w/c 29th

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 29th

MAE ALL...

Checking in before you send the search party out! I didn't have a very good outcome with the financial adviser so now I'm looking at bankruptcy. Just really bummed out about it.
I'll check back in the morning....PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 29th

:hug:PQ

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 29th

Good evening folks,

Aww PQ, I am so sorry.
Please don't be hard on yourself, unfortunately this sh*t does happen. Know that we are here & love you :hug:

Sam, 60 degrees is perfectly for this girl too. We hit 80 today & it really melted me. Having no spring weather seriously sucks.
Because we're both dealing with pensions we pay estimated state & federal taxes ALL YEAR LONG. Isn't that just swell?

Hi Pauly, hope your day was good.

Mick, I hope your ISP upgraded the whole darn thing so you have no more problems for a long time

I did get outside this morning & planted a bunch of flower seeds before it got too hot. I plan to do all the watering in the mornings before the heat puts me in a bad mood. The afternoons will be spent in my shop working on my reading pillow inventory. That's my plan for the next few months

Pie, so sorry to hear about the missing pup. I kind of know how that feels having three of my chickens dragged off by the fox population last fall.

Wishing everyone a nice night!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: w/c 29th

morning all...and welcome to a really wet and rainy day ..well it is here ..pauly you are alwaysasking for rain there is a shedful here for you.Internet connection now fixed ,I hope ,laptop working ok ,tablets and phones too.so we shall see ....tried to sell me a new phone but that one fell at the first fence..Ive got a samsung galaxy note 3..its the best phone Ive ever had ,so it aing getting traded ...especially when you see that a trade in price is £30..ok enuff woffle brew time....

hiya pauly you ok then?how are the tomatoes doing?you still growing them?

hiya ppqp..wow ,sorry to hear that the plan didnt work out ,are you just looking at bankruptcy or is it a def........whatever happens we are here not a lot I know but its always someone to vent at /to

hiya Lav ...hows you ..yep I worked all my life like you and the sods take a chunk of my penshun now..what plants have you put in veggies or flowers?brew n02 want one?

hiya pie and sam how are you both then? hopefully doing ok..

well our little band is just that...still never mind ..have a good one all

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.

A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.

The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"
Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. WHOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 peices! The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two...." So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHH. A gust of wind filss the room, but the fly is still buzzing around.

The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"

And the Jewish samurai replies - "Look closer, that fly has been circumcised!"

It's the Gold Medal round of the Olympics, and a Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off. Before the match, the American wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now, don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this ‘pretzel’ hold he has. Whatever you do, don’t let him get you in this hold! If he does, you’re finished!” The wrestler nodded in acknowledgement.

As the match started, the American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t even watch the ending.

Suddenly, there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised
his eye just in time to watch the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back hit the mat with a thud, and the American collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded, and ran to his wrestler, who was jumping around the mat, with people swarming him from all angles.

When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”
The wrestler answered, “Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.”
“So,” the trainer exclaimed, “that finished him off, did it?”

“No, but you’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!”

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,
'"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and
stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I
know where to find my hearing aid."

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the
casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once
again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are
again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the
door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a
park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me
every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh
fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me
homemade soup for lunch, and my favourite brownies, and then makes love
to me for half the afternoon.

I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he
makes me a gourmet meal with wine, and my favourite dessert and then
makes love to me until 2:00 a.m." I said, "Well, why in the world would
you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live!"

I needed to pay a visit, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hi ya mate, how are you going"?

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad thanks".

After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to"?

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick poo.., how about yourself"?

The next thing I heard him say was ...

"Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some d*ckhead in the loo next to me answering everything I say".

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those
expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.

But this week I got a call from the contractor who installed
them, complaining that his work had been completed a whole
year ago, and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy, did we go around!! Just because I'm blonde
doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy
had told me last year: namely, that in one year the windows
would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just
hung up... and I have not heard back.

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a bathroom section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.. so if! the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways...

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12.! If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the ! driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look fo! r them while they deliver the mail?

19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

[Samstone]

Re: w/c 29th

morning
morning tea done, now to the hard stuff, coffee. had a frost 2 mornings ago, today almost 90º whats up with that? like the stock market.

PQ, thinking of you and hoping all will get better.

Mick, same way here, don't need the latest and greatest in a phone. Hell, I can't figure out what my old phone can much less a new phone. In a generational thing, my kids will be the last generation to know what it was like not to have a phone 24/7.

Pi, sorry to hear about your pup, we now have coyotes as well running around here. They are something new for the last 15 years or so.

