wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

[Mick]

hiya all ...well theres a thing ..the other post islocked and closed ...dont know if it wasme or not ..oops ,but I have messaged to see if they can unlock it ,nevertheless here is anuvver one..how are we all today then ? good I hope.It is very misty over here today..the rabbits are settling in nicely to the new abode.I will put some pics up after ..I seem to have been really busy this last week or so ..and yet when I look back ,it has all been "bitty "stuff..done quite a bit on the trains ,to there is one bit I just cant get right.I will tho.We are off to Italy in just under a month ...Julie went on a diet ..we both love Italian food ,and I aint living on rabbit food out there..part of her diet ,was she quit booze ...now she didnt drink much anyway ,but it was regular ,ie 2 vodkas every night when she came in from work ..she hasnt had a drink for 3 weeks now ..we were chatting about it and she doesnt miss it at all ..so she reckons if and when she has a drink ,she wont be having it in the house ..anyway ...
hiya SK hope you are doing a bit better ? apologies I am doing this from memory!hows the little finger doing?hows peggy doing are you managing with her ok?

hiya ppqpq ..how are you enjoying sasky chew wan? you and sis having a good ole catch up?Is the out of office working ha ha ...

hiya pauly hows you saw the pics of lou very smart ..whats all the hashtag stuff on the board behind him ?

hiya Lav how are you then today? well I hope hows the veggies coming along? Ive got some tomatoes here the size of apples!take it you are now a kid free zone?have a great day ..

a big hello to everyone else ...take care lets have a good one ...

Words of Wisdom or Basic Truth

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving

Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come to mind any more

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!


Today My Doctor asked Me

...what I did yesterday, I told him about my all about my day:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake",

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoors-man"!

"No", I replied, "I'm just a crap golfer".

Why Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said "lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!!!


My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible" she said?

Being the nice guy I am, I thought "Darn it, I'll treat her"!

So we walked past it again...

[Samstone]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

hey hoe all,
had a good trip, back to the old grind. my flights got messed up due to weather, lost a few "moments" of sleep and a guitar, guitar was latwr found, sleep found much later.
ope everyone is well.


IMG_0043.jpgIMG_0029.jpg

[paulywogg]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Mae everybody,Sam,looks beautiful glad the guitar and sleep got found,Mick,dunno about the hash tag stuff in the background I refuse to do the hashtag thing! Lou's teacher is pretty young so maybe she wants Instagram followers haha,actually Kell went to high school with her,that's crazy to me! I agree no rabbit food in Italy! That's the time to indulge PQ,that storm came outta the blue,i took Winslow for a walk at 7:45 it was calm,not even a breeze,by 9 it was blowing like a hurricane! The neighbors tree broke in half so crazy,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Tuesday! SK,what's gonna happen to the little finger?

[porqoui]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

MAE ALL...

Mick...second time our thread has been locked, apparently for no reason. Are your jokes getting a little racy? Don't think so. They are quick to unlock it but we might as well stay with this one. Not heading to sasky chew wan till tomorrow so don't know how often I'll be able to pop on here. It's the bitty stuff that takes time. As far as the train track I know you'll get it right or die trying. LOL Good on Julie for deciding not to drink in the house, that is unless she disappears every night. Italy will be here before you know it! Keep on track with those diets so you can enjoy yourselves.

Sam...good to see you're home safe and sound. The pics are great. I can see why the missus didn't go, looks like quite the hike. Like Pauly, I'm glad got your guitar and sleep back.

Pauly...glad there was no damage with that pop up storm. Do they happen often? The video I saw was showed horizontal lightening just lighting up the night sky.

Just back from the hairdressers and I could cry. New hairstylist, first day on the job and Mick my head looks damn near close to yours. Oh well, it'll grow. Out to dinner with some girlfriends tonight and then heading out tomorrow. Will check back later to see if there's rabbit condo pics up. Have a Terrific Tuesday all....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Good evening Abbers!

Nice to see a new thread that I can actually post on, ha ha!
So why are they locking up threads? This must be something new. I’ve been around these boards a long, long time & have never seen this action before. I actually like having no alcohol in the house. YB keeps beer in his garage fridge, that has never interested me.
We have tons of garlic & onions harvested. The tomatoes look pretty good but I’m staying away from them for the most part due to the heartbun they cause, oh well. Potatoes are growing in huge containers, looks like they are doing well.

Welcome back Sam, love the pictures!
Glad you got your guitar back, jeez! Are you sick of this rain yet?

Pauly, you must have had a pretty good storm! Sounds like the storms we’ve been getting over & over.
I hope Louie enjoyed his first day. Does he have a full or half day?

PQ, if your hair grows like mine it will probably be just right in a week or two
I am a big fan of short hair, doesn’t hold the heat, ha ha!
I hope you trip is wonderful, relaxing & everything you would like it to be.

