Anchored August

[Lavande]

Welcome to August
I know I feel anchored in my AF'ness, hope the rest of you do as well.

Star, when my son entered his last year of college I knew that my need to earn a certain amount of money would ease up quite a bit. That's when I decided to hang up my scrubs & spend the next ? years doing something that I liked, something pleasant & not necessarily full time. I opened my embroidery biz & that kept me afloat for quite a while. I have slowly put the biz on the back burner the past few years but that was largely my choice. At this point I am not real concerned about becoming insignificant & don't think it's in my nature to be useless, haha. I always seem to be able to find something to do, that's for sure. As far as money goes, I can turn on my SS any time now but haven't yet. I think you need a little more time to really see the whole picture then make a decision about the future. As long as the bills are paid & all that, don't rush yourself.
My DIL has made it perfectly clear that she does not want to talk to us. We are not to know anything about her apparently.
I watched her FIRE 2 babysitters over the last 2 or 3 years for no good reason. Then she fired us last September. Outrageous mood swings, lethargy & irritability are part of her bipolar symptoms & hard to live with in my opinion. My grandsons need a functioning mother, not the blob she is these days who chooses to be on the west coast doing something else. I'll shut up now
I decided to thin out my chicken flock today & handed over 18 hens to our Amish friend. I'm in the mood for less work outside this fall, ha ha!! The 6 babies are starting to lay mini eggs, they'll be up to full speed soon & I kept 3 of the older layers so the new total will be 9 for now.

Hello to Cyn & Pauly. Hope to see you both real soon.
Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Anchored August

Ahoy there me hearty's!

Dropping anchor for a short spell from the wild weather in these calm warm waters. Easing up your workload sounds good to me Lav.

Happy August gang!

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Hi Guitarista, nice to see you for a visit. I always like to hear from you.

Lav, it sounds like your DIL is emotionally unstable and their is no reasoning with someone when they are mentally ill, no logic or reason. Glad you could vent a bit, it is so unfair and hurtful. I wonder how long your son will be able to put up with that level of chaos. Tough way to live. I think sometimes re: work, I am too hard on myself. Yes the bills are paid, we have health insurance, and right now are just fine, so maybe I need to quit being hard on myself. My husband likes me to be at home he works close to 60 hours a week and needs the support. He is more relaxed. Thanks for the support. A friend at workout gave me info on a possible part time job in my field so I will research it later this week and maybe look into it. Part time would be OK.

I saw pics of Pauly on FB, family time, grieving together, hope she is feeling somewhat better, I don't know, life is so hard at times. We have both been through deaths and it hurts so bad, takes lots of time to get back to a new normal.

Hey Cyn, hope you are having fun.

I have family over today, so busy busy busy. Have a good one.

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening Star & nice to see you here too G

The dust is starting to settle around here, I think. Boy it has been a difficult few weeks.
My son picked up his dogs this afternoon so it's much quieter, that's for sure. I am happy having only 9 birds to look after for a change.

Star, a part time gig sounds pretty good. I hope it works out if it's something you would like.
Less work & less stress as we age should be mandatory in my opinion. I don't know about you but I definitely feel I have had ENOUGH stress to last me thru my next few lifetimes, if you know what I mean.
I hope you enjoyed your family day today!

G, don't be a stranger, stop by any time

Cyn, I hope you are doing well.

Pauly, it was good to see your FB pics. Still thinking of you & your family.

Have a nice night everyone.
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Lav, yes I have had lots of stress in my life, but I do believe that most people have challenges, ongoing, for most of their lives. I read articles by Richard Rohr who believes that we only grow through the hard times. In looking back I believe that is true, but would enjoy more easy times, and I am sure you would too. Good for you in giving away the chickens for less work. Sorry you can't garden, I really can't either for the same reason, poison ivy usually turns into blisters and is a nightmare. Have you seriously thought of moving and downsizing? Maybe in the next five years or something. Moving is hard, but I am so much better with this smaller home and yard close to all types of things. I remember I did not think so at the time.

Hello to Cyn and Pauly, have a great AF Thursday.

We enjoyed our grandsons yesterday and were able to be outside a bit, but it is soooo hot it is hard to be out for long. Evening would be better. Today I have someone coming over early to look at my broken garage door, an estimate for a home project and getting my hair done. I am supposed to meet up with my neighbor for dinner, but she cancelled out earlier this week for the book club, so I do not know what is going on. Every time I talk to her she tells she does not like it here, wants a partner, and is overall depressed. I don't need that. Not to be mean but I am not her therapist and of course she is not happy, she focuses on what she does not have. Yikes. Finding friends is a challenge.

