brews all round
hiya pauly ...new week new start ...its time to get yourself motivated again!!!I know things have been tough for you ......but is that any excuse for you not to enjoy life?
my poor analogy of life is..and I have done this a few times ,especially when Ive been really down or a tragedy etc..consider your self as a tree..it starts as a seed ,grows a small shoot and a rootball..you are that rootball..the main trunk is the path of life..your life..as it grows,branches appear ..they are path changing choices..do you break the main stem and follow the branch or not? those branches represent people ,things you do etc..but you as the rootball carry on supporting the main trunk ...sometimes along that trunk ..the branches break off..either thru ill like other circumstances etc...but the main trunk will keep going..and as it does other branches will sprout...unless the time comes when you as the rootball decide not to support the main stem and dont nurture and look after yourself....
:hug:
mornin Lav ...hows you then?hope all is well..so you went to an archaeology dig....did you/he enjoy it? I got a mesage from a friend ..one of the skeletons that I found at that castle has just gone on public show....
Ive also been asked to write an article on finding it ..?? hi dug a hole saw bone it was a skellington ..end
any way heres a brew..do you not pickle the cucumbers?
hiya ppqp....hows you today then?all well in Calgarysville?hope so...
hiya SF.... another interesting post...unfortunately I dont share your like of KIng as an author..but how crap would the world be if we were all the same..as for getting into things..sometimes I have to boot myself to shift ..but then its like being on a hill..I dont stop..ha until I hit something..I see where you are coming form re the kids,but all you can do is the best you can for them..your infuence will give them a lot ..but it isnt the be all and end all...peer pressure ,curiousity etc weve all been there ..at the end of the day it is choices ..theirs..
hiya tt you ok
hi det mate hows you then?
right peeps offskki..have a good one ..
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. He starts on this when suddenly a huge fish leaps out and bites him. He is not going to let a fish have a go so he beats the offending fish to death with a spade.
Realising that his boss is not going to be best pleased, he tries to find a way to hide the dead fish. He hits on the brilliant idea of giving the fish to the lions as lions will eat anything. So he throws the fish into the lion's cage.
He then moves on to his second job, which is to clear out the monkey house. He goes in and a couple of chimps starts throwing coconuts at him. Not amused he swipes at the chimps with his spade, killing them instantly. He's really worried now, so what does he do? He feeds the chimps to the lions, because lions eat anything. He hurls them into the lion's cage.
Anyway, he moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from South American bees. He starts on this and quickly gets attacked by the bees.Alarmed, he grabs his spade and smashes the bees as hard as he can, squashing them to death. By this point he is not too worried about the death of bees as he knows what to do by now. He throws them into the lion's cage, because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. It wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like in here?". The other lion says:
"Absolutely brilliant, today we had fish, chimps and mushy bees"
A few things to think about.
Why are there signs in Braille saying Do not touch?
How do they get the Teflon to stick on saucepans if it's non stick?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologises for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you fcking bstard idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVOURITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.....
if they're okay............. then it's you.
I was standing at the bus stop this morning next to a heavily pregnant woman.
I said politely, "When is it due?"
She smiled and replied, "Nine days."
I said, "Nine days? Fck that, I'll start walking."
3 Irishmen in a bar. Paddy says, "My local's better than this. In my local you buy 2 drinks and get the 3rd free." Mick says, "Well in my local you buy 1 drink you get the 2nd free." Murphy says, "That's nothing, in my local you buy the 1st drink, then the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th are free. Then you go out the back and get sex. "WOW," says the other two. "Has that actually happened to you?" "No," says Murphy, "But it happened to my sister."
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