Joyous June

[Snoopy56]

Re: Joyous June

Good morning...

Thanks for your support re: my son.

Lav, he has always had issues and looks like he will continue to. There is a missing piece, my daughter thinks he has Asperger's, he has something. No long term relationship, few friends, not organized, I just want him to work and pay his bills. But, he has a hard time taking responsibility for things and lives in fear. We know that the more you avoid things, the bigger the problem gets and the anxiety. Very sad and expensive. My daughter is fine, she invited me to go the the farmer's market in her town, with the boys and her mother in law this morning so I will be off soon. It will be fun so that is good.

Cyn, have a good vacation and have fun.

Pauly, some people just never get it; then their lives are miserable. I read Dr. Phil's book Life Strategies years ago and his major premise was you either get it or you don't. Meaning, work, be responsible, demand/expect respect from others. I agree with that and try to take care of my business with the least possible trouble. I still have to deal with an adult baby and I am tired of it. Do you have any plans this weekend or is it still too hot?

Have a great AF Saturday.

[paulywogg]

Re: Joyous June

Morning friends,Star,no plans for the weekend, hubs has to work and even if he were off he'd whine its too hot to go anywhere, me and Kell and Lou went to lunch yesterday and Lou kept saying it was "boring" I hate how his dad has raised his expectations so high,plus they usually do stuff at night when its cooler,has your son been diagnosed with anything other than anxiety? How's his job going? Its sad cuz when they're little we want them to grow up and have the best lives possible, sad when it turns out different, I'm just glad there's been no prison time,they're healthy,etc I guess,Cyn,have a great time,I'm jealous! Lav,enjoy the boys I'm glad they're spending time with you wishing us all a wonderful AF Saturday

[Lavande]

Re: Joyous June

Good evening friends,

The boys are sharing a double bed as they always do when they stay over. About a half hour after they went to bed a 'brawl' broke out in there & I let the retired cop go in & break it up, ha ha!!! When I asked him what was gong on in there he said 'nothing, just a kick fight', ha ha! I may have to separate the boys in the future to prevent injuries.

Star, I imagine your son would benefit from some testing, talk therapy, maybe even some medication. He shouldn't have to go thru life fearful, no one should, poor guy. I'll tell you what - my granddaughter had a few visits with a child psychologist & was given some good tools to help her deal with her anxiety & high maintenance phase. It was a huge help. My younger grandson has had his own therapist for quite some time & I can see the difference in him as well. Well all could use a personal guru at times!!! I hope your day was fun & you enjoyed yourself

Cyn, I sure hope you have arrived safely at your vacation destination!

Pauly, does Louie have a library card yet? The kids really enjoy going in & picking out their own books. I used to take my kids in for the weekly story hour too. I know my grandkids love gong. It's also a good way to beat the heat, LOL

I hope everyone has a peaceful night & I get thru the day tomorrow with my grandsons - oh boy!!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Joyous June

Morning friends, Lav,kids are silly,I remember having sleepovers and if we shared a bed we'd either get into fights or a case of the giggles haha,hi Star and Cyn,hope we all have a peaceful AF Sunday

[treegirl]

Re: Joyous June

Happy Sunday all! We have arrived, and all is good.

Lav, so glad you are having time with the boys - very funny story about the 'kick fight'! Take care of yourself; that sounds like a lot of activity.

Pauly, sorry Michelle is unmotivated- glad that the BF is helping her wake up to work! Hope the heat breaks - I like Lav's idea, libraries sound cool ---

Star, it sounds quite possible that your son is on the spectrum, there's so much research that links brain function and anxiety to gut health and diet... maybe also a strategy would be to find a healing professional that could give guidance that way too? Years ago I read Dr. Hyman's book 'Brain power' or something like that - it was a decade ahead of all the other research, but it's still good today. So much of our mental stress is hormone (pituitary)/food related. Good luck!

Well, Friday night I sat at the dining room table and just wept T the thought of all the packing up and loading and other getting ready work to be done before we left... and worry about the dogs, etc. But I pushed through, had a few hours of sleep, got going again about 5 AM, and we left at 8:30 AM. Long drive, but now that we are here SO WORTH IT! Plus a little bonus, SD doesn't arrive until today so we had a quiet, undramatic evening and morning. The dogs did great - they are so willing and flexible that it just tugs at my heart - how amazing animals are, will invest to go through discomfort to be with us. Girl dog is tired, but is loving the cooler weather and change of scenery.

This is a 'working vaca for me -I have tons to accomplish, so I get to stay here and dogsit and work while the two restless souls go out and do their thing... Perfect!

Wishing all a peaceful AF Sunday....

