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    #46
    Re: April Acceptance

    Another thought on families. I'm sorry about the grandson's birthday party. Obviously she has an imbalance somewhere.

    Families can always surprise us no matter how well we think we know them. I am one of 4 and when my mother died 25 years ago, my older brother was drunk on the day of my arrival and became a nightmare. When we got to the car to spend the night at his house he snatched the keys from his wife and took us on a ide from hell. I was in the backseat with my niece and begged him to let me out. Nope. When we arrived at his house he took my luggage and threw it across the road.

    My father was so grief stricken my bother tried to take advantage of that and sneak something out of the apt. each time. He also paid the semi annual taxes on my parent's cottage and then tried to claim it as his. Every story my sister told me made me more incredulous, until I realized other families encounter the same behaviour. We haven't spoken since. I don't know if I told this story but my aunt and her husband attended my grandmother's funeral and as they were running/walking to the train to return home, he collapsed and died. His suitcases were filled with silver, etc. from my grandmother's house and each weighed a ton.

    As painful as it is Lav, we have these uninvited burdens regarding access to our grandchildren, whom we only want to love and spend time with. I think your son does what he can. I can only assume DIL has control issues like DD.

    Fish, spinach and little potatoes for dinner.
    Last edited by SKendall; April 8, 2018, 02:36 PM.
    Enlightened by MWO

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      #47
      Re: April Acceptance

      Evening all!

      Wow. What interesting stories of family and life. It is so rich and varied and wonderful to encounter everyone's stories here...

      SK - those stories should be in the record book. Grief, and a lifetime of nursing hurts and anger really make people nutty when there is a death. I am just glad that there's was no accident when ina car with a drunk driver, holy moley. LOVE the mental image of that squirrel!

      Lav, you have been through it and each show us the way. Thank you.

      Star, so happy that you were looking forward to good times with family today. I just love that your husband is so family-oriented... such a rare quality in modern men, I think it's great.

      Pauly, so glad that you are having time with the boys - how funny that Romeo is getting big so fast! The time flies.

      I worked again with my move client today -- she is a workhorse! I just love her - she feels things so deeply, is not afraid to cry, is a mess about leaving this house which she and her husband built, but also looking forward to living in an area closer to people... it is a real privilege for me to assist people who are going through these transitions. Filled with gratitude this evening.

      Sending big warm spring light to all - let's fill up ourselves up with the happiness that Spring will get here eventually!

      Comment


        #48
        Re: April Acceptance

        Good evening friends, it's my turn

        Well, son & grandson were a no show again today. I am choosing to not get pissed off even though I'm having a strong urge, ha ha!!!
        Will knows I have a gift sitting here waiting for him, I hope he pesters the sh*t out of his father about it this week

        Star, I like to get in touch with folks individually when I can, why not? We all have similar interests & know each other better than most family members these days!
        I hope your brunch was fun & joyful today!
        I need to get my pillow packed up & a shipping label printed tonight for the new baby in the family

        Pauly, donate those too small diapers. That's what I did when my grandkids outgrew them. Someone will be happy to get them.
        My son was 8 lbs 3 oz when he was born & by the time we got him to church to be baptized he had grown out of the little outfit I had readied for him. ha ha! These kids grow so fast, just like my baby chickens!!!

        SK, you & I definitely have some young women with issues to deal with, don't we? I put myself in a bad mood this afternoon allowing myself to think about my DIL & how life would be so much kinder if she would just pull her head out of her butt. Then I remembered I was just wasting time & head space with that!!!
        Check on FB messenger for a link I sent you about using Vitality essential oils to help calm dogs - interesting.
        Sorry but I had to laugh at your story about the thief dropping dead stealing the silver, ha ha!! Sometimes you really do get what you deserve - Instant Karma

        Cyn, you worked all weekend but are you going to take a day off for you? I sure hope so!
        I think I have been slowly but surely detaching myself from my 'stuff'. I put more value on the people in my life, especially the ones that made good memories. My kids do not want the stuff I inherited from my parents or my stuff either so I guess it's all going to a yard sale or the dump or something.
        Nice that you help your clients with their transitions.

        I've been trying to ignore talk of more snow this week & wind chills. That's just plain insane for April around these parts!
        Have a nice night everyone!

