w/c10th

[Determinator]

Re: w/c10th

Ahoy Ho ABerooos!

mmmm smells amazing... got lamb/beef meatballs in the oven and eggplant/onion/potato dish on the stovetop.

Lav, that's cold but it was freaking 5F here at 7am on Wed morn. egad! and I'm the first one to show up and turn on
the heater.... was running in place to try to warm up. Thankfully supposed to be warmer tomorrow and in the low 50's for the
weekend. BRB...stove....

Plumbing is fixed so happy to say. It's the simple things that really matter... like a hot shower!

Pauly, hang in there dear. are you doing anything to mitigate the holiday stressors?

PPQ, that's the idea... evening off and relax a bit.

ABCowboy, nice to see you.

Mick, are you out playing in the snow?

well, day 30 and not a craving in sight. Keeping it that way

better tend the stove again.

gnight loves

[porqoui]

Re: w/c10th

well, day 30 and not a craving in sight. Keeping it that way

:yay::sohappy::yay::sohappy:

[Mick]

Re: w/c10th

morning all.tis me ..what colours the sky on your planet today then? cant see mine yet ..well poets day today ,the start of the silly season..so here you go ...a bit of festive cheer..ho fkn ho...a brew is called for..

morning ppqp...you up early or late? see you just added to the post.what did you end up making for tea then?

hiya det 30 ...well done ..keep going mate...

hiya Lav ...icicles on the reef? yep the rain here frozeded over last night so its a bit slippy ..an understatement by understatement!!..her you go one nice warm brew ..(he hands over with an insane grin.. showing off shiny toothy pegz)

hiya sam...how are you then mate doing good ..any giigs over chrimbo..


ab ....just for you.....

When Milton Berle was on the "Muppet Show":

Statler: Hey, Berle.
Milton Berle: What?
Statler: You know what? I've just figured out your style.
Milton Berle: Really?
Waldorf: You work like Gregory Peck.
Milton Berle: Gregory Peck's not a comedian.
Waldorf: Well...
Milton Berle: Now, just a minute. I have been a successful comedian half of my life.
Waldorf: How come we got this half?

Milton Berle: Look, did you come here to be entertained or not?
Statler: That's right.
Milton Berle: What's right?
Statler: We came in here to be entertained, and we're not.

Milton Berle: I dare you both to come down here to entertain.
Waldorf: Yeah, we should.
Milton Berle: Do you sing?
Waldorf: No.
Milton Berle: Do you dance?
Statler: No.
Milton Berle: Do you get laughs?
Waldorf: No.
Milton Berle: Then what would you do?
Waldorf: Just what you're doing!

have a good one buddy

hiya pauly how are you today then?all well in hairdresser land?you got all pressies yet?


Last year I left my Christmas shopping too late and ended up getting it all done at a petrol station on Christmas morning.

I thought the limited selection would leave me in the shit but my 17-year-old daughter squealed with delight when she opened her ‘L’ plates and ran over to hug me.

I don’t know why she went out to look on the driveway though.

VEGETARIANS. Robert Plant makes an ideal alternative to Meat Loaf.




Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesperson.

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" , asked Morris.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant. They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special 'Chicken Surprise'.

The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he! sees two beady little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down.

Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.

'Well sir', says the waiter, 'What did you order?'

'We both chose the same', he replies, 'the Chicken Surprise'

'Oh I do apologise, this is my fault' says the waiter.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

'I've brought you the Peking duck'

As a trucker in Radcliffe stops for a red light, a blonde in her car pulls up along side. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Karen and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Karen, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.

The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Karen and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says:

"Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm driving a f**king gritter!"

Flight Attendants Announcements
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


On an Air NZ Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


On landing the hostess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."


"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft."


As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"


After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as f*** everything has shifted."


From a Qantas employee: "Welcome aboard Qantas Flight XXX to YYY. To Operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.


"Weather at our destination is 32 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Qantas Airlines."


"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."


"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children... or other adults acting like children."


Heard on Qantas Airlines just after a very hard landing in Hobart: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what you are all thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!"


Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: " We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."


An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying United. "He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old lady walking with a cane. She said,"Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"


After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas."


