July Jubilee

[Snoopy56]

Good morning...

We had powerful storms yesterday and lots of rain, good I don't have to water! Sad to see June go, I love that month.

Lav, congrats on your anniversary, marriage is all the things you described, good times and challenging times. The fruits of your relationship your kids and grandkids! Did you do anything special for the big day?

Pauly, I am just chilling this weekend, hope to get some pool time. Exercise first for me of course. The memorial service will be challenging, I know you will have a plan. My Dad's funeral a few years ago was tough, I was exhausted physically and emotionally by the end of the services. Tough times.

Hey Cyn, hope you are having fun.

Have a great AF Saturday.

[paulywogg]

Re: July Jubilee

Morning friends, Happy Anniversary Lav Star,I wish we'd get some rain,the news said its been nearly 50 days since we had any precipitation, sheesh,now I'm wishing my parents had planned his service earlier I dont want to spend my whole July in anticipation of going up to deal with this! Its making me anxious and sad,just got to distract myself I guess,Cyn you must be living it up wishing us all a nice AF Saturday

[Lavande]

Re: July Jubilee

Good evening friends!

I actually completely forgot about having to start a new thread for July, ha ha. Thanks Star

Hot & super humid here. We had a thunderstorm right before dinner & it did nothing to improve the atmosphere, ugh.
Daughter & her family came for a visit today & stayed for dinner. I had planned on cooking inside due to the weather - good choice on my part!

Anniversaries are kind of tough for us for many reasons. YB was never interested in celebrating because his parents had a shitty marriage that ended right after their 25th. I was determined to do better than them, despite YB's disinterest in celebrations. I spent three years talking about, planning & saving money for our 25th so we could go celebrate properly. it was a river boat cruise in Germany. When it came time to purchase the tickets I told him he needed to get a passport & I would take care of the rest. At the last minute he abruptly refused to go & offered no explanation. I was devastated because it was something I really thought we could enjoy doing together. That was the beginning of the end for me. I fell into a very deep depression & started self medicating with AL. The emotional pain was harsh. He never did give me any reason & then he decided on our 30th that he wanted to go to Ireland. I said OK, we went & he was cold & distant. A week or so after we got back he was forced into admitting to me that he had been having an 'inappropriate relationship' with a so called friend of ours. Once again I was devastated & that was right at the time we were building this house & moving. I wanted to shoot him, I swear I did.
I told him the only way I was going to stay was if he went to a psychiatrist & got his head straightened out. He went for a year or so after being diagnosed with severe, chronic depression. He was put on a huge dose of Zoloft. Then he quit going, quit the med & just bumbled through until he did his sudden (without explanation) run off in 2010 & was gone for 4 years. I've never actually written all that out before - it's strange, he's strange & I guess I'm crazy for not running off myself. It's only my stubbornness & my desire to remain stable that has kept me around. Sorry to burden you girls with all that

Pauly, I also wish you didn't have to wait so long for your brother's service, doesn't seem right.
Please use my determination to remain stable & healthy regardless of everything/everyone else. Take care of you :hug:

Have a nice night!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: July Jubilee

Good morning...

Lav, thank you so much for sharing your marriage story. You have been through alot of challenging times for sure. I respect your decision to stay and have stability. You have done what is right for you. Sounds like you two have found a place where you are more comfortable and I hope your day was pleasant and peaceful. I appreciate the work you have done to be positive and strong, focusing on the present and the good in your daily life. I have added those skills to my daily life and it has helped me in many ways. Nice your family came for dinner. What did you make? I am trying to figure this new vegan way of eating with company too. I cannot make vegan lasagna all the time.

Pauly, don't blame you for feeling anxious, take care and do something good for yourself. Any 4th of July plans? We are looking for firework shows to go and see if the weather is good. Chance of rain for us.

Hey Cyn.

Have a good AF Sunday.

[treegirl]

Re: July Jubilee

Hi guys - we got back home late in the evening last night. Long drive over over 8 hours, but we have happy memories.