I want to tell you I made a pizza last night with no cheese and it was OK. I missed the cheese but focused on changing the way I eat. The corn on the cob right now is awesome too and tomatoes. I live by a small farm and they just started selling both. Anyway, still enjoying more and more veggies and my body is benefiting from the good choices I am making. Will be looking for new recipes today for the weekend.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends,just thought I'd pop in for a quick hello,Lav I never got a chance to tell you I was sorry for Maxie passing,I wonder if we see our pets we loved again someday? When my beloved dachshund passed a few years ago it was right on my father in law's birthday and he always loved Cookie,I wonder if he just needed some company? Guess I'll find out someday,Star,I can't be around depressed people,, it starts rubbing off,don't need that at all! I keep thinking of making changes aka getting a life but I just don't know what I want,like you said making friends as adults is hard,I'm not into going to church, I'm not too keen on any classes,the gym grosses me out,etc,Brady is going to Portland with LB for a month and I feel sad but I can't be selfish and whine about him going,that was my wake up call that I need to focus on new things,grrr,how's your son doing? Michelle has been working her little buns off thank goodness, say what we will about her boyfriend but at least he motivates her! Hubs and I could never get her to do ANYTHING this guy lit a fire under her and they get stuff done,I was so happy that they drove up to my hometown for Jon's memorial I wasn't sure she'd make it but I'm glad she did cuz she'd have regretted not being there,poor thing cried her eyes out,I think it all felt unreal to her at first,anyhoo,I really hope today is an easy AF day for us all

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

Nice to see you both Star & Pauly :hug:

I think the 3 of us have a common complaint - it's difficult making new friends as an adult! I've known this for a long time but it doesn't make it any easier. No one wants to be around a chronically depressed person, they suck all the air out of the room, don't they? I don't have the energy to deal with people like that anymore.
I think having the internet & forums like this has done a lot to relieve my anxiety & concerns. FB is OK but I use it for different purposes. Here we can get down to the real nitty gritty without fear of offending anyone because everyone is pretty much in the same isolated boat - right? grateful to have you girls & Cyn to talk to whenever I want

Star, if & when I ever leave here it going to be for a nice granny condo, ha ha! YB just mentioned yesterday that he would never live in one, so.......
He won't admit that he is as tired as I am of all the work that needs to be done around here.
Our home just had it's 14th birthday last month but we are now talking about having the entire driveway dug out & replaced. The grading was never right on this one which as caused it to hold water in some spots & consequently crack & basically fall apart. No amount of driveway coating will fix it so we will be gathering prices for a replacement. That will not be a cheap job by any means. We have to take care of the properties, right? Have you tried making any of the cashew mozzarella cheese recipes Star? Some of them are so good & you can grate them right on to your homemade pizza? I have my eye on Thyme & White Bean pot pies from Minimalist Baker. Just waiting for cooler weather to give the recipe a try. Should make a good fall/winter dish.

Pauly, I'm glad you are back with us, we missed you.
Yeah, I am missing Maxie but I am grateful she is no longer suffering. It was getting to be too much for all of us really. A little less than 24 hours after she passed I saw a red cardinal land on my grill on the deck. It just sat there & stared at me through my kitchen window for the longest time. I swear it was a message from Maxie telling me she was OK.
I'm glad Michelle is doing OK & working hard, that's good for her right now. Brady went off to Portland last summer too, didn't he? It's good for the kids to separate from their parents a little & build self-confidence. He's going to be a senior this year?

Cyn, I sure hope you are doing well, miss you.

Have a nice night everyone.

Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Pauly, thanks for stopping by. I think making friends as adults is a process, I wonder if I will ever have close friends like I did when I was younger. I love the classes at the gym, it has made a difference in my life, made a few friends, but again, it takes time and we don't see each other outside of class. I did miss the last two days and a friend texted me and said what is going on, so that was nice. I am going today!!! The neighborhood book club has not taken off but I do feel more connected in my community, I am going to help at the park tomorrow morning. You asked about my son, well, he was abused at work for being gay, called a f**ing faggot, and he left, called the regional manager, and the guy had to leave, this while we were gone. My daughter was there for him and she said he was a wreck. Of course he was. Can you imagine? What is wrong with people? I just don't get it. He is back at work, does not have to work with the guy and they are doing an, "investigation." He was evil enough to be abusive with no one else around. It never ends. My daughter and I were talking about it and she said, "people just really hate gay people." And use the bible to justify it. Very sad. I am glad to hear Michelle is doing well, working hard and being a grown-up, I know it helps me when my kids do that. Saw the pics on FB of your trip, what a tough time for you. It is so good to hear from you. Brady will have fun when he is away, letting go of our kids is so hard. Nice to have Louis and another on the way.