[Lavande]

Re: Joyous June

Greetings friends,

We all survived & the boys have gone home, ha ha!
Watching those two has always required a ton of energy, planning ahead & a bit of good luck. Honestly, the older they get the harder it seems to be, geez. It is them or is it me? They still enjoy being here but the demands are changing, I don't know.

Pauly, I hope your weekend was a good one

Cyn, our Type A personalities are going to kill us sooner or later
We need to give ourselves permission to just blow off some stuff. We need to develop 'nicer to ourselves' habits!
Great that you are away but don't overwork yourself. Rest, relax, enjoy some scenery & nature :hug:

Star, I really hope you are OK & not letting stuff get to you either.

I think a group hug is in order :hug:
Have a peaceful night everyone!

Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Joyous June

Good morning...

Had a busy day yesterday, exercised, yard work and then family time.

Lav, my son has had all that treatment and testing, it did not help. Very expensive and the meds are a nightmare, the side effects caused serious health issues. This is nothing new. Glad you had fun with your grandsons.

Cyn, take care and I am so glad your vacation is enjoying cooler weather.

Pauly, hope your weekend went well.

Have a good one.

[paulywogg]

Re: Joyous June

Morning friends,Star,sometimes I think its just"them" people have different personalities doesn't mean they actually "have" something, I think Michelle is just dingy haha,poor thing needed a ride to Walmart yesterday but I had Lou and hubs was working, I didn't want to drive clear across town with Lou in tow by myself, just sad cuz I did want to visit for a bit,hubs is eventually gonna hafta put his feud with the bf aside,not be besties but at least be civil,this stuff with Jon taught me life's too short,anyhoo,hello Cyn and Lav wishing us all a nice AF Monday

[Lavande]

Re: Joyous June

Good evening friends,

Star, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pester you about your son. It's true, we are all a little weird in our own way. It's one thing when they are kids & we are left dealing with upset teachers at school, upset Sunday school teachers at church, etc. When they get to be adults we expect them to take over their lives & 'act normal'. I guess we were lucky that our son managed to pull his head out of his butt after a few years of counseling. He also got very interested in scouting & joined the volunteer fire company while he was still in high school. I think that is where he really learned to interact with others on an adult level, it was good for him. I hope your son finds something of interest & gets involved. That may be just the thing for him.
We had a beautiful day, not too hot & no humidity. We had a young Amish guy here & in 8 hours he stripped the old roof off the chicken house & replaced it with a brand new one - looks great!!

Pauly, I just want the people in my life to be civil too - I get that.

Hello to vacationing Cyn, hope it's going well.

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Joyous June

Good morning...

Lav, thanks for saying that, I often feel misunderstood re: my son. As if there is an easy solution when there is not. I have had Amish workmen and they were just wonderful, hardworking and a superior job. Your hen house is just beautiful, I have never seen so nice. The weather here is just perfect, 50s at night and 70s with sun during the day. Another gorgeous day today. I went through my recipe books yesterday and eating vegan means I save tons of money, I am astounded. My Tuesday shopping trip is going to be really light. I am making a tomato veggie pasta tonight, tomorrow a potato basil tomato wrap, with left overs on Thursday. How easy could it be. I am loving it.

Pauly, I agree that sometimes people just have certain personalities, maybe not mental diagnoses although counselors are forced to give them one to get paid by insurance. So sorry Michelle is struggling, that is hard. I agree that life is too short for grudges as we just don't know how long we have. I like to live with no regrets if at all possible. It costs nothing to be kind, take the high road. My daughter was discussing something that was going on and as she asked me for advice, I thought she should just let it go. It turned out well as she found out the motive of the person was that they were upset and stressed, not trying to be confrontational. Relationships are messy and complicated though, I realize that. Hope you are doing well. I have found since I have given up dairy, that I feel so much better, I cannot believe it. I loved cheese, thought it was good for me, I guess not.

Cyn, hope you are having a great vacation.

A wonderful AF Tuesday to all of us.

[paulywogg]

Re: Joyous June

Morning friends,Lav,I thought that was a guest house so fancy haha Star,it is true that it's frustrating when everyone thinks they have an easy answer,when I used to vent about Michelle's antics before another member(not this thread and no longer here) would always say"tough love" kick her out,give her no money,etc,if it were her kid I'm sure she wouldn't do that either and if she did she wouldn't be a very good person IMO,I'm not gonna,have my little daughter living on the streets of Vegas,no effin way! They seem to be paying their rent just fine for now on their apartment so that's good,speaking of apartments Kell is looking for another one or a house,they've had sooooo many problems with the current one,the a/c is broken again and Kells bf called to complain and the manager is sick of hearing from him I guess and told him they can break the lease and move cuz she's done,good..I told Kell she should still contact the housing authority cuz at the last apt(same complex) the ceiling caved in,so they were moved to another told the carpet would be replaced(hasn't been) the bathroom tile would be replaced(hasn't) and there's mold under it! Now the a/c?not when they're paying almost $1000 in rent, Nope.anyways hope we all have a great AF Tuesday, hey Cyn check in!