Sorry to be out of touch, last week was a real 'dance' for me. I had told everyone at the beginning that this had to be a work vacation for me - I took a week totally off in early May, and I don't feel that I ever got caught up after that, so I couldn't get farther behind this time or I would have a lot of trouble handling the stress - and when I go out west at the end of this month it will be to work 18/7, so I need to stay on top of the workload. Anyway, I ended up working as much as I could, while preserving 'family time' and cooking and taking care of the dogs. Star , I agreed to cook as long as I didn't have to menu plan or shop. That kind of worked, but with my dietary needs, SD who has Crohn's, and she and her Dad who are fussy eaters, yikes. Sometimes I just hate having to deal with food! Girl dog was happy on the trip but took a pretty radical turn for the worse, so we had to do an emergency vet visit there and now I have meds to take care of a secondary infection. So, the time was very complicated, but what a treat to be in cooler weather for a week!

Everybody wrote such important posts, and I will try to read back and comment on all things, but right now I am just saying hello and wishing all well.

Lav, I knew parts of your marriage story, but hearing it all put together was stunning. As always, your courage and determination are so stellar, and have been a beacon for us all. Congrats on making it to 44, and I wish you well as you navigate each day.

Star, so sorry you and HB have to go so far for care - I think you will heal him with your new food plans. Interesting about your old workplace - good confirmation I gues. Thank goodness you got out without more abuse.

Pauly, big hugs to you - I also completely understand your anxiousness about waiting for the memorial. Would the hypnosis or meditation tapes help now? I sure hope you get a break with the heat, that is miserable. Sending hugs.

About growth- yes, it is definitely not a straight trajectory! I remember a mentor of mine who talked about growth as a spiral - looking at it from the top down, you think you are just going in circles, but when you look at the spiral from the side, you see that the circles are getting wider and moving upward - you are really on an ascending pathway - it is all about which way you look at it.

Thanks so much to all for your patience with me - last week was just a long race and I couldn't get to posting, though I thought of everyone a lot.

Cheers for a good AF Monday ---

[paulywogg]

Re: July Jubilee

Morning friends,Star you'll be known as the 'veggie lasagna gramma' haha,Lav,thanks for sharing that,I've been feeling sort of weak lately and you gave me an extra push to look after ME! You had to get strong for yourself despite your husband being a dick and I admire that,sitting around feeling sorry for yourself would have been a terrible hole to get into,Cyn,I think its time to pull out the self hypnosis again,I just haven't been feeling great on and off,up/down meh,trip sounds like it was hectic! Love what you posted on growth,wishing us all a nice AF Sunday

[Lavande]

Re: July Jubilee

Greetings friends!

I woke up feeling a little worried about my post last night & hoping I didn't depress anyone with my pathetic story. Thanks for your kind words!
I have a pretty clear idea of how & when the insane drinking started & I admit I jumped into that nasty phase knowing full well I was doing the wrong thing. But the thing is - I really didn't care! Not a damn bit & that shows you the power of depression. I know I have learned my lesson, drinking AT someone just does not work.

Star, I attribute my Polish (stubborn) DNA to my downfall & my resurrection. Once I make up my mind about something I won't let anything get in the way
Yesterday I actually roasted a chicken (not one of mine) for the meat eaters, just because. But I also made a big green salad & a big pot of taco rice. So when it came time to eat I had a big dinner size salad with a side of the brown rice & a handful of chick peas tossed on top for some extra protein. That satisfied me. My granddaughter will not eat 'creatures' so she is a pasta girl, ha ha. I always cook up a little pasta for her & put some of my dairy free Earth Balance on it because she can't handle the dairy either. Sometimes she will ask for chicken nuggets (they're not creatures in her world), LOL
I did bake up a big batch of brownies & served them with a scoop of Breyers dairy free Oreo cookie almond milk ice cream - everyone was happy!!
We have cucumbers coming in like crazy from one plant in the garden. Today I made up a batch of cashew 'sour cream' & made our favorite cucumber/onion/sour cream salad, yum.
As long as I can find dairy free subs for my old favorite recipes I am happy. I think sometimes you do have to break down & cook meat for the carnivores when they come to visit.
Have you tried cooking with farro yet? I find I like it & can digest it better than barley - good for making soups & salads.

Cyn, welcome back! Sounds like you need a rest from your vacation :hug:
I hope your doggie is OK, it's always something. Our vet made a house call Friday afternoon for Maxie & left with blood & urine samples. I'm waiting to hear results but I'm pretty sure we are going to put her on gabapentin to try to treat her neuropathy. If she could have some better function of those back legs I would consider it a blessing. Poor girl cannot take more than 3 or 4 steps. I have to agree with you that meal planning for several people with different wants & needs can be a pain in the a$$ some days. Bless you for trying so hard to please everyone.