Lav, how are all the little chickadees?? Hope we're not getting any more this year. My wife loves getting them but we've got about 30 of them, enough!!!!

Det, your move complete?

off to mines

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 29th

Mae everybody,Mick I haven't put the tomatoes in the ground yet cuz I need to weed my"garden" area and my allergies have been buggin big time,rained a bit yesterday so I pulled a few,hopefully the ground will be softer we're a small band but really MWO is small on a whole,Sam are you excited it's your last week? PQ,I really am sorry about the finance situation,,I had to file bankruptcy twice in my short lifetime eeks! Much love to all and wishes for a great AF Wednesday

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 29th

MAE ALL...

Thanks for the support it's really appreciated. I spoke with a bankruptcy trustee today and things are looking better. Instead of bankruptcy they are recommending a consumer proposal so now I have a pile of documents to put together. At least I may be able to sleep tonight.

Pi...sorry to hear about the pup. How did the meeting go with your boss about needed repairs on the condos? Sounds like something right up your alley.

Lav...so what's involved in your reading pillow inventory. Do you make these to sell?

Mick...glad you got the internet sorted. You can send the rain to Pauly but not this way please.

Sam...I had frost on my car this morning too. The weather's crazy all over.

Pauly...hopefully I won't have to go down the bankruptcy path. I just want to get a plan in place so I have some peace.

I may actually be able to eat something tonight so it's off to make baked mac & cheese. I hope we all have a restful night.....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 29th

Evening greetings Abbers!

90 degrees today - spring (all two days of it) is over
This is another one of those things you can't do a damn thing about, oh well.

Mick, I decided a few years ago to leave most of the veggie growing to the Amish folks around here. They grow the best, all organic & the price is right.
YB still insists on growing a few things but mostly these days it's onions, garlic, potatoes, that kind of thing. I am happier growing flowers, especially ones that attract & feed hummingbirds & butterflies. No rain here today so I went out & watered first thing this morning.

Sam, 30 chickens is MORE than enough. I refuse to do those big flocks anymore. I just have the 6 one year olds & the 12 ten week olds. Still waiting to see if any of those turn out to be roosters.....they will be going to our friend's farm, ha ha!

Pauly, maybe you can just grow your tomatoes in containers. I've done that, it's fun

PQ, can't say I know what a consumer proposal is but it sounds like a plan to pay off debts? I hope things work out for you.
I started making the reading pillows for kids & gave a few as gifts, they went over well. I am now selling them & developing some for adults too. This is the 'fun work' that I promised myself after 15 years of doing the boring stuff, ha ha! I just put a pic on FB of one I did today - chicken theme for adults, LOL

Hello to Det, hope you are OK!
Hello to Pie too!

Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Pie]

Re: w/c 29th

PQ, smart of you to be working with an advisor who can lay out some options for you. I googled consumer proposal. Looks to be a Canadian arrangement to negotiate agreements with creditors. Hopefully this will simplify matters for you.

May is a busy month for dog care. I committed to two, starting today, but unforeseen events will have four more coming on Friday. Plus my three is, ... Too Many. Luckily, I don't drink, else this would be impossible to manage.

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 29th

Mae everybody,wow Pie that's a lot of doggies! I'm sure you'll manage though PQ,glad you got the money situation sorted a bit,hope you were able to sleep last night I hate being awake with worry,Lav,the chicken pillow was awesome! Much love to all and wishes for a great BF Thursday!

[Mick]

Re: w/c 29th

hiya folks ...i posted this morning on my phone,but it isnt here!!!!theres my bumming my chat saying how good it was and woosh there it was gone,...

hiya pauly ,how are yuou ?yep why doncha grow some tomatoes in pots ?its not like you dont get the sun.

hi pie ,thats a serious amount of doggies!...you manage ok yes I guess you wouldnt manage on the sauce..take care

hiya ppqp...glad you have manged to sort a solution re the finances..one less worry ...well not to the extent it was ..good for you

hiya Lav ,hows you then today?I know what you mean about leaving the veggies to others ,the prices are that cheap now ..like you I do small stuff.and flowers ...but not the humming bird type unfortunately..

hiya everyone else...

TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?

CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?

TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.

CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?

TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.

CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?

TECH: I'm not sure I understand?

CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is a lot prettier," she replies.


The Ant and the Grasshopper
CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END







THE PC BRITISH VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. Britons are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting a Jamaican cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome" Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the government repossesses his home.