        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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          #49
          Re: April Acceptance

          Good morning...

          Lav, sorry your son and grandson were a no show. That hurts. I was thinking about what you were saying about our stuff, and I feel the same. Nothing I have is something anyone else would want. I just want comfortable furniture and to regularly get rid of any clutter I have accumulated. When we moved here I had to purchase pieces of furniture to fit the new house, but have finished for the most part. New couch, but the old one is wearing out. I also decluttered when we moved, so that was a good thing.

          Skendall, proud of you for sticking to your no sugar commitment. It's hard. I am trying again this week to stick to a sensible eating plan, with the birthdays and holiday, I ate lots of junk.

          Pauly, glad you are feeling better and can have the grandsons over, it is a different experience with two of them. We went to the mall after our brunch, and I was able to take both grandsons on a little train through the mall, the little guy for the first time. He loved it, it was fun.

          Cyn, glad you had a good weekend, hope you are continuing to feel better. We had a fun brunch, the food turned out great, then my daughter brought cake and ice cream. Still cold today but temps are supposed to start going higher on Wednesday and get in the 70s by Friday, I hope this is true, with sunshine too. I would love that.

          Have a great AF Monday.

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            #50
            Re: April Acceptance

            Morning friends,sounds like the weekend went ok for us Lav,I'm sorry you thought yourself into a bad mood over your daughter in laws b.s but honestly I would have a very hard time too,especially when we love our grandbabies sooooo much! Waves to Star,Cyn and SK wishes for a great AF Monday
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment


              #51
              Re: April Acceptance

              Hello, everyone.

              Cyn, how great that you can really enjoy a client and work along with her.

              I had an appt @10.30 with spinal surgeon and I saw him at 1:00 pm! The nurse didn't have a copy of my myleogram so she called the hospital. They had no info on me. There are 3 hospital in this medical area. She kept coming back asking more dumb questions. This doctor only does myleograms at one of them so pursue it there. She said it was up to me to get the cd of the procedure and I told her that when an appt is made for a follow up of tests she should have the results, she had results of one of the tests and my bone density is good. She called me silly, etc. etc. We finally got them and they were so much worse than both myself and the dr. thought. My stenosis is now at a severe level and discs 1 and 4 are compressed on the nerves., I've already had 2 and 3 fixed with the implant. He also said the stenosis is going up my spine. We are going to start with injections, but I believe it will end in spine surgery. I will have to hire professional help and board Peggy. We went through the positions where my pain is the worst and he was very surprised I do what I do. I got some TYL 4 which may help, along with muscle relaxers. Dr. apologized on behalf of nurse.

              Pauly, you are zipping right along in sobriety. I love your stories about g/sons.

              Who doesn't love a ride on a train at the mall? That was a wonderful experience.

              Lav, did you get my msg?
              Last edited by SKendall; April 9, 2018, 04:14 PM.
              Enlightened by MWO

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                #52
                Re: April Acceptance

                Evening all,

                SK, SO sorry for your news at the doc, and that you have to deal with all of this. Sheesh, I'm sure all that news is a blow to you. Good job sticking with the no sugar; maybe it has helped you do as much as you do. Sending lots of support.

                Lav, congrats on steering away from those non-useful thoughts. That takes an iron will, for sure! It's so easy to fall into feeling bad - about oneself, a situation, someone else, whatever it is. You reclaimed yourself for yourself! Yes, I will be working straight through until Thursday, then going to NYC for the night and then flying out Friday for the Saturday FL wedding and back on Sunday. so I will get some time off. I think I would prefer to just have an evening off once in a while, but this is how it worked out, so... it has to be OK!

                Star, I have a great mental image of you and those baby boys having a good train ride at the mall. - love it! So glad you are filling your life with family and happiness.

                Pauly, you are speeding along and doing well - that's great. Has Louie gotten used to being a big brother yet? I bet he is so happy in his time with you, a special relationship ---

                I am feeling a little out of sorts, probably because my life is a little out of balance... this too shall pass. I put on some lovely essential oil hand lotion, and that was a great pick-me-up. Whatever it takes, right?