Lav, I long for a good friend who has time to hang out, share interests, etc. MWO is helpful but I also want face to face, someone to shop with, go out to lunch once in a while, and other things. I appreciate everyone on this thread so much. Could you once again share the website with the vegan mozerella cheese? I would love to make it, the pizza was OK, but the vegan cheese is probably delicious and would make all the difference. My neighbor did cancel, she is tired and I get it, she has a chronic illness, it would be hard. She is depressed and does suck the life out of any situation. Very negative, and I don't like it. I am continuing to look for things to do, people to meet, but also spend time at home, getting stuff done and reading. I treasure some alone time too. How hard with Maxie gone, and yet it was time, so sick for so long. My cat is shedding like crazy, not eating regularly, getting old, I have been there and done this before too. But hey, it is cooling off a bit today so I am roasting veggies in my oven for dinner over brown rice, turning off the air later today and letting in the fresh air. A little taste of fall for us with highs in the 60s to low 70s. Perfect weather for me.

Hello to Cyn, have a great AF Friday.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends,Star I'm so sorry your son was abused at work! I really hope that guy gets fired,being written up or some other "punishment" is not enough IMO,I guess I'm lucky that I have Kell or Michelle close to do stuff like shopping and lunch,I'd rather hang out with them anyways haha,Kell has been staying with her bf's mom for 2 days while waiting for a house app to go through and this lady is driving her nuts! First night she started crying-REAL tears cuz Kell scratched one of her pans cutting a pizza,then Kell had 10 chicken nuggets in the oven cooking and came to check them and there were 4 left,if Kell runs at gets food she's expected to get everyone something its come down to them eating at the park or in her car haha,I like her bf's mom but I think she has mental problems or she's just so damn bored at home she starts conflict for something to do,Lav loved the pics of the flower on fb,such vivid color,I pretty much gave up on my flower pots this year I do have a nice cactus bowl thats still doing good though,at least there's that,hello to Cyn wishing us all a happy,healthy AF Friday

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

Still hot here but there's a cold front moving this way that's supposed to fire up some storms followed by cooler weather for a few days, yay!

Star, I am really sorry to hear about your son going thru that. Some people just suck, there's no other explanation.
I hope things are handled properly at his place of employment. No one should have to suffer such indignity.
I keep thinking about the friends issue too & keep coming to the same conclusion - we just can't go back to the way things were when we were young. All of those girls I grew up with went their own way & I guess I did too. Kids don't have the baggage that adults carry around so it's easier & more natural for them to make new friends. I am grateful that I can text my daughter 7 get a pretty quick response & see her once or twice a month.
I have at least a half dozen vegan mozzarella cheese recipes but the one I like the most is this one (I made it today as a matter of fact):
Vegan Mozzarella Cheese | Anna Banana
I like that you can slice & shred this cheese like 'normal', ha ha.

Pauly, I was so distracted with Maxie these past months I never got around to doing the usual planting of summer flowers. I was happy to find the zinnias popping up on their own from last year's seeds. Kind of a gift from the universe.
Sorry Kell is having to deal with a crybaby woman - sounds exactly like my MIL. All I ever seemed to do was make her cry & I never even tried, haha.

Cyn, can't wait to hear how your mission is going!

I am happy I am getting my granddaughter on Sunday & she's staying overnight. She's such a happy kid these days, makes me happy.
Be well everyone!

Lav

PS: My young chickens are now following me around like puppy dogs so you will see a lot of FB pics of them, LOL

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Pauly, some people are just mean and cruel and get away with it. This time the guy will not be working with my son anymore, and I hope he was fired, but who knows. Being abused is horrible. Sorry your daughter is staying with someone who has issues, that would be hard, geez. Hope they get their house, that would be great.

Lav, thanks for the recipe, I will have to try it out and I saved it this time, you have patience. How funny your chickens following you around. Nice that your granddaughter will be spending the night. I get my grandson again in the coming week and looking forward to it. It has really cooled off and I am grateful. The effects on my son of being abused are ongoing, I am going to try and get him some CDs to listen to or something, his tic disorder goes crazy when something like this happens. Also, he has some kind of rash and was put on lotion and two kinds of pills, I know it is a result of the stress of the abuse. I am going over to his house this afternoon to help him get some ugly border off the walls, will see for myself how he is doing.