The ant moves to Spain, and starts a successful wine-exporting company. A Panorama special later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Trevor Phillips is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Daily Mirror blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana plantation and terrorise the community.

THE END

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, Doctor.

Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said,that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

[Determinator]

Re: w/c 29th

made it to Vegas somehow. whew. I'm so whiped out. resting up. love to all

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 29th

MAE ALL...

Lav...yup basically they figure out what you can pay not what your creditors want you to pay. All interest charges are stopped and they can't garnishee your wages. My debt is reduced to 1/3 and I can pay that off with a reasonable monthly payment over 5 years. If my finances change I can pay it off sooner. I'm glad you're able to get to the fun work and the adult reading pillow looks great.

Pi...it's a better option than bankruptcy as the creditors get some of the debt paid and I'm not in the hole every month. I think the 36 feet beats the 32 you ended up with last time. How long will the 4 coming tomorrow be staying with you?

Pauly...hope you had a great BF Thursday, mine was better than it's been for awhile. Yup, managed to get 6 hours sleep which helped even if it was in two 3 hour bouts.

Mick...haven't seen a disappearing post from you for awhile. First step was to open a bank account that I don't owe any money to. Times have really changed since I opened my last bank account, I could do it all online complete with sending id and selfies from my phone for identification. LOL Because of my age could get a Freedom account with unlimited transactions and no monthly fees. That'll help.

Det...good to see you check in, I was thinking of you. Looking forward to hearing about your new start.

Thinks it's breakfast for dinner tonight, haven't had the energy (or money) to grocery shop. Hope we all have a peaceful, restful evening....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 29th

Good evening Abbers,

‘Twas another way too hot day in Lav-land, yuck.
I re@lly hope we get the rain forecasted this weekend to cool things down around here, geez.

Mick, I forgot to mention that we also have an asparagus bed, had some tonight, yum.
We received an enormous head of red leaf lettuce from the Amish folks today as a gift!!

Det, I hope you are getting some rest. Check in when you can.

Pauly, today I’m working on a dog pillow, found some awesome dog fabric!

Pie, I will have to get your address & send you this dog pillow. You will deserve a gift after looking after so many pups. Good luck!

PQ, I’m glad that program is going to give you some relief. I was hoping that was what you were talking about.
Hang in there, you’ll get through this. I wish I could FedEx some eggs & asparagus to yiu for dinner

Time to call it a day I guess. Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: w/c 29th

morning all ...how are we this morning?all good I hope ..well it failed to produce the hottest day yesterday ,it was really overcast ..raining this morning but its gone pretty hot.Bank holiday weeekend here ,so the roads will be chokka ..so lets have an unrushed brew .
hiya Lav ...well did you get any rain? that pillow you did is ace .keep calm keep rabbits ..ha ha not .that lilac tree/bush needs a wee bit of a trim ..hope you have a good day

hiya ppqp...well did you sleep any better last night? hope so....yes you have got the debt ,but at the same time you have got to live ,and thats it ..you have a life too.and you have done well..6 years this year without booze too...yes that post yesterday was the first one I have lost for ages.so did you have a good brekkie /tea?

hiya det....that you landed in vegas my friend ...? get some rest,and then re-look at the world.

hi pie pauly ,sam and everyone ..how are you today? hope all ok ..

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The PA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

The owner of a well-established firm of wholesalers was inter-viewing people for a position in sales. One candidate offered excellent references and experience and was well-dressed and well-spoken. The only catch was a disconcerting mannerism: the fellow couldn't seem to stop winking.

So the sales manager decided to be frank, "You've got all the qualifications for the job and I'd really like to hire you, but I'm afraid that facial tic of yours might put customers off".

"I'm glad you brought that up, sir," said the sales candidate, "because all I need to make that annoying wink go away is a couple of aspirin. See for yourself, I've got some on me". And he began emptying his pockets on the desk.

The prospective employer was startled to see dozens of packages of condoms piling up: ribbed ones, lubricated ones, multicolored ones, every variety imaginable.

"Aha", cried the young man happily, "here they are". He brandished two aspirin, swallowed them , and sure enough, the tic went away in less than a minute.

"So much for the wink," said the sales manager sternly, gesturing at the mountain of rubbers, "but what about all this stuff here? I don't want my company to be represented by some wild womanizer, after all".

"No fear. I'm a happily married man".

"So how can you account for the contents of your pockets"?

"It's simple, sir. Did you ever go into a drug store, winking like crazy, and ask for a packet of aspirins"?

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers.

Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS".

The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, "May I have your attention please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** You!".

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."