A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport. After it reached a comfortable ruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - ********! ARGHHH! OH, MY WORD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Economy said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

[Samstone]

Re: w/c10th

good morning friends,
perhaps a bit of snow in today's outlook. perhaps not.... I'm all for the knot.

thanks for the kick off this AM, Mick. yep, playing tunes just for funnies this weekend, that's what I enjoy the most!
Lav, that's a chilly pic you posted. suppose to warm next week I see. I got a group of chickens that won't go in the hen house. They go in and out during the day but roost up under the over hang, den birdbrains.
Det, keep on keeping on!!
PQ, Santa just brought me a new total station, figuring out all the bells and whistles.
Pauly, what's been going in your neck of the woods?
Waves to you AB

off to feed, then work.

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c10th

Mae everybody,Mick I was gonna comment on your avatar yesterday but I forgot,I didn't know their names just remember them from the Muppet show sitting in the balcony being grouchy when I'd watch it as a kid,my favorite was Miss Piggy and Fozzy bear Sam,everything is going ok here,Kell's gonna be ready to pop here in a few weeks and I'm a bit nervous but then I'm always nervous about something haha,glad alls well with you friend Det,excellent on 30 days,PQ,glad you'll be able to get your chrimbo done with some time off,Lav,brrr,I want chilly but nothing like that,wondering where SF has been? Pie? Much love to all and wishes for a great AF Friday!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c10th

MAE ALL...

Mick...up late, well not too late, just an hour past my regular 9pm bedtime. LOL The boys ended up going out on an errand so they brought dinner home. The cooking experiment will happen tonight.

Sam...gotta love early Christmas presents. The new theodolite will be a big help with your veying!

Pauly...didn't realize Kell was so close. Perhaps a Christmas baby?

TGIF and the chef is in today so lunch could be really good. Weather turning but nothing like some of you are going through right now. Have a Fantastic Friday all....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: w/c10th

Good evening Abbers,

Yes PQ - we STILL have your weather, haha!
It's 19 degrees here right now & we had another 2 1/2" of snow today - thanks SO much, LOL
I hope lunch was delicious

Mick, staying inside & close to the fireplace is my plan for the day. I made a big pot of vegan chili, not bad. Take care of those pearly whites now, OK?

Sam, after all these years (nearly 14) of dealing with chickens I still haven't decided if they are truly crafty & creative or just plain dumb. Basically they just do what they want to do most of the time, LOL

Det, nice work on 30 days, yay!! Keep going, you know why
Stay warm now! We are supposed to have a big warmup next week, yay!

I hope to make some progress with gift wrapping & baking this weekend - hope to anyway!
Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Determinator]

Re: w/c10th

Good eve ABerooos!

just a quick heyo as I'm winding down for bed after a good productive week.
going to be a super low-stress no-drama Chrimbo for me... no relatives or anything
going on at all which is otay by me. Yawn... tired but mellow and good.
will catch up in the morn over a hot cuppa.

gnight loves

[porqoui]

Re: w/c10th

Good eve ABerooos!

just a quick heyo as I'm winding down for bed after a good productive week.
going to be a super low-stress no-drama Chrimbo for me... no relatives or anything
going on at all which is otay by me. Yawn... tired but mellow and good.
will catch up in the morn over a hot cuppa.

gnight loves

Sounds like a satisfying work week and I bet there's a smile on your face, even if you're not aware of it, but I hear it in your post.
Chrimbo was always a stressful time for me, trying to make everything perfect and everyone happy.
I totally hear you about no stress, no drama, no relatives and it was totally OK by me too, but then the emotions would set in and I would turn to drinking to numb the pain of the "what if" thoughts that would swirl around my brain. I started watching Christmas shows, knowing that they'd depress me, but the tears I cried were sort of a release, if you know what I mean. I challenge you to make a plan for your Chrimbo! I would love it if you could get some "Cool Det" pics of winter scenes that I could use as a cover for my monthly newsletter which reaches about 4500 households. January's edition has already gone to print and February in Calgary can be pretty dreary! I would love to feature one of your photo's on the cover of February's newsletter. The newsletter is a standard 81/2 X 11, bottom 1/3 advertising space. What do ya say? Have a plan. :hug:

[Samstone]

Re: w/c10th

murning all
off to Flat Top mountain to do 10 acres of slope. This is the time of year to do these kinds of places. I have been up here before in the summer... rattlesnake haven!

