Re: w/c 24th jne
morning all..how are you then today? wow the weather over here is yet again boiling today,..its supposed to break next week yeehah ..we arein tenerife..rabbits seem ok today ...digger is resting today ..Panda isd bimbling about eating .....so lets have a brew here ...
hiya Lav, how are you today then? hope all is well with you ...heres an idea for your chicken that isnt eating at the moment ..when any of my rabbits never used to eat ,I used to crunch up a digestive biscuit ,either dry feed or mix with water ,not a lot ,but I have never have had one yet that has refused it ,just dont feed too much.
Also that injury with the chicken ..I have seen that before ...a fox with a bird ...the fox mesmerised the bird ,and brought it up to the wire to the extent it poked its head through the wire..and bang that was it ..
hiya ppqp...Bridge group is having a windup lunch of cold salmon, deli meat platter, cheese & fruit with cards in the afternoon. It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it. LOL..sign me up!!!!!!!!!!how are you then today ? hope all is good ..with you ..Im buying some microbore pipe and a timer to water the greenhouse....I have got to work it all out yet but Im sure I will. is that the progs finished for the summer?
hiya pauly ..dont know what the temps are like ..over here it was 37 here yesterday..it was too hot ..the rabbits were sheltering ....what areyou up to today then? whatever it is have a nice day ...
hiya everyone else ..hope you are all good ...
An old owl was perched on a tree on top of a hill one very cold night. He looked down in the valley and saw a light in a window so he decided to fly down to the window ledge in hopes there was some warmth escaping. Well sure enough it was warm, so he fell fast asleep. He didn’t know that there were two vetenary students inside studying for final exams.
The two vetenary students spotted the owl and decided to use him as practice. They eased the window open and gassed him.
The first student looked down the owls throat and said he has tonsillitis, so he operated.
The other looked at his butt and announced that the owl had hemorrhoids, so he operated.
They placed the owl back out on the ledge.
The owl woke up very groggy and flew away.
The next winter that same owl was perched on the same tree on a very cold night.
A young owl landed next to him and said brrrr it sure is cold out tonight.
The old owl agreed.
The young owl noticed there was a light down in the valley and suggested they both fly down there to the window ledge and maybe find some escaping heat.
The old owl replied "no way”, last year I did the same thing, passed out, woke up drunk and for the next six weeks I couldn’t shit worth a hoot or hoot worth a shit.
The Chief noticed a new seaman one day.... and barked at him, "Get over here!" "What is your name?" was the first thing the Chief asked the new guy.
"Paul," the new guy replied.
The Chief scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching Sailors in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last name only: Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all.. I am to be referred to only as Chief. Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, aye, Chief!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed.... and said, "Darling. My name is Paul Darling, Chief!"
"Okay.............. Paul,........ here's what I want you to do...
An economist was leaving his office building and saw a little boy sitting on the curb with a dog. The boy yelled at the economist, "Hey, how would you like to buy a dog".
The man was intrigued by this sales approach and asked the boy, "How much do you want for your dog".
The boy told him, "Fifty thousand dollars".
"Fifty thousand dollars!" the man repeated in astonishment. "What special tricks does this dog do that he can earn enough money to be worth fifty thousand dollars"? the man asked the boy?
The boy replied, "Mister, this dog never made a nickel in his life. Matter of fact, count what he eats I guess you could say you lose money on him every year".
The economist felt this was a good time to explain economics to the young man and expounded on how an item had to produce more income than it consumed to equal a puchase price ending with he might get five dollars from someone who just wanted a companion. Feeling he had imparted a very valuable lesson to the young man, the economist went on his way.
A few weeks later, the economist came out of his office building and the small boy was again sitting on the curb minus the dog. The man said to him, "I see you took my advise and sold the dog for five dollars".
The boy said, "No, I got fifty thousand dollars for him".
The business man was completely flabbergasted. "How did you ever get fifty thousand dollars for that dog" he asked.
"It was easy", said the boy. "I traded him for two twenty five thousand dollar cats".
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
Ma and Pa Were Two Hillbillies Living out on a Farm Up in the Hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right?"
As she pulls up her panties she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"
A Lonely Guy...
decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual animal. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me for a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?”
But again there was no answer from his new pet. So he waited a few more minutes, thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s little house he shouted, “HEY, IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?”
A little voice came out of the box, “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!”
A handful of 7 year old children were asked "What they thought of beer". Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.
"I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets."
--Tim, 7 years old
"Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice."
--Melanie, 7 years old
"My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny."
--Grady, 7 years old
"'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing."
--Toby, 7 years old
"My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.
--Sarah, 7 years old
"My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool."
--Lilly, 7 years old
"I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting."
--Ethan, 7 years old
"I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep. "
--Shirley, 7 years old
"My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense."
