book club selection, The Shack, as I read it a few years ago. I think it's a good idea to teach your husband a few household/yard tasks and let him be part of it. With a big yard the work is never ending, always more to do, and can be fun, I like that kind of thing. Poison ivy scares me, I have not seen any where I live now, but always on the lookout. Take care. Yes, my son seems a bit better, so I am hopeful, he was OK yesterday, family gatherings are always kind of hard for him,but he did fine. Getting into a routine and knowing his father and I will be in and out is a motivation for him I am sure. Good you found a yard person to do the heavy work, it will be worth it.

                                Pauly, low key days can be good, hope your Mother's Day was positive. Sorry you are having trouble with sleep and feeling well rested. Hopefully this week will be better for you.

                                Here's to having a great AF Monday.

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