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**treetops** · June 4, 2017, 02:04 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Morning Mick and just horrified by the latest attacks in London. Thats the area where my daughter and I spent some time last year so I can visualize some of it. Yes I saw the comments you referred to in some of the media about getting tough - people calling for the right to bear arms - but I cant see how this solves things. There are no easy answers. I wonder how this will effect your elections?
Another day for me clearing more from the office - so now we have a big pile up of boxes at home. I get what you are saying SF about moving on. For me, I wasn't just in the job for the money - I really liked much of my work and had great satisfaction from it. I had also got to a point in my career where I could see that I would have the chance to have some real benefits in terms of achievements and creativity before I voluntarily retired. So what was upsetting was that I had that chance taken from me.
Pauly - I agree with Mick - there is no certainty about how long grieving takes - or even what is grieving and what is not-grieving. It also can come bouncing back - dreams, questions, memories, sadness. If you are unable to function when grieving and it goes on for some time - it can be depression - but even thats not straight-forward. There is no quick fix especially for the deaths of people very close to us who we love. Sometimes talking it over with a counsellor or in a support group helps - but I know how most folk here feel about this, myself included! I guess the thing is that its 'normal' to feel strange, despair, cry, have memory lapses, appetite changes, etc when a loved one dies. Its not abnormal. Too often in Western society we medicalize or psychologize processes and emotions that are very human. But societies have rituals to deal with death so maybe when you go through this it will help. Any news on when his funeral will be?
As for the rest of you talking about plants that dont need water - we have the opposite problem here. Water galore. The place is awash. No sightings of mermaids yet!
Big shout out to everyone - and lets get this weekly thread humming...

**TheSunFlower97** · June 4, 2017, 04:42 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

TT--I think it is completely different when you are working and truly enjoying your job. The sad reality is now I see too many people lose those jobs for whatever reason and then are going through what you are. It is like you played the game, worked hard, followed the rules and could see the path ahead to retirement and then it gets rips from you and it causes so much trauma. It is happening way too often, and it seems like people are living with this underlying fear that could become a reality. For me, I really enjoyed what I was doing for several years. Then the corporate world just got too intense and even overachieving wasn't enough anymore. They wanted every last drop you had. There was nothing left over for the really important things in life. I feel like I got sold a bill of goods. At least now people are waking up to the fact that go to college, get a good job and all will be well is long gone. Maybe it is a good thing. I see a lot of people rejecting that way of life. This whole work your ass of for 40 years, so you can retire isn't really flying with the younger generation. I think too many saw what happened to their parents. There is an awesome interview with Simon Sinek on a podcast called "The Good Life Project". That guy nails it.

Pauly grief is tough. My thoughts are with you.

Snoop---I think I feel more like "The Matrix" and see reality for the first time. What I believed was the good life, didn't deliver. I was so trapped into a certain way of thinking it was much like giving up booze. New neural pathways had to emerge for me to even see there were other options. In the end my corporate life was much like drinking. Looking for fulfillment in a place that brought me nothing but misery in the end.

Spent the day hiking at a lovely trail here. Left everyone at home and went on my own. Breath of fresh air and some clear thinking. I wish hubby would see the other side of things--but, like anything else---we have to see it for ourselves. I think it kind of irritates him that I am so not stressed. He will want to dump his day on me and I just have zero interest in hearing another story how his boss gave him a shitty route again. Honestly, I wish he would entertain coming to work at the store. I think he would like it, especially how tight the group is. It is funny because we do have whole families that work there. husband, wife....then the kids come too.

Mick--I would be happy sleeping 4a-11a. My energy just works that way. I still have a full day---the hours are just switched around from what people think is normal

Maybe its just rebellion for all those years of getting up and driving in traffic to get to my cubicle

**paulywogg** · June 4, 2017, 07:54 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Mae everybody, SF,I wish I could do the quote thingie right cuz I really like what you posted when you said it was like your relationship with AL,looking for fulfillment in something that wasn't working anymore, kinda how I feel about my job but I trudge through still, Mick,what I should have done is just planted the seeds directly into the garden instead of doing a transplant, the plants are just too fragile now that its hot

Louie said"Nan,your plants aren't doing that good in there" I told him they're just in shock haha,changed my living room furniture around the best we could,looks a little bit bigger,I just feel like Jon's passing made me want to make some changes in my life,small ones for now but defo a shake up,hadn't realized how stagnant I've been,hadn't realized how much I took my mom,dad,brothers and sister for granted,hadn't realized some of my bad habits,like cussing(that'll never change tho) but other things like being messy,smoking, the drinking, a true wake up call,much love to all,wishing everyone a peace filled AF Sunday

**porqoui** · June 4, 2017, 10:47 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Morning all....

Sad news this morning. The Canadian that was killed on the London Bridge was my nieces twin sister. She wasn't supposed to be there but her and her fiance took a short cut back to their hotel. He saw the van coming but couldn't pull her to safety quick enough. In a bit of shock at the moment.