I hope we all have a decent night!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

That is weird the thread was locked,,if threads start getting locked cuz of racey jokes or cussing I'm screwed! Haha PQ,I'm sorry about your hair I can't do short hair I feel like my heads too round for it,Lav,Lou had a fun first day and was happy today too I'm glad,it is a full day which surprised me,my kids always went half day

[SKendall]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Hi al. mick littlt finger can't be in a cast too. it will heal crooked but that happened on 6/22 and it's quie painful. i need to be able to bathe, shampoo, open mailetc. can't believe i'mso clumsy with the cast. i trach for coffee, etc but the cast gets there f



irst and splat. i will need a carpet shampoo soon.

Mick, no wonder when you look back and don't think you've done much, it's your many holliers getting in the way.


pauly, wow those were wicked storms, news was referring to them as monsoons.

PPQ, I kept etting man cuts from this salon a walk in type and i realized a lot of men had their hair done there and they were cutting all heas the same way. This time there was a young man and i explained what i wanted and he did it perfectly, used to work at Toni and guy. Have fun with sis.

lav, what do you do with all those tomatoes? i used to make tomato tarts but i squeezed out th seeds maybe that was causing the acidity. kept the arm elevated but had to go to the bank, etc. so i must have over used it. took p/killers an hour ago and no relief. my back was so much better.
in the rehab, but' it's back full bore. i wonder if it was the hospital bed anywa i did get a break from it.
I have t-mobile but can't get connection anywhere in the apt. They admitted to a fa
ilure in my area. i go backtomorrow WITH my phone, tosee whatever. temp hi 90's with 52% humidity. ie. sticky and miserable.

goodnite.

[SKendall]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Sam, they are great pics, where did you go?

Mick, thanks for taking care of us and starting a new thread. i can't imagine they would lock it due some jokes.

[Mick]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

hiya all and a good morning to you ,hope all is doing ok with you ...well Ih ave to report it is pouring with rain this morning ,its not that long ago we were moaning that there was no rain and now could do with some of the sunny stuff ..just given Panda her meds ,dragging her leg this morning ,I really hate seeing her doing that .all I can do is make her life as comfortable as possible .I stick by the adage she is in no pain and still has quality of life ..anyway ..we move on ...yes I dont know whay the thread was closed off ..I have mailed the owner/fixers but no reply has been the answer so far..I cant see it being over the jokes there was nothing in them ..
ok brew time ..

hiya SK how are you keeping today then?you any better ?I appreciate it will take a long time ,but any improvement is welcome I guess ..you still managing ok with peggy? oops apologies just saw your previous post ...Im working backards!!!yes all they do is tape your wee finger up ...very similar as to your toes ,You could be right ...it could be the holidays that are getting in the way....looks like I will hafta live with that one!!ok heres a cup of coffee without spilling it have a good day .

hiya pauly ,hows you ?day2 it is for Lou ..see poetry? haha hope you have a good one ...so now your neighbours got a tr or an ee half a tree ..get it? ok ok ..

hiya Lav,hows you then?Ive got tons of tomatoes,Ive eaten them in all sorts of ways!and the biggy is Im not supposed to eat too many of them because of the potassium content grrr .spuds have produced too much as yet ....I grew some onions called Bedfordshire Champions ..they were pretty good .We are at Southport Flower show this weekend hope the weather holds .

hiya ppqp ...A haircut like mine?woweedoes that mean we look like each other now ???ha ha ....I will put some pics up after its persisting it down the noo...you have a great holiday...

hiya Sam ...wow nice pics ,looks like a shale mountain...glad they found the geetar though !!now are you back to reality? have a nice day mate .

hiya everyone else ,.hope everyone has a safe sober day..

Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends and family. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-pound potato sacks. Then 50-pound potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days.

Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again.

My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

A woman was very nervous about her first date with a man she'd been attracted to for a long time.

When her first date drove to her house to pick her up for dinner, she started to feel gassy and realized the chilli she'd had for lunch had been a bad idea.

Her first date, being a gentlemen, opened the car door for her ane let her climb in, carefully closing it behind her. As he walked around to his side, she farted loudly and quickly opened the window and began fanning.

She was horrified when he got in and pointed to the back seat saying "Have you met Ruth and Bob?"

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is a lot prettier," she replies.

Five Englishmen turn up at the Irish border in an Audi Quatro

Paddy at the crossing says " One of you get out, five in that car is illegal. Quatro means four"

" Don't be silly you dumb Irishman" the driver said. " I want to speak to someone with a bit of intelligence. Where's your supervisor?"

" He can't come" Paddy replied " He's busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno"

Words of Wit and Wisdom
In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on the calendar

Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.

My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, He takes something for it.

Never be afraid to try something new, remember amateurs built the ark - professionals built the Titanic.

Love is grand - divorce is a hundred grand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

One of life's mysteries - how can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

[Samstone]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

morning all

looks like a nice day shaping up out there. Only today I have to see a lawyer. Got subpoenaed as a witness in a trespassing case in which I had marked the lines. The trial is this Friday. What a pain in the ass. 2 grown men acting like jr. high schoolers. Taking up time that could be a lot more productive!!

thanks for the kick off this am Mick, Wabbits enjoying their new digs??