                Let's create our future in this moment:
                "Wonderful things are coming into my life" Say it, see it, believe it! Wishing all a good night ---

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                  #53
                  Re: April Acceptance

                  Good evening friends,

                  Just thought I'd mention that it's snowing here on April 9th
                  This is utterly ridiculous. It's not accumulating or anything but it's been cold & damp all day.
                  I apparently got some things off my mind while I was sleeping last night, ha ha! My oldest grandson is only 9 but in my dream he was older & about to begin driving. I asked him where was the first place he was going to drive & he said here to my house to see me ha ha!!!!

                  Star, glad your weekend gathering was good! Those are the ones that make lasting memories.
                  I know that I have to watch my thinking & stay in control or I will end up doing or saying something that won't help. If my DIL feels entitled to abuse us it's all on her because we did not do anything to deserve being dismissed. Someday she will realize this too!

                  Pauly, I get mad but I get glad again
                  I hope you enjoy your little guys this week!

                  SK, I did get your message & responded before I read your post here. I am sorry you got such a report from the doc!
                  Please don't jump into anything surgery-wise too quickly, you already know how tough it can be. That kind of procedure & the healing time required will take a lot of planning for things to go smoothly. I hope your pain med & muscle relaxant help in the mean time :hug:

                  Cyn, I hear you on feeling out of balance, it's quite unsettling. I promised myself a long time ago that I will never let things get that out of hand for me again. Boy, anyone who messes with my boundaries is in for a hard time where I'm concerned. My years of people pleasing really messed me up so I won't go there again.
                  You are smart & thoughtful with everyone - don't forget to include yourself on your list of things to do

                  The GOOD news is that the temp is going up to 80 on Saturday!!!! Can you believe that?? Crazy!
                  Have a nice night one & all.

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Re: April Acceptance

                    Good morning...

                    Lav, it is supposed to warm up here too, starting on Wednesday, in the 50s, then in the 70s Thursday and Friday, yay!!!! We need it. It was raw, damp, and snowed without sticking on the ground, nasty. I loved your dream, your grandsons love you, very sad there mother is so mean and hateful. It has to be hard on your son too. I got my 60 day coin yesterday at a meeting, it was very meaningful to me. I have been AF for much longer periods, but this time is different, as I have decided it is different and have committed to sobriety in a public forum, a huge step for me. I am willing to do whatever it takes, and no matter what, I DON"T DRINK.

                    Skendall, so sorry to hear the back news, please be careful. Just the way the staff treated you gives me cause for concern. I hope the medications help to make your life more manageable.

                    Pauly, hello to you and hope things are going well.

                    Cyn, hey, sorry you are having a hard time, it will nice to get out of town, go to a wedding, get a change of scene. I would love to have a trip planned, something to look forward to. I hope the warmer weather comes your way, we all need spring. I love essential oils, good smells, soft lotion, and you are right whatever it takes. Being good to ourselves in little things can go a long way. I spent time with an exercise friend yesterday, lunch and shopping around. I did not buy anything, but it was good to spend time with a nice friend. Today, exercise, meeting, then picking up my grandson, so another busy day. AF of course and it makes all the difference.

                    Have a good one.

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                      #55
                      Re: April Acceptance

                      Morning friends,Star you sound great! Congrats on the 60 day chip I still have a 24 hour chip I got a few years ago,for some reason can't throw it away,,SK,so sorry about all that went on at the docs yesterday,I was hoping for better news Cyn,how's the rosacea doing?Lav,hopefully you'll be able to see the boys on the weekend or something,I wonder what they think about this situation poor kids allergies are in full swing here in Vegas,ugh I'm so stuffed up! Wishes for a positive AF Tuesday
                      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                      Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Re: April Acceptance

                        Hello everyone.

                        Up tp 69 deg.

                        Star, 60 days! You are sounding wonderful and I really do feel it's different for you this time.

                        Cyn, allow enough time for yourself. I want o soak in my epsom salts and lavender more. Just getting out seems a hassle.