**NoraC** · June 4, 2017, 12:25 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

I am so very sorry to heart that pq. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

**paulywogg** · June 4, 2017, 01:05 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

I'm sorry PQ

**treetops** · June 4, 2017, 01:24 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

That is dreadful PQ. I am very very sorry. Xxx

**Byrdlady** · June 4, 2017, 02:28 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

PQ, im so sorry to read this news. I will be holding your family close in my thoughts and prayers. Hard to make sense of this senseless act. Byrdie

**porqoui** · June 4, 2017, 05:26 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Thank you Mick for starting the condolence thread. I am still in shock but no thoughts of drinking. I've always said "What a small world" but this isn't what I had in mind. Pauly...you've been on my mind today too. :hug:

**porqoui** · June 4, 2017, 08:21 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Boy....listening to the news and family statement all day is really dragging me down. I feel like I'm in a no-man's land and the urge to quickly relieve the pain via AL is strong. So am posting as my way of writing my Mick pro/con list. Thanks for listening/reading!

**Lavande** · June 4, 2017, 08:47 PM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

I am very sorry PQ, how shocking

Please know that we will be thinking of you & your family :hug:

Hello to the rest of the crew. Nothing special to report, no need to ramble on about nothing.
Det, are you OK? Thinking about you as well.

Have a peaceful night everyone.

Lav

**TheSunFlower97** · June 5, 2017, 12:21 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

PQ--I am so sorry to hear your sad news. While these events are always disturbing, it is different when you are directly affected. I am glad you posted about being tempted to drink, which I think is completely normal. Unfortunately, it will not give you the relief you are looking for. You are in my thoughts.

Pauly--I understand the trudging on thing. We tend to stick with the devil we know vs. uncertainty. It is human nature. It took enormous amounts of pain and stress to get me out of that world---much like drinking. Sometimes I think back to one of my gigs where I was at for 10 years leading up to 2008 economic downfall. I was paid on straight commission (nobody was buying shit) and left for a salary/commission gig. Many are still there and weathered the storm. I can't speak for them---but, I cringe at the thought of still being at that gig for a lot of reasons. Only a few of us left, which was due to financial obligations----WE HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE WE HAD TO MAKE MONEY. This is the CBS station I worked for......I can't imagine how stressful it has to be working in a dying field where TV budgets are being allocated to on-line. I can't imagine going to that same cubicle for 20 years. I can't imagine dealing with the same BS that was going on 10 years ago and is still going on today. But, it took the entire economy to crash for me to get off my ass and leave that gig. I wasn't happy at it for years. I reason that I stayed for the money I was making---but, prior to the crash I could have made that same money somewhere else. The devil I knew seemed easier. Yet, it is only with hindsight I can see how destructive it was to stay there.

Pie---congrats on the real estate sales! Property barley gets listed here and it is sucked up. Even though I know real estate is selling like crazy---I know for the agents it is super competitive and cut throat.

**Guitarista** · June 5, 2017, 12:52 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Originally posted by porqoui View Post

Boy....listening to the news and family statement all day is really dragging me down. I feel like I'm in a no-man's land and the urge to quickly relieve the pain via AL is strong. So am posting as my way of writing my Mick pro/con list. Thanks for listening/reading!

Hi Abbers. Hang in there PQ. I know that sadness. Hope u don't mind if i write out a little pro/cons list since you mentioned it.....

Pros of an AF life -

Pride. Self respect. Self confidence and self esteem skyrocket. Huge positive shift in my attitude. Self care increases. Look great. Shine and sparkle. Walk taller, shoulders back, head held high.

Cons - Zero. No negatives in living sober.

Day 1. I just gotta get through this day. My current low mood is totally self inflicted and can be addressed. Very different to what you and family are going through now PQ. Take care of yourself my friend.

Thinking of you and family too Pauly.

Det, hope you're okay there.

Big waves to all.

**Mick** · June 5, 2017, 01:26 AM

Re: The Weekly Fred...w/c Sunday 4th June

Originally posted by porqoui View Post

Boy....listening to the news and family statement all day is really dragging me down. I feel like I'm in a no-man's land and the urge to quickly relieve the pain via AL is strong. So am posting as my way of writing my Mick pro/con list. Thanks for listening/reading!

Struggling to get any kind of signal at all today on a any of the computers. .doing this on phon e . ..managed to get on my phone. ..ppqp it must be a really hard time. You don't need booze. Stay strong...we are all thinking of you xx
Brew time folks. .at least the kettle is working

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