yo dudes and dudettes.........how are we all ...all good I hope ..that is apart from det ..
rabbitz is oot playing and itsnot raing ...cases are packed ..couple of bits to go in then the crane can lift em on to the plane ....jeez ... ok lets have a brew ..
det what happened this time man ? thought you were getting it together and bam you let it go down the tubes ..the words no I aint fkn drinkin are pretty powerful when you are tempted but you cant say them at the same time you are chuckin beer down your neck...dont quit quitting but you need to get it together mate the depression creates ..and the drinking creates so they feed off each other....the optional choice aint too clever ...everyone here is rootin for you ..its up to you to do your bit..I appreciate you have had some pretty crap times in your life ,but a good few of us on here have too mate ...from all angles..drink blots fk all out..it numbs it for a while thats all..come on man get it together you CAN do it just believe in yourself and dont be weak when it comes to the crunch ...did you go out and buy the booze or were you given it? its so frustrating knowing you can do this but dont ..so go on prove you can buddy.
hiya ppqp ...thanks to you I know how to close a fred!!nope that wisnt me ..even with no glasses on thats miles away that button ...Hows you then today? any happier ? hope so...
hiya lav....hope luigi had a decent book!!!!look whats here..........
compression-spring.jpg
Im not too keen on some of the oriental lillies ...they somewhat smell and the stamens stain when they drop...brew time...like you Im waiting for the good weather..
pie the midnight oil burner ...hows you then ? 2 sales on the go ...well done to you ...extra loot is always welcome ...hows the dogs? and where are we going for brunch.........
pauly hiya girl where are you?
hiya sk ..all ok with you ..
big shout to the rest of the wureld...
A California Highway Patrol Officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day, he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred", the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name"?
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know it's a funny last name, but kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I'm just Fred".
The officer walked away in tears from laughing so hard and tore up the ticket.
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally".
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armotred car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty-thousand dollars!
Andy said, "We've got to give it back".
Sally said, "Finders keepers". She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI agents were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday"?
Sally said, "No".
Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic".
Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile".
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning".
Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."
The other FBI agent turns to her partner and says, "We're outta here".
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking"?
"Just water", says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine"?
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again"!
The prostate doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he noticed there were 3 items on a stand next to the prostate doctor's desk.
1. A tube of K-Y jelly
2. A rubber glove
3. A beer
When the prostate doctor finally came in, the man said "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y Jelly is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that the prostate doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
The prostate doctor flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Dammit, I said A BUTT LIGHT"!
Little Johnny goes with his Mum to a beauty salon and sits next to her while the therapist starts her treatment.
As the beauty therapist smothers cream over the mothers face little Johnny watches closely, fascinated by the actions.
"What's the lady doing mummy" little Johnny asks?
"The lady is making me beautiful" replies his Mum.
The therapist then starts to remove the cream with cotton wool.
Little Johnny suddenly calls out "what's the matter Mum is she giving up"?
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.
"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself".
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago".
"And what about the third rose" she asked?
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears".
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. Mainly have your air filters cleaned or replaced.
I hope this helps with your problem.
Walter
rabbitz is oot playing and itsnot raing ...cases are packed ..couple of bits to go in then the crane can lift em on to the plane ....jeez ... ok lets have a brew ..
det what happened this time man ? thought you were getting it together and bam you let it go down the tubes ..the words no I aint fkn drinkin are pretty powerful when you are tempted but you cant say them at the same time you are chuckin beer down your neck...dont quit quitting but you need to get it together mate the depression creates ..and the drinking creates so they feed off each other....the optional choice aint too clever ...everyone here is rootin for you ..its up to you to do your bit..I appreciate you have had some pretty crap times in your life ,but a good few of us on here have too mate ...from all angles..drink blots fk all out..it numbs it for a while thats all..come on man get it together you CAN do it just believe in yourself and dont be weak when it comes to the crunch ...did you go out and buy the booze or were you given it? its so frustrating knowing you can do this but dont ..so go on prove you can buddy.
hiya ppqp ...thanks to you I know how to close a fred!!nope that wisnt me ..even with no glasses on thats miles away that button ...Hows you then today? any happier ? hope so...
hiya lav....hope luigi had a decent book!!!!look whats here..........
compression-spring.jpg
Im not too keen on some of the oriental lillies ...they somewhat smell and the stamens stain when they drop...brew time...like you Im waiting for the good weather..
pie the midnight oil burner ...hows you then ? 2 sales on the go ...well done to you ...extra loot is always welcome ...hows the dogs? and where are we going for brunch.........
pauly hiya girl where are you?
hiya sk ..all ok with you ..
big shout to the rest of the wureld...
A California Highway Patrol Officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day, he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred", the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name"?
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know it's a funny last name, but kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I'm just Fred".
The officer walked away in tears from laughing so hard and tore up the ticket.
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally".
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armotred car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty-thousand dollars!
Andy said, "We've got to give it back".
Sally said, "Finders keepers". She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI agents were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday"?
Sally said, "No".
Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic".
Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile".
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning".
Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."
The other FBI agent turns to her partner and says, "We're outta here".
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking"?
"Just water", says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine"?
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again"!
The prostate doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he noticed there were 3 items on a stand next to the prostate doctor's desk.
1. A tube of K-Y jelly
2. A rubber glove
3. A beer
When the prostate doctor finally came in, the man said "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y Jelly is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that the prostate doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
The prostate doctor flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Dammit, I said A BUTT LIGHT"!
Little Johnny goes with his Mum to a beauty salon and sits next to her while the therapist starts her treatment.
As the beauty therapist smothers cream over the mothers face little Johnny watches closely, fascinated by the actions.
"What's the lady doing mummy" little Johnny asks?
"The lady is making me beautiful" replies his Mum.
The therapist then starts to remove the cream with cotton wool.
Little Johnny suddenly calls out "what's the matter Mum is she giving up"?
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.
"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself".
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago".
"And what about the third rose" she asked?
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears".
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. Mainly have your air filters cleaned or replaced.
I hope this helps with your problem.
Walter
Comment