[Lavande]

Re: Joyous June

Good evening friends,

Pauly - they're called slumlords not landlords when they let their apartments get so run down
Yep, I would be over there pulling my girl right out of there & threatening the building owner with a major lawsuit!!!
That kind of thing really pisses me off (excuse my French).

Star, I still love the thought of cheese but the reality is it just makes me sick. Who wants to be sick all the time?
I just read a report yesterday put out by the College of Ag Science at Penn State & they said dairy consumption is WAY down & the farmers are being forced to reduce the size of their herds and/or dump the milk being produced. Seems like such a waste but there you go - people don't want as much dairy these days.

I am very happy with the roofing job on the chicken house, it will probably outlast me, ha ha. The shed was Amish built to begin with & we used it initially to house the lawn tractor & stuff but we also had them build in a hatch door 'just in case we got chickens someday'. I am still having a problem with the young ones hopping over the temporary fencing. I found two of them out wandering around at their bedtime. I will figure out something to keep them safe.
Turns out my son forgot he had to work an overnight shift tonight & my DIL is still out of town so the boys are back here again for another sleepover. I have noticed they are doing a lot more fighting than ever. Is it a normal boy thing or are they reacting to stress? My two older brothers fought continuously when they were kids - I don't know.
Glad you are liking your new eating plan Star & saving $$ is a nice side effect

Cyn, happy vacationing!

My daughter is loving Vermont this week, I am happy for her.

Peace to everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Joyous June

Good morning...

Lav, about the boy fighting, yes it is probably normal. I remember growing up with my brothers constantly with their hands on each other, but at the same time they loved each other deeply. We added onto our house and they could have had their own rooms but chose to stay in the same bedroom. Now as adults they are not as close, but that is complicated. I am sure my grandsons will be wrestling and wild too. How nice you get to have them overnight this summer. May it continue. The pasta dish I made with canned tomatoes, sauce, and plant based milk was great and I was able to use my own fresh basil! Yay.

Pauly, yes, it is easy to say tough love but the reality is that it is not always helpful. Everybody has their own story. My husband and I know that my son has problems, so does his sister and we try to do our best to give him a helping hand without enabling him. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes I guess not.

Hello Cyn.

Well, off to make a new fruit/oatmeal dish, then a three hour drive to the doctor for my husband today. It will be a long day, but the weather is good so will make the best of it. Have a good one.

[treegirl]

Re: Joyous June

Hi all - sorry to be away, I am - curious for a 'vaca' - just very very tired, and of course there is always some sort of family drama. The good part is that the dogs are fine and maybe girl dog is even a little better... who knows? It is a really beautiful environment, that's for sure.

Star, so glad you are feeling better and that the grocery bills are down, that's great, right? And I find the dishes so easy to put together, no fuss. We have 3 different eaters here on vacation, so that makes for interesting meal planning!

Pauly, that's horrible for Kell about the apartment - that's just plain inhumane about the a/c, there's no way people cam survive there in that heat without it. I sure hope that gets resolved! How are you feeling these days?

Lav, I'll hop on FB and see your newly roofed coop - sounds wonderful! Sorry it is stressful to have the boys overnight... yep, the fighting would make me nuts, good luck! How is Maxie doing?

Well, as Star said, human relationships are messy and complicated! That goes for on vacation too, I guess. Even though I had requested a no-drama family time together, it seems that it the time to 'work things through'. So my job is to disengage and try to keep my head down! Yesterday was HB's BD, so I tried to make it a little festive, but the plans to go out to dinner didn't work and so things got a little screwy, oh well, But I actually got a present this time for him that was a surprise, victory! I spent most of the day -while SD and HB were out in the water - getting some deadline work done, so that felt good. I am happy to stay in and take care of the dogs... that's about my speed at the moment.

More quiet work for me today, I hope. We have a gorgeous view of the water, and I can walk down to the water and watch the lobster boats, so I love that. I am very lucky to be able to be here in this pretty place, and I intend to enjoy it!

Wishing all well, and thinking of you...

[paulywogg]

Re: Joyous June

Morning friends, Lav I'd be more surprised if the boys didn't fight haha,my brothers constantly did Star,I guess we just do the best we can with these grown kids,it is frustrating though and makes me a little sad,Michelle is way different than what I planned out and I have a lot of guilt Cyn,you just hang out with the dogs! Humans make too much drama,enjoy the views sounds great wishing us all a nice AF Wednesday