w/c 22nd

[porqoui]

MAE ALL...

Just kicking the thread off as Mick is out detecting this morning. Going to get the coffee started so will be back soon.....:smile:PPQP

OK...brews all around.

Det...sounds like the sale was a huge success. Are you at it again today or was it just Saturday? Hope you made enough to cover your truck expenses. When do you head to Vegas? Temps are on the rise here as well. Finally!

Lav...I'm hoping this is the real thing too, but we have been known to have snowstorms on the May 24th long weekend so nothing's definite. Hope you enjoy your day with the kids/gkids and it's never too early to BBQ.

Going to spend some time outdoors this morning and then an impromptu bridge game this afternoon. Can't think of a better way to enjoy Sunday. Have a good one all....:smile:PPQP

[Pie]

Re: w/c 22nd

Appreciate the kick-off, PQ!

Before we completely pack up our winter clothes, let's give this Swiss brunch spot a try. Might be a nice break for the allergy sufferers among us.

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 22nd

Very nice Pi...I have time before bridge.

[Samstone]

Re: w/c 22nd

Pi,
meet at 8????

[Pie]

Re: w/c 22nd

Pi,
meet at 8????

Sure! You'll bring along a fiddle won't you, Sam?

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 22nd

Evening greetings Abbers!

Yes, we did have a nice day with family & sunshine & grilled burgers, etc - perfect!

PQ, thanks for the kick off today & I am seriously hoping there is no snow on May 24th, for the love of God, ha ha! I can't even imagine something like that!!!

Pie, I was actually in Switzerland in April back in '95. There was no snow on the ground where we were but you didn't have to look too far to see some
I like the blankets on the backs of the chairs - very classy

Hi there Sam, what's happening?

Hello to Mick the detector, Pauly & anyone else stopping by tonight.
Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

Lav

[Samstone]

Re: w/c 22nd

hey Lav
doing all right, workin and playin. how about you? Last month of working at the Soil & Water, got lots of surveying for the summer anyway. looking forward to getting some things done around here. Selling calves tomorrow.

how's you doing?

[Mick]

Re: w/c 22nd

Morning all. .how are we doing today then? All well Ihope as you can see I am on my phone..we ate having problems with the Internet this morning. .pay off the joys of living rural I suppose. .it's to do with the booster in the cable apparently. .how tech is me then��.raining here and blowing a hooley. Thank good got stuff done in the garden. Hope you agree all well. .didn't find much detecting yustaday. ..will try puter after

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 22nd

Mae everybody,PQ thanks for the kick of yesterday,I was waiting for the thread but then took off to do my usual Sunday stuff and figured I'd just post today so here I am Det,glad the sale was a success! Mick hope you get your internet sorted,,bunnies ok? Bought some tomato plants yesterday,see how they do,much love to all and wishes for a fab BF Monday

[Determinator]

Re: w/c 22nd

exhausted greetings ABerooos!

Sunday was also good and move a bunch more crapola. now to throw away and clean. Departing this Thur to take a load of gear,
then back Sat, then back to Vegas with trailer sunday. the whirlwind continues!

Pie, lovely place you've found. yummy?

Sam, good to see you

Mick, Dynamo is an amazing magician! watching all his vids.

well, off to deliver boat and get truck fixed. be well loves

[Mick]

Re: w/c 22nd

yoo hoo Im here its fixed ..for the time being ...man with the van has been and fixed the booster in the booster box ..and the thingummy jig !it is pouring down with rain like mad!and yes a wind blowing with it too..bunnies are fine ,both snuggled up in the hutch.
Sam how did you get on sellin calves ? thighs and legz to follow?

hiya Lav how are you then ...grilled burglars?excellent we had the same on Saturday..tho tonight wont be a salad.

hi ppqp .hope you are well today hows work?and the pseudo boss and the unco-ordinated co-ordinator? ha ha ...have a good day whatever tho x

hiya det you ok? hope so ..glad the sale went ok ...

hiya pie hope you are ok too..

f only I could convert all

my mouse scrolling into

a usable form of energy,

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I got a problem. My stomach is killing me"!

"The doctor says, "Well, let's start with your diet. What kind of food do you eat"?

Man says, "I eat snooker balls." "Snooker Balls?" the Doc asks "What do you mean you eat snooker balls"?

The man replies, "I eat the red ones for breakfast. I eat the white and black ones for lunch. I eat the blue and yellow ones for dinner".

The doctor ponders this and nods his head saying, "Mmm-hmm, yes, I see. Well I think I know what your problem is".

The man says, "Really"?

"Yep" says the doctor, "Not enough greens"!

I just got off the phone to Sea World... My call was recorded for training porpoises.

I think our new pet Rabbit must be vicious... The wife said when she brings it home I'm going to have to make a run for it

Just had a good tip 4 the grand national... A horse called creosote..! Goes really wel over fences...!!

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic... It's syncing now.

When chemists die... They barium.

Jokes about German sausage... Are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid... He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went... Then it dawned on me.

A girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns... It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Aussie Humour

There hewas sittin watching the Footy Match Of The Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says "Fancy a bonk babe"?

He said, "Can you wait until the football is over"?

She said, "You do realize that you can record it"?

He said, "Nice one, you get the camcorder and I'll be upstairs as soon as the footy finishes"

Finally, the true story as told by Hillary Clinton to world leaders……

Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when,at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice.

The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.