Pauly, the self-hypnosis is a good idea - do that!!!
I've been thinking about dragging some of my old CDs out just for a self-tune up - can't hurt, right?

Have a pleasant evening one & all!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: July Jubilee

Good morning...

Lav, no I have not tried farro, not even sure what it is, I will look it up. Do you use oil in your recipes? I have been trying to avoid it and looked up cashew sour cream recipes. Any you recommend? I am kind of burnt out right now in making new recipes, but will research and find new things to make for this week. Exercise first this morning.

Cyn, sounds like you worked out your meal planning on your trip. Sorry about the dog, nice it was cooler up there. I am sure it is nice to be home.

Pauly, those CDs are very helpful, hope you have a good day.

Have a good one.

[treegirl]

Re: July Jubilee

Morning all -

How is the weather for all of you? I'm crossing fingers for a less humid and hot-ish day today. Yesterday the dogs just slept in front of the fans...

Lav, your story was a great positive message! As Pauly said, it was a terrific reminder that self-care is primary, and that determination wins the day. Goodness, we all have gotten ourselves into pretty pathetic situations, but thanks (for me at least) in large measure to your example, we have all crafted our versions of Lavanitude, and we know that we can face each day with a great kind of 'stubborness'! Good luck with Maxie - I can't imagine dealing with her not being able to walk, dear me.

Star, I hear ya about new recipes. I've now decided for myself just to have about 6 rotating recipes per week, and try maybe 1 new one each week to see if it will make the cut to be in the rotation. The whole looking for recipes and getting the stuff and seeing how everyone reacts to it is just not how I want to be spending my time right now! Yesterday I saw a site that had good GF/vegie ideas, but the best part was fun 'bento boxes' that she makes up for her kids for lunch the next day with the leftovers.

Pauly, SELF CARE, self care, self care! I really hope that you can make that a priority for the next weeks. It's hard, especially in the heat, but maybe a good escape novel, some nice watermelon water, I don't know... whatever will 'fill the well' for you so that you have the inner resources to feel centered. Did I ever recommend the meditations by The Honest Guys? You can find them on You Tube, and whenever you are feeling not so great, they can be a great source of Love coming at you. Good luck!!

Well I spent yesterday morning a wreck in tears -- Sasha had been having back leg difficulties on the ride home, but I thought that it was just the car time. Yesterday I had to hold up her back end so that she could eat her food. Though she was OK-ish walking, she sank like a stone while trying to stand. Her appetite was as good as ever, but I really thought that 'the time' had come. HB leaves on Friday for the rest of the summer, and I was just trying to figure out what to do and how, and finally worked myself into such a frazzle that I had to go lie down (and slept for 2 hours - I guess I needed that). But as the day went on, she got stronger, so... who knows. I am a little fried from over a month now of interrupted sleep, on the floor, on the couch, in my sleeping bag on a pad, etc. Now I am dosing gabapentin every 4 hours, plus other meds, so I think I am not in the best shape in terms of rest. Plus in Maine the sun came up so early that the dogs decided that their day had to start at 4:30 AM! So I will try today to take a step back, get some rest, eat well, and take some deep breaths.

Wishing all plenty of deep breaths and a lot of self care today --

[paulywogg]

Re: July Jubilee

Morning friends,Star yep getting 'recipe burnout' is a thing haha,we end up eating the same things every week too and thats still using meat,I can't imagine how hard doing veg only would be, Cyn,poor dog last night Winslow was scratching on our bedroom door at 12:30 to get in he NEVER does that! So I let him in and he jumped on hubs' side of the bed,realized he was in it so jumped and slept under the bed,reminded me of when kids have a nightmare and want to sleep in their parents room,maybe dogs just hate summertime? I have no clue,Lav,cute granddaughter doesn't eat creatures but chicken nuggets are ok haha,I guess we're all like that and if our meat didn't come all wrapped up on a shelf nicely we wouldn't eat it either,hubs has to work tomorrow and it irritates me! Since when are people so UnAmerican? Rather be greedy and make money,I hate Vegas for that.wishing us all a nice AF Monday

[Lavande]

Re: July Jubilee

Good evening folks,

The heat & humidity is getting pretty gross & I don't see a whole lot of relief in the forecast, ugh.

