Re: w/c 11th
morning all ...how are we today then? hope all is well...not a lot happening here at the moment ..dentist on monday,...car garage thursday ..so my social calendar is jam packed!!just how I like it ..weather isnt too good this morning ..between the rain and the cold ,I reckon we are probably about 6 weeks behind in growing terms!
so brew time then...
hiya Lav...wow onions and garlic..you are doing good ...I think I will be doing a lot of growing in the greenhouse or shall we say the rabbits summerhouse!Those butterflies looked really good ...there is a market for them I would guess ..as for Amy ...my feeling is she will go back up north ..if a vacancy comes up ...there is a lot more up there for her .whats your weather like over there?
hiya det ...so how did you manage to get that vid from your phone onto this site? explain to me in baby words....glad you are enjoying the drumming
hiya pauly hows you then ...didnt realise you had ditched messenger.hows you today then? are you good ..hows the sleep doing ?is it ok now?
hiya ppqp...yep usually in the garden at this time ...but aint hapnin.Is the hard drive for your own machine or the one at work?when I was younger I read asll the Perry Mason lawyer books..they were pretty good.
hello everyone else ..how are you all ?jump in a quick hia Im ok is fine ...
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of a parochial school in a very advanced state of agitation.
"Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this"!
The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, "Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited"?
"Well, Father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money"!
"A serious infraction, indeed" said the priest!
"But that's not what has me so shocked, Father", replied the nun, "it was what they were wagering on! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall"!
"What an incredible wager" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do"?
"Well, I hit the roof, father".
To which the priest replied.... "How much did you win"?
It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life.
There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool"!
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet"!
Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me"!
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance".
The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain..... but either let me have a bigger arse or smaller eggs".
How Many of These put a Smile on your Face?
I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'
I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'
I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.
I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'
I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened.. I said 'I careered off the road'
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'
I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'.
A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die'.
St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green.
Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lily pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole.
Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf"? he asks "Or are you just gonna fck around"?
morning all ...how are we today then? hope all is well...not a lot happening here at the moment ..dentist on monday,...car garage thursday ..so my social calendar is jam packed!!just how I like it ..weather isnt too good this morning ..between the rain and the cold ,I reckon we are probably about 6 weeks behind in growing terms!
so brew time then...
hiya Lav...wow onions and garlic..you are doing good ...I think I will be doing a lot of growing in the greenhouse or shall we say the rabbits summerhouse!Those butterflies looked really good ...there is a market for them I would guess ..as for Amy ...my feeling is she will go back up north ..if a vacancy comes up ...there is a lot more up there for her .whats your weather like over there?
hiya det ...so how did you manage to get that vid from your phone onto this site? explain to me in baby words....glad you are enjoying the drumming
hiya pauly hows you then ...didnt realise you had ditched messenger.hows you today then? are you good ..hows the sleep doing ?is it ok now?
hiya ppqp...yep usually in the garden at this time ...but aint hapnin.Is the hard drive for your own machine or the one at work?when I was younger I read asll the Perry Mason lawyer books..they were pretty good.
hello everyone else ..how are you all ?jump in a quick hia Im ok is fine ...
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of a parochial school in a very advanced state of agitation.
"Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this"!
The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, "Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited"?
"Well, Father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money"!
"A serious infraction, indeed" said the priest!
"But that's not what has me so shocked, Father", replied the nun, "it was what they were wagering on! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall"!
"What an incredible wager" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do"?
"Well, I hit the roof, father".
To which the priest replied.... "How much did you win"?
It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life.
There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool"!
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet"!
Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me"!
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance".
The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain..... but either let me have a bigger arse or smaller eggs".
How Many of These put a Smile on your Face?
I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'
I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'
I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.
I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'
I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened.. I said 'I careered off the road'
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'
I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'.
A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die'.
St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green.
Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lily pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole.
Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf"? he asks "Or are you just gonna fck around"?
PQ,I'll be sure to share if I ever find the cure haha,last night was homemade pizza and i made a bbq chicken one for hubs with bbq sauce,chicken,cheese,tomatoes and green onion,after I had a piece I remembered I forgot the bacon bits that are supposed to go on,it was still good tho
much love to all and wishes for a great BF Friday!
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