mrning all to a snowy and cold Shaw..........it is freezing here and on the way up the hill last night my car was playing skiddy.com! so unless there is some big change wont be going far today...dont know if I menshuned it ..but 9 days an Ill be in the sun ...I did??? oh dear.
brew time..well the front room is finished ,now thinking about the next job!!
hiya Lav ...well done on getting snow ..I would have hated to be the only one..so the lickle chicks aint impressed with the snow?Ive just bought a new table,and Julie got me a case for it ..yup minions it is...have a brew...
hiya ppqp...ta muchly furasnawanat tr(for the snow and that)pure glaswegian .glad you enjoyed the xmas meal...as for the secret santa gifts..you should buy the guffiest presents ever..We were talking about that ..Julie at one sta[ge wanted a skye terrier dog...so I got her a doorstop with a pic of one on ..I also bought her a dress when we first met...I think she was a size 8...the dress I bought was 12 ..in her words something like my gran would wear
hiya det good for you bro..get the loot and rest up ...chicken broth and a good kip..
hiya pauly how are you then?how was work then?did it go ok?did hubs like his food?
hello to everyone else
Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?"
A Bear, a Lion and a Chicken meet....
Bear says: "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."
Lion says: "If I roar in the desert, the entire desert is afraid of me"
Chicken says: "Big deal, I only have to cough and the entire planet shits itself
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to
call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him,
"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I had locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a s! peeding ticket. Later,when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started
waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.
"Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled allover the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing wi! th no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
"And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
brew time..well the front room is finished ,now thinking about the next job!!
hiya Lav ...well done on getting snow ..I would have hated to be the only one..so the lickle chicks aint impressed with the snow?Ive just bought a new table,and Julie got me a case for it ..yup minions it is...have a brew...
hiya ppqp...ta muchly furasnawanat tr(for the snow and that)pure glaswegian .glad you enjoyed the xmas meal...as for the secret santa gifts..you should buy the guffiest presents ever..We were talking about that ..Julie at one sta[ge wanted a skye terrier dog...so I got her a doorstop with a pic of one on ..I also bought her a dress when we first met...I think she was a size 8...the dress I bought was 12 ..in her words something like my gran would wear
hiya det good for you bro..get the loot and rest up ...chicken broth and a good kip..
hiya pauly how are you then?how was work then?did it go ok?did hubs like his food?
hello to everyone else
Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?"
A Bear, a Lion and a Chicken meet....
Bear says: "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."
Lion says: "If I roar in the desert, the entire desert is afraid of me"
Chicken says: "Big deal, I only have to cough and the entire planet shits itself
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to
call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him,
"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I had locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a s! peeding ticket. Later,when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started
waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.
"Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled allover the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing wi! th no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
"And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
I'm jealous of all of your guyses weather! Im tired of warm days that sounds weird but its not Christmassy at all
Det,hope you're feeling better,PQ,what did I miss for dinner last night? No gossip that I could hear yesterday,I'm sure they think I'd repeat it so they went to the back to talk haha,bunch of babies I can't believe grown people act like that,anyways much love to all and wishes for a happy AF Sunday
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