Star, I have cut way back on the use of oil but I find I don't want to completely give it up. It just gives a back flavor to the veggies you saute for your dishes. I really miss it if I do without.
Take a look at: mywholefoodlife.com - healthy food can be delicious! for the sour cream recipe. It is probably the best one I've tried. I almost never think to soak cashews overnight but if you boil them for 3 minutes then let them sit for 15 min. they soften right up. Just be sure to rinse them after the soak.
Tonight YB ate leftover chicken that I heated up in a taco sauce - so he ate tacos. I had a bowl of my leftover mushroom farro soup & a non-dairy grilled cheese sandwich
Farro is an ancient grain, good protein source & good amount of fiber so it fills you up. There's lots of recipes out there for soups & salads or yo can probably use it in any recipe calling for barley. It also has a good dose of magnesium, zinc & iron.
Recipe burnout is not unusual but I am determined not only to eat healthier but also finds things that actually agree with me.

Cyn, I know how tiring it is handling these aging dogs :hug:
Maxie had me up at 4 am - again. The vet called tonight to discuss her test results & it looks like she has another UTI (which is probably causing these nighttime outings). So on Wednesday I will pick up an antibiotic for her along with the gabapentin & hope she can regain a little use of those back legs. This is not easy, I completely understand. They always said 'sleep when the baby sleeps' so a nap when you can manage it is a good thing. My Lavanittude certainly does come in handy sometimes

Pauly, I spent 30 years working every other holiday & every other weekend (so did YB) so it just seems normal to us. Try to think about all of the people stuck working in hospitals that never close down, ha ha!!
Did yo get your hypno stuff going again like you said? I wish I hadn't given my MWO CDs to a former member, she never sent them back.

Tomorrow is Mick's 5th AF anniversary. I think we need to start a party thread for him if someone hasn't already.
Be safe everyone & have a nice night!

Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: July Jubilee

Good morning...

Cyn and Lav, so sorry to hear your doggies are having such a hard time and require so much care. Have been there and done that.

Cyn, it is so hot here too, but I stay in the AC as much as possible. I like the idea of a few recipes and I have those but also get tired of cooking every night, although I feel good when I eat this way. I found a potato salad recipe with all good stuff so will try that today. Hope the corn on the cob is getting good, one of the joys of July.

Lav, I looked up the website and it is a good one. Thanks. I decided to take it easy today on the 4th of July and will skip the health club and exercise at home and take a walk in the neighborhood. Run to the store and make a few new recipes. Fresh fruit for desert, that is easy and healthy. I am finding that it is ok to keep it simple.

Pauly, my husband is working today too. I am focusing on being grateful he has a job and can support us. Also, will have a meal when he gets home. We may go into the city tonight to see the fireworks and walk around, depending on the weather. He is off tomorrow, so we don't have to worry about staying out a little later then normal. We'll see. It does suck that he has to work today, it is hard on him, I can tell. Hope you have a good day and get to see your grandson. My daughter and her family are out of town so no grandsons this week.

Happy 4th of July to all, let's make it AF for a great one.

[paulywogg]

Re: July Jubilee

Happy 4th of July !! Hope everyone has a nice AF day

[treegirl]

Re: July Jubilee

Hello all! Happy 4th!
Pauly and Star, sorry that your hubs have to work. Usually that is the case here too, but not this year... we went out to breakfast (he ate, I didn't) and that's our celebration for today. As I said, he is leaving Friday for the rest of the summer, so we are trying to catch some quiet moments in the midst of packing and shipping clothes and work items and deadlines, etc. Sometimes I think the small moments are better than trying to go away and 'vacate'...

Wishing all cool and well - right now on the porch under the umbrella is pleasant, and Sasha is resting here with me. The beat goes on...

Take care all -

[Lavande]

Re: July Jubilee

Good evening friends,

Happy July 4th to all
Hot & humid today again & we had a thunder storm at dinner time. The humidity skyrocketed after the storm, yuck. This girl is grateful for the AC.
I'm sitting here watching the festivities in DC on PBS. I don't even know if my son is working there today.
No family gathering today due to the ongoing family dysfunction. This is really starting to make me sad. The one thing that I know I've done right in my life is my family & now it's screwed up because of my DIL's insecurities. Crap.

Didn't feel like cooking outside so I put a dairy free risotto with sun dried tomatoes in the oven, made a white bean & tomato, basil salad & browned up a piece of smoked kielbasa for the meat eater, ha ha! Star, don't forget to check Go Dairy Free: The Best-Selling Dairy Free Cookbook for recipes you can use

Hello to Cyn & Pauly!
Glad everyone is OK & hanging in there.
Have a peaceful & cool night.

Lav