Det, really am glad you seem to be in a good place.

Lav, I'm thinking of starting a chicken college for the underdeveloped chicken. roosting 101.... etc. what you think???!!

looks like I need to make them a quick exit..... waves to all!!!!

[Mick]

Re: w/c10th

Yo dudes and dudettes. ..quick jump in I'm on the mobile. .it is snowing here again but think it's going to turn to rain hope you are all well. .I will jump in later when I getback on a real puter

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c10th

Mae everybody,I guess just a quick jump in from me too wishing us all a great AF Saturday!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c10th

MAE ALL...

Mick...sounds like you're on the go again. Be safe out there.

Pauly...off to work? Hope you have a great day.

We're actually below freezing this morning but no snow. Got to restock the fridge today and finish Xmas decorating. Have a Smashing Saturday all...:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c10th

Yep PQ off to work but dreading it today for some reason aaah! Enjoy your day honey

[Mick]

Re: w/c10th

just got back home,snow is now rain temp -2 ...so there we are time for a brew ...I really fancy an egg sandwich??

Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys. A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted!"

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out of the water and bites him. To show the fish who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the Lions.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he gets attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the chimps with his spade, killing them both. 'Feed them to the lions.' He says to himself. So he hurls the corpses into the Lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the Lions cage.

Later that day a new Lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion
and says "Alright pal. What's the food like here?"

The Lion replies, "Fcking brilliant mate, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."


More favorite Statler & Waldorf quotes:

From the Debbie Harry ep.:

Waldorf: Incredible! What kind of creature would marry a gargoyle?
Statler: A gar-boy.

From the Carol Burnett ep.:

Waldorf: What's our prize if we win this dance marathon?
Statler: 3 weeks away from "The Muppet Show"!

From the Juliet Prowse ep.:

Waldorf: More! More!
Statler: Less! Less!

Waldorf: That's one of the reasons I always thought the muppets were weird. They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny. Although some of them are really quite droll.

From the Leslie Uggams ep.:

Waldorf: This show has always reminded me of a sardine.
Statler: Why?
Waldorf: It's a little fishy.


From "Muppet Treasure Island":

Statler: We're heroes! We saved the pig and the frog!
Waldorf: Well...it was too late to save the movie.


From the Garth Brooks ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: What would you do if you we're a rich man?
Waldorf: I would buy the network and cancel this show.

Statler: Shakespeare would've hated that!
Waldorf: You should know. You dated his sister!
Statler: Boy, was she ugly.

From the Cindy Crawford ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: This show is off to a fast start.
Waldorf: Good. Maybe it'll end sooner.

From the Whoopi Goldberg ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Waldorf: Same as it ever was.
Statler: Same as it ever was.
Both: Terrible!

From the John Goodman ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: There's nothing like good old comedy.
Waldorf: Nothing like it on this show!

From the Jason Alexander ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: That number was a real show-stopper.
Waldorf: Too bad it didn't stop this show.

From the Tony Bennett ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: What's that song that Tony Bennett always sings?
Waldorf: "I Left My Heart in San Francisco".
Statler: Big deal. I left my teeth in Minneapolis.


From "Muppet-Vision 3D":

Statler: Hey, look! Look at the guy in the Goofy mask!
Waldorf: That's not a mask.
Statler: Oh. Sorry, lady.

Statler: Oh, Waldorf, it's that dumb bear again!
Waldorf: Yeah. Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3D!

Waldorf: We entered a contest.
Statler: Yeah! We lost!

Statler: This is a very moving moment.
Waldorf: Yeah. I wish they'd move it to Pittsburgh.

Statler: Ooh! Aah! Oh!
Waldorf: Enjoying the fireworks?
Statler: No! Your chair is on my foot!

Waldorf: Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?
Statler: We can't, you old fool! We're bolted to the seats!