                        Lav. I hear you on the surgery. I downloaded my dr's CV and it is impressive and a full star rating. To repair the discs from auto accident I chose the superion method. That doc gad to go back to school, etc. to learn it and is one of a handful of surgeons in the country but the recovery was very quick and aside from lifting, I was good to go at 2 wks.
                        A lamanectomy is long and painful with about 9 months of recovery. I didn't go back to original dr b/cause when the pain started again he blew me off. But if he's the only game in town for the superion, I will go back to him. Living alone is not good with such a long recovery.
                        Enlightened by MWO

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                          #57
                          Re: April Acceptance

                          Good evening friends,

                          Glad to report my son whizzed by with the boys after school today. They were here not quite an hour but better than nothing. Tuesday is one of the nights my DIL teaches so I guess they felt free to stop by. Grandson was happy with his gifts, I quietly slipped a $10 into the hand of the non-birthday kid (I always do)

                          Star, CONGRATS on your 60 AF days! Wonderful work, remember the feeling!
                          I agree the time is right when we decide it's right. Nothing is going to stop me now & the same with you
                          We had sun, no snow today but the temp is in the 40's with a wind chill, Brrrr
                          I hope your day went well as planned.

                          Pauly, allergies are here too even though nothing is blooming yet because of the cold. Why can't we get a break? I bought a box of Claritin instant dissolve tablets, they are doing nothing. I guess we just have to accept being congested, yuck.

                          SK, a laminectomy never really helps anyone. So many patients I've seen over the years leaving the hospital just as miserable as when they went in. YB's brothers both had several back surgeries, one had a fusion - he never recovered to any extent. We are fortunate in this area to have access to the Rothman Institute at the University Of Pennsylvania. They would be the only surgeons allowed to touch my neck or back. You definitely want someone with the newest skills & a good reputation.
                          I hope you are finding some relief with your pain meds for now.

                          Nothing real exciting here, just doing some stitching & trying out new designs for pillows.

                          Cyn, I hope you are well!

                          Have a nice night everyone!

                          Lav
                          AF since 03/26/09
                          NF since 05/19/09
                          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                          Comment


                            #58
                            Re: April Acceptance

                            Good morning all...

                            Up bright and early today, looking forward to some warmer weather, it has been so cold,snowy and dreary. The grandson spent the night and his mother will come to pick him up today, so I am making lunch and we will have a fun time. They come early so I am not sure if it will be warm out or what. We have a little park in our neighborhood, so that would be fun to go, we'll have to see.

                            Lav, great the boys stopped by and saw their grandma, received presents, and all is good. Hope that warmer weather is coming your way. I am so happy to be AF, each day is building on the previous one, I have these great supports and I love the meetings. People there are sincere and talk about real intense life issues, I need that. Everyone is not perfect, I am sure not either. It is what I needed and I am grateful I took the risk at my lowest.

                            Skendall, glad you are researching all the doctors and surgeries, it must be awful to be in such pain. LIfe really sends us challenges, it is hard to know what is the best thing to do sometimes.

                            Pauly, cool you have your 24 hour token, I am keeping mine in a special place. I am willing to do whatever it takes. This time is different because I just can't do it anymore. I am learning to deal with my restlessness, irritability and discontent in new ways, those feelings always pass and for me they are part of life. Drinking makes everything worse, never better.

                            Hello to Cyn, have a good day.

                            Let's get through this hump day with joy and peace.

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                              #59
                              Re: April Acceptance

                              Morning friends,Star,glad you had a nice time with your grandson sleeping over,you sound good Lav,glad you got to see the boys! Tired and still waking up here so waves to Cyn and SK,let's have a great AF Wednesday
                              I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                              I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                              Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Re: April Acceptance

                                Morning all --

                                I was worn out yesterday after working with 2 different clients. Got home and pretty much just went to bed. I guess I needed that. Working on figuring out my two very different jobs... not sure I can handle it long-term, I'll see how it goes. Maybe some time away this weekend wil give me some perspective.

                                Lav, loved the dream about the grandson. And such good news that the boys got over to see you -- such a good grandma!

                                Star, congrats on the 60 days - wonderful! And great to hear that you have a friend to hang out with...

                                Pauly, so sorry about the allergies - I remember that flying dust from the desert... good luck! Rosacea is almost all healed and will stay gone, if I eat the right foods... not much variety, but OK for now, thanks for asking. Take care of yourself!

                                SK, gosh I hope that it works out to have the less invasive procedure! You are right, living alone and having responsibilities for a pet is a really tough situation all on its own, much less dealing with pain and thinking about physical recovery. Sending you lots of white light today!

                                Well, sunny today and maybe a little warmer. Hooray, the snow yesterday was pretty disconcerting.

                                "I am fulfilled and grateful"

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