The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this wasthe best they could do on such short notice.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief Of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef.

The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny.

By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom.

Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse.

By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn’t remember which door led to the bathroom.

He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened.

As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky’s office with his trousers around his knees.

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice,


"Sack my cook".


And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred...

A patient in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release.

When asked what he would do if released, he replied, "I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place." Obviously, his release was denied.

Six months later, the board was again considering his release and again asked him the same question. His reply was the same. "I am going to make a sling shot and come back here and break every damn window in the place". Again, he was turned down.

Several months later he was complaining to a fellow patient that he could never seem to get released. The patient asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and he told him. The patient said, "You will never get released with answers like that. You have to tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions."

So, after considerable coaching, the man felt that he was ready.

So when the board met again, they again asked him what he would do if they let him out. But this time he was ready.

He said, "I am going to get a job, find an apartment and settle down."

"Good," they said, and then what?"

He said, "I want to meet a nice girl and start dating."

They agreed he was making real progress and asked, "And then what"?

"One night when we are alone in my apartment, I am going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, and then take her bra off and lie her down on the bed."

"Yes?, they said excitedly.

"Then I am going to gently remove her panties," he continued.

The board members were really getting excited now and asked, "Then what are you going to do?"

He said, "I am going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in this place!!!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 22nd

MAE ALL...

Lav...it's been awhile since a May 24th snow storm but with the crazy weather we've had who knows. We're supposed to hit 73F tomorrow but wait for it 35F and snow next Monday.

Sam...good to hear you've plenty of surveying for the summer. Hope it's not in the mountains. Did you get your calves sold?

Pauly...good luck with your tomato plants. Make sure you plant them up to the first leaves, they really like to feel secured.

Det...glad to hear round 2 was also good. Hope the fix for the truck wasn't too painful. You'll still be checking in with us before you head out on Thursday, right?

Mick...gotta love that man with a van. Geese day 2 of rain and wind. Glad the bunnies are safe and sound. Is this typical for your spring. Boss is staying out of my way and uncoord absence has been bliss. Was informed this morning that the new Building Superintendent quit, his last day is next Tuesday. Told the boss I'd be taking my 5 weeks holidays starting the following Wednesday. LOL

I'll be joining the group and BBQ'ing burgers tonight. Got to get them in when you can! Off to read Mick's jokes. Shout out to anyone else stopping in tonight....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 22nd

Greetings Abbers,

Yes we sure did have another nice day, yay! Got my hummingbird garden planted & some things sorted out in the chicken house for the little ones so they're happy too.
I have been called to pick up grandsons the next day or two & bring them here after school. Guess I'll have to hit the supermarket & stock up first.

Sam, you sound pretty busy, hope the survey work continues to go well.
I have 12 youngsters out in the chicken house, they're about 9 weeks old now. They will join the 6 adults soon. We just enlarged the fenced yard for the chickens so the nasty fix doesn't steal any more this year, ugh.

Mick, living out in the country sometimes has it's drawbacks like limited power, cable, etc. Today all of the farmers decided to get the fertilizer out on the fields so it' spretty stinky here, ha ha! Glad you got your internet back.

Pauly, keep your tomatoes well hydrated in that desert heat

Det, I'm really glad your sale went so well. You sound like a guy with a plan & that's awesome. Be careful out on the road!

PQ, we're only getting some rain moving in for the next day or two. Sorry about your snow forecast, maybe it will go somewhere else.

Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Determinator]

Re: w/c 22nd

Oy ABers!

dead tired and so sore.... owie. started the day yawning and going downhill from there in terms of energy. early night for me.

yep, I'll be in touch til blastoff this Thur. then back Sat to pick up the trailer, then back to Vegas yet again. egad!

me thinks it's nap time.

be well loves

[Mick]

Re: w/c 22nd

morning all how are we today then/ hope all is well with you ...back to the semi sunshine today,its supposed to rain but we will see what happens...so lets have a brew first then ...

hiya det ...how are you today?so are you sorted for going to vegas? does pauly know that you are parking the trailer up in her yard.?hope you get your energy back!

hiya lav ....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm there you are my contribution to your hummingbird garden.so you have got the grandsons to eat you out of house and home..so what are they into now toy wise?
and yes the countryside or rural poses its own probs ...would I live in citysville again ? nope not a chance

hiya ppqp ...hows you then today? sounds like your temps are pretty good...no this isnt typical for us ...last saturday was the hottest on record for 70 years..your work sounds like it was yonks ago ..you wearing lots of hats!..dont forget me time.

hiya pauly hows you then?hope all is well with you ..hows the tommy plants doing ? as ppqp says plant them up to just below the first leaves,...make sure tho,when you water them ..dont get the leaves wet.

hiya sam ,pie ,tt and everyone ,hope all is well in your lives..

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human Beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.

Little Johnny raises his hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered'.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked little Johnny to describe the incident.

'Well', he began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard'!

'That must've been scary', said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said little Johnny. 'My kitty raised his back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before he could say "Shit", the Rottweiler ate him'!


You Know You're from Canada when .............


* You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

* You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

* Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

* You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

* You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

* The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

* You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

* You find -40C a little chilly.

* The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

* You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.

* You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

Little Johnny blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping centre.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store... He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it..

Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge, A diarrhoea run.

She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.

The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the 'thing'.

Finally, he takes out his pen and touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc. "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right" she asks?

He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart"!

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
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For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.
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