--Jack, 7 years old
morning all..how are you then today? wow the weather over here is yet again boiling today,..its supposed to break next week yeehah ..we arein tenerife..rabbits seem ok today ...digger is resting today ..Panda isd bimbling about eating .....so lets have a brew here ...
hiya Lav, how are you today then? hope all is well with you ...heres an idea for your chicken that isnt eating at the moment ..when any of my rabbits never used to eat ,I used to crunch up a digestive biscuit ,either dry feed or mix with water ,not a lot ,but I have never have had one yet that has refused it ,just dont feed too much.
Also that injury with the chicken ..I have seen that before ...a fox with a bird ...the fox mesmerised the bird ,and brought it up to the wire to the extent it poked its head through the wire..and bang that was it ..
hiya ppqp...Bridge group is having a windup lunch of cold salmon, deli meat platter, cheese & fruit with cards in the afternoon. It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it. LOL..sign me up!!!!!!!!!!how are you then today ? hope all is good ..with you ..Im buying some microbore pipe and a timer to water the greenhouse....I have got to work it all out yet but Im sure I will. is that the progs finished for the summer?
hiya pauly ..dont know what the temps are like ..over here it was 37 here yesterday..it was too hot ..the rabbits were sheltering ....what areyou up to today then? whatever it is have a nice day ...
hiya everyone else ..hope you are all good ...
An old owl was perched on a tree on top of a hill one very cold night. He looked down in the valley and saw a light in a window so he decided to fly down to the window ledge in hopes there was some warmth escaping. Well sure enough it was warm, so he fell fast asleep. He didn’t know that there were two vetenary students inside studying for final exams.
The two vetenary students spotted the owl and decided to use him as practice. They eased the window open and gassed him.
The first student looked down the owls throat and said he has tonsillitis, so he operated.
The other looked at his butt and announced that the owl had hemorrhoids, so he operated.
They placed the owl back out on the ledge.
The owl woke up very groggy and flew away.
The next winter that same owl was perched on the same tree on a very cold night.
A young owl landed next to him and said brrrr it sure is cold out tonight.
The old owl agreed.
The young owl noticed there was a light down in the valley and suggested they both fly down there to the window ledge and maybe find some escaping heat.
The old owl replied "no way”, last year I did the same thing, passed out, woke up drunk and for the next six weeks I couldn’t shit worth a hoot or hoot worth a shit.
The Chief noticed a new seaman one day.... and barked at him, "Get over here!" "What is your name?" was the first thing the Chief asked the new guy.
"Paul," the new guy replied.
The Chief scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching Sailors in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last name only: Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all.. I am to be referred to only as Chief. Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, aye, Chief!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed.... and said, "Darling. My name is Paul Darling, Chief!"
"Okay.............. Paul,........ here's what I want you to do...
An economist was leaving his office building and saw a little boy sitting on the curb with a dog. The boy yelled at the economist, "Hey, how would you like to buy a dog".
The man was intrigued by this sales approach and asked the boy, "How much do you want for your dog".
The boy told him, "Fifty thousand dollars".
"Fifty thousand dollars!" the man repeated in astonishment. "What special tricks does this dog do that he can earn enough money to be worth fifty thousand dollars"? the man asked the boy?
The boy replied, "Mister, this dog never made a nickel in his life. Matter of fact, count what he eats I guess you could say you lose money on him every year".
The economist felt this was a good time to explain economics to the young man and expounded on how an item had to produce more income than it consumed to equal a puchase price ending with he might get five dollars from someone who just wanted a companion. Feeling he had imparted a very valuable lesson to the young man, the economist went on his way.
A few weeks later, the economist came out of his office building and the small boy was again sitting on the curb minus the dog. The man said to him, "I see you took my advise and sold the dog for five dollars".
The boy said, "No, I got fifty thousand dollars for him".
The business man was completely flabbergasted. "How did you ever get fifty thousand dollars for that dog" he asked.
"It was easy", said the boy. "I traded him for two twenty five thousand dollar cats".
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
Ma and Pa Were Two Hillbillies Living out on a Farm Up in the Hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right?"
As she pulls up her panties she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"
A Lonely Guy...
decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual animal. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me for a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?”
But again there was no answer from his new pet. So he waited a few more minutes, thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s little house he shouted, “HEY, IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?”
A little voice came out of the box, “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!”
A handful of 7 year old children were asked "What they thought of beer". Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.
"I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets."
--Tim, 7 years old
"Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice."
--Melanie, 7 years old
"My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny."
--Grady, 7 years old
"'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing."
--Toby, 7 years old
"My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.
--Sarah, 7 years old
"My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool."
--Lilly, 7 years old
"I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting."
--Ethan, 7 years old
"I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep. "
--Shirley, 7 years old
"My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense."
--Jack, 7 years old
PQ,its just some kind of boneless turkey breast that I throw in the crock pot with potatoes and carrots,just like a real roast but I dump turkey gravy on it,turns out really good!Lav,poor little chicken
I hadn't realized she got hurt that bad,much love to all and wishes for a great booze free Wednesday!
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