SK, pics are on Mt. Rainer. I had gone to my niece's wedding in Seattle and we did a little day hike.

Lav, don't know which is worse, all the rain or the fires out west, like our politics, extremes. lord help us if there's a tropical storm.

PQ, maybe it is just the shock of short hair? not what you're use to? like you say, it'll grow back.

Pauly, any word from Det? Is he out and about yet? Did you end up changing jobs?

well, time to motivate, another cup might do it!

Off to town.

[paulywogg]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Mae everybody,Mick jokes are funny,,that Tim is cheap! Sam,Det text me Saturday and said he's out and was flying home,,says he'll check in this weekend,still job searching for me waves to all and wishes for a great BF Wednesday!

[Lavande]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Good evening Abbers,

It was a decent day even with the boys here all day, ha ha!!
Still 90+ degrees, no rain today. The heat & humidity are going even higher tomorrow with the threat of ferocious storms ~ swell.

Mick, YB picked 9 quarts of heirloom tomatoes today that he is taking to the Amish produce auction tomorrow. He hopes to sell them & make a nice little profit. It keeps him busy & out of my hair, ha ha!

Sam, looks like a seriously damp weekend again this weekend
I hope the court case wasn't too big of a pain in the a$$.

SK, you poor thing, you really need a companion to help with certain things. I wish we could all take turns helping you get a cup of coffee :hug:
Why don't you ask your home care nurse for a sling to use when you go out to keep that arm from hanging & getting puffy.

Pauly, my kids went to half day K too but a lot of schools are switching over to full day. My grandsons both had full day programs, did well. Glad Louis likes it so far

Hello to PQ, hope vacay is going well!

Have a nice night everyone.
Lav

[Mick]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

morning all ,hows we today then? all good I hope ,,its stopped raining so the peskies are out playing....doing a bit on the trains ,and then off to the shops ..good eh??....ok onwards and upwards ...
hiya sam ,hows you then ?all well with you then?yes the rabbits love the new gaff ,Isat in there with them last night in the rain,,yep mad but it was good .heres a couple of pics ...

20180810_155635.jpg

20180815_165453.jpg

20180815_165749.jpg

strangely enough they dont use the enclosed side ..


hi sk ,how are you today ,?feeling any better ? yes Id happily make you a brew etc.take care ....

hiya ppqp...how are you enjoying yourself?hopefully all is good with you ..enjoy sasky chewan......

pauly how are you then today?you good ?best of luck with the job searching ........

hiya Lav,hows you then?Ive heard of heirloom tomatoes ,hope the sale goes well for you ..do you do a lot of trade with the Amish community?Is there alot of interaction between the communities? havent heard you mention the wildlife recently ..apart from the wee bugs .have they gone?

hi everyone else ..hope you are well..

19 “shit jokes” that are so shit that you might just laugh despite your better judgement



* * *
I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

* * *
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

* * *
How does Moses make his tea? ☕️
Hebrews it.
I’m serious that Israeli how he does it.

* * *
Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!
Lucky I got the first punch in.

* * *
Just seen a French footballer playing on a nintendo…
It was Thierry on Wii

* * *
Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.
Barman says “not yew tree again”

* * *
My new years resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant!
Roll on next year!

* * *
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.
Should have put it on aloha setting.

* * *
Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent.

* * *
Gutted the wife has left me!
She’s took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too.
No woman no Sky

* * *
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!!”
I think it was Farmer Geddon.

* * *

I want to trace my father...

Does anyone have a good marker pen?

A monkey approached me with a bunch of bananas and asked for a tin opener.
I said "You don't need a tin opener for bananas"
He said "I know, it's for the f*cking custard!!"

I used to have a phobia about horse chestnut trees, but i think ive conkered it.

Bought a new muzzle for my duck. Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.

Paddy & Murphy in an aeroplane going to Benidorm.

Paddy: Murphy if this Aeroplane turns up side down will we FALL OUT !!.

Murphy: Don't be stupid Paddy I'll still talk to you.

[paulywogg]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Mae everybody,Mick seems like animals use what works for them instead of what we think is a good idea,hubs had dug a home for the tortoise and he wouldn't use it and went and dug his own in an opposite part of the yard haha,my guinea pig gets busy moving his hut around when I put it to the side,I guess they just like things their way much love to all and wishes for a great BF Thursday

[SKendall]

Re: wk commencing 12 REPLACEMENT

Morning all.

Mick, read an article in the nytimes today, it was about the re-emerging of history with the earth being so dry, fascinating. thereare some specific areas they mentioned.

Pauly good luck with job search. It takes a while.

Lav, the Amish sound like very good neighbours.

Peggy is pretty sick, vomiting. walking very slowly, etc. Walked her at 5:00 am and she ate some grass and looked confused. Wanted back out at 8, ate more grass and vomited again. she looked instantly better but is now just staring at nothing. im a little worried. When i rub behind her ears i usually get licks, but today she tried and couldn't.

Cyn, want to join us, you aremissed.

PPQ, hope you are enjoying yourvacay.