Exercise this morning, then helping at the neighborhood park, so I get to be outside for a time today. Have a great AF day.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends, Star,to me what that guy said to your son would be the equivalent of a racial slur and attack on someone of color and that would hopefully prompt a quick firing,so damn rude and uncalled for especially at work and especially cuz your poor son had a hard enough time finding that job,I still think with DT being president some people don't watch their words anymore cuz they figure he says shit why shouldn't they? I knew it would be like this it rained off/on here yesterday, the kids were amazed at how fast hubs moved their stuff,he doesn't mess around haha! Lav,so cute the chickens follow you around, my tortoise does that but by the time he catches up with me I'm on the move again I hope work is easy today,,it was awful when I was on my bender to go up there and try and look normal,how exhausting wishing us all a blessed AF Saturday

[Lavande]

Re: Anchored August

Good evening friends,

Last night's storm did indeed bring cooler, drier weather ~ perfect
Clear skies, nice breeze & plenty of sun, who could ask for more?

Star, I am sorry your son is so stressed over that bozo's foul words. I think Pauly is right, all the progress we have made as a nation over the past 50 years is simply being flushed down the toilet. Society has taken steps to be more inclusive & accepting of people's differences. Now I feel like we are all being pushed back into 1950's thinking. I don't want to go there again
I sure hope your son feels better soon, no one should have to suffer like that. Some hypno therapy sounds like a good way to get his thinking on another tract. I hope your day was a positive one.

Pauly, I saw pictures on the news of flooding from heavy rain in your area. I hope you didn't get anything that bad.
Now that you are back on track, take a moment each day to be grateful. I do that myself & always will. I have no idea where I would be right now if I hadn't made my commitment to remain AF. I've been thinking lately just how bad AL was for my depression - I won't ever go there again. It truly is easier to remain AF than having to push yourself to quit over & over & over.

Cyn, hope to hear from you soon.

Be well everyone!
Lav

[Snoopy56]

Re: Anchored August

Good morning...

Pauly, glad you got some rain and are feeling better. There are always mean ignorant people but to get in someone's face and insult them is to me verbal assault. I hope he learned to not ever put up with that type of abuse and to immediately call a supervisor and document it so that it stops. He and I worked on his condo, taking down the border, and it was kind of fun. Today we are going to finish up and then spackle in prep for painting, so that will keep me very busy this week.

Lav, it is still cooler here and today rain predicted and cloudy all day. That's ok, I like a rainy day once in a while. It already feels like fall is trying to make its way into our area, but I am sure the summer heat will be back. I spoke to my frenemy yesterday and we again had a good conversation, some of it about friendship at this age. She shared that yes she has other friends but they don't have the history we do, and she is right. We were talking about family things and since we have known each other since we were six, we know everything about each other's families. She is getting to a better place in many ways, but still struggles with wanting others to live up to her expectations, rather than accepting them for who they are and going from there. One thing I am working on is accepting people for who they are and not trying to change them. It doesn't work anyway. I have really been working on growing in compassion and kindness towards others as much as I can. I don't always make it but with practice will get better.

Hey Cyn, hope to hear from you soon.

Have a great AF Sunday.

[paulywogg]

Re: Anchored August

Morning friends,Star I'm glad you guys had some fun tackling the border I absolutely hate painting and everything associated with it haha,I want to paint my room a dusty rose color but I don't want to do the work I asked hubs to retile my bathroom nearly a year ago...its still yet to be touched I guess we both hate home improvement projects.Lav,I do take time out to be grateful at least for something small,you never realize the small things we take for granted,on my bender I could barely eat,I only remember bits and pieces and I wrestle with that knowing before I buy the al but I still gave in I'm just glad I was able to sober up before Jon's memorial, it was sketchy there for awhile I just wasn't sure I'd be able to,not sure what my plan will be from here,I need something new,the disgust,shame,guilt and physical symptoms fade after awhile and I forget til I'm in the throes just how bad it is,think I'll treat hubs to a cheap breakfast at Denny's we haven't been in awhile cuz I tend to not eat when drinking, see its small things like that I miss out on,time spent with hubs,Lou,my kids,my exercise, etc,plus there's the new baby on the way I don't want to miss a second! If the AA near me weren't so creepy maybe I'd try that again but the neighborhood sucks! When hubs went to the optical clinic there at the Walmart he asked if I wanted to go,,hell no I hate that Walmart, I'm telling you the area is creepy,anyhoo I hope we all have a great AF Sunday