Re: w/c 29
morning all ,how are we today then? hope all is well with you today then...The sun is out hee yet again today ,yipee.Well the new hutch I was getting for the peskies has fallen thru ,my friend who was going to make it for me ,has got some family circumstances that mean he cant..so I need to get on with it soon as ..so its busy me ..on top of that my bandsaw broke yesterday ,so Ive got to fix..
so quick brew and on we go...
hiya Lav,brew for you ...snakes again time ? is there not a way you can inject an egg with something that Mr Snake will not come back for second helpings?did the rain turn up for you?glad sk is doing ok ,say hiya for me next time she contacts you?
hey pauly ,firstly ,well chuffed that you didnt drink when you were away ,that was a trigger last time..so good for you ...as far lasgna ...Im off to Italy next month so will def be having it ..best of luck in finding a new salon...sounds like the present geezer is nutso...
hiya ppqp ...hows you then? by all means veggie shop here ..did you have a quiet day then? no co worker.com?have a nice day
hi sam the man ,you up to speed with your work?I guess you dont like flying ? how long is the flight? to me now its just a means to an end.....Julie doesnt like flying either .best of luck to you mate.
hiya everyone else ..hope you are all ok
take care everyone..
Proof The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Do they look different reversed?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time .
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)
Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act
Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with One exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." ( Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times it's own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles of . ?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Starfish don't have brains.
And, the best for last...
Turtles can breathe through their butts .
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
A man hails a taxi, and gets inside.
"5th and Main, please."
"You again?" says the taxi driver. "This is the 4th time I've dropped you and your wife off at work."
"Really? My wife doesn't work."
"Yes, she does. I drop her off there everyday, about an hour after I drive you to work."
"There?"
"Behind the Tillman & Lane department store."
"Interesting," says the man. "Tell you what. Pick me up in two hours, and I want you to show me where my wife works." So two hours later, the taxi arrives and takes the man to whorehouse behind Tillman & Lane.
"Hold on," said the driver. "I'll be right back."
There's a huge commotion after the driver goes in, with cursing and screaming and the sounds of breaking furniture. The driver comes out with a woman in a headlock.
"That's not my wife!" exclaims the man.
"I know. She's mine. I'm going back in for yours."
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true,
so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution...
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
morning all ,how are we today then? hope all is well with you today then...The sun is out hee yet again today ,yipee.Well the new hutch I was getting for the peskies has fallen thru ,my friend who was going to make it for me ,has got some family circumstances that mean he cant..so I need to get on with it soon as ..so its busy me ..on top of that my bandsaw broke yesterday ,so Ive got to fix..
so quick brew and on we go...
hiya Lav,brew for you ...snakes again time ? is there not a way you can inject an egg with something that Mr Snake will not come back for second helpings?did the rain turn up for you?glad sk is doing ok ,say hiya for me next time she contacts you?
hey pauly ,firstly ,well chuffed that you didnt drink when you were away ,that was a trigger last time..so good for you ...as far lasgna ...Im off to Italy next month so will def be having it ..best of luck in finding a new salon...sounds like the present geezer is nutso...
hiya ppqp ...hows you then? by all means veggie shop here ..did you have a quiet day then? no co worker.com?have a nice day
hi sam the man ,you up to speed with your work?I guess you dont like flying ? how long is the flight? to me now its just a means to an end.....Julie doesnt like flying either .best of luck to you mate.
hiya everyone else ..hope you are all ok
take care everyone..
Proof The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Do they look different reversed?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time .
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)
Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act
Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with One exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." ( Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times it's own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles of . ?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Starfish don't have brains.
And, the best for last...
Turtles can breathe through their butts .
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
A man hails a taxi, and gets inside.
"5th and Main, please."
"You again?" says the taxi driver. "This is the 4th time I've dropped you and your wife off at work."
"Really? My wife doesn't work."
"Yes, she does. I drop her off there everyday, about an hour after I drive you to work."
"There?"
"Behind the Tillman & Lane department store."
"Interesting," says the man. "Tell you what. Pick me up in two hours, and I want you to show me where my wife works." So two hours later, the taxi arrives and takes the man to whorehouse behind Tillman & Lane.
"Hold on," said the driver. "I'll be right back."
There's a huge commotion after the driver goes in, with cursing and screaming and the sounds of breaking furniture. The driver comes out with a woman in a headlock.
"That's not my wife!" exclaims the man.
"I know. She's mine. I'm going back in for yours."
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true,
so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution...
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Lb is flying back to Portland this morning,her boyfriend dropped her off at 4 am,then he finishes up a,catering job then flies back tonight,I always feel sad when they leave but she'll be back at the end of the month for some event for her friend who's getting married in the fall,not much else going on around here,which is a good thing I guess,no drama for this mama! Much love to all and let's have a Happy August!
pqp
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