Re: 21st of october...2 months 4 days till ho ho ho day
Hi everyone..and how are we today then?hope all is well with everyone ,Im a wee bit late today ,been a bit busy ,plus a few bits and pieces have cropped up that have got to be dealt with before they get worse or even out of perspective .It isnt raining at the moment,so the rabbits have been out playing ,in fact they have been zooming about in the house too..Jeeves still sticks to the conservatory while Bonnie isnt phased going anywhere.I couldnt find here earlier ...out she pops from behind the telly cabinet ..Im waiting for the post man then Ive got to go out .going up to my friends farm ,to take some stuff up there ,
we have a weather warning for this coming week ....snow!!eek....whats that all about...
ok lets have a brew..
apologies for not answering on an individual basis ,need to get a rush on...
My local MP is a conviction politician.
Drink-driving, kerb-crawling and expenses fraud so far.
Dear BBC,
It has come to my attention that the long running series Doctor Who now has a woman in the lead role. About bloody time too, the show has been dominated by men who bully and destroy any species who they don't agree with since it's inception. I'm sure the lady will be level headed and deal with the universal threats in a far more civilised manner. A word of warning though to you Cybermen and Daleks who may think she's a soft touch, beware her secret weapon, yes, the PMT. It's not going to end well if you mess with her at that time of month. Oh, and one last thing, that horrible masculine blue Tardis, don't you think it's time it was changed to a nice pastel pink?
Tim. E . Lord.
Dogs make the best pets because they behave just like humans.
Take this morning, for instance. I rolled around in my own faeces in the garden for a while, then killed the neighbour's cat.
Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.
They say it's a blast from the past.
I've been watching some videos of David Bowie touring the Middle East.
My favourite is when Ziggy played Qatar.
Scientists say that the most complex computer in the known universe, the human brain, uses only 20 Watts of power.
So I'm off to wire my head up to the mains socket and turn myself into a super-genius.
Can't believe no-one's thought of this before.
The difference in the cultures between Glasgow and Edinburgh in Scotland.
If you see a bloke walking down the street in Edinburgh carrying a golf club, there’s a pretty good chance he's off to play golf.
My wife just dumped me because of my "stupid comparisons."
I feel like a China Shop in a cow field.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Trump say the Saudi cover up of Khashoggi killing "Worst in history". Trump. cover up. Ironic.
I love it when women bring their cars to my garage for repair.
I just tell them they need a new Froggle-splanget-murgle-intictor and they pay what I want.
Liverpool Community TV to be disbanded, or as we know it, Crimewatch.
Donald Trump is shtting enough bricks today to build his fcking wall.
I was approached by a charity worker
"I'm sorry to stop you sir." she said
"That's ok, you haven't" I replied as I carried on walking.
The UK is having a potato shortage due to the current heatwave, as potatoes can stop growing when the temperature rises about 25 degrees celsius.
The head of independent crisp makers Pipers has told the Sunday Times ‘there is a danger we will have a crisp crisis’.
A spokesperson from Walkers commented saying 'this won't effect us in any way, as we put no crisps in our bags'
"Woman abandoned as baby 80 years ago finds out who she is"
A pensioner.
I heard that the Chicago police department has replaced all their sirens to play The National Anthem to force suspects to stop and take a knee
I was reading today that Shark experts from around the world are meeting in Sydney to discuss ways to prevent casualties, after a rise in the number of attacks in recent months.
I'm no expert, but may i suggest not bloody swimming where sharks live is a good start.
"Britain’s top cop Cressida Dick wants tougher sentences to deter violent teens from criminal lifestyle"
How about "Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff was innoculated for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch"
Hi everyone..and how are we today then?hope all is well with everyone ,Im a wee bit late today ,been a bit busy ,plus a few bits and pieces have cropped up that have got to be dealt with before they get worse or even out of perspective .It isnt raining at the moment,so the rabbits have been out playing ,in fact they have been zooming about in the house too..Jeeves still sticks to the conservatory while Bonnie isnt phased going anywhere.I couldnt find here earlier ...out she pops from behind the telly cabinet ..Im waiting for the post man then Ive got to go out .going up to my friends farm ,to take some stuff up there ,
we have a weather warning for this coming week ....snow!!eek....whats that all about...
ok lets have a brew..
apologies for not answering on an individual basis ,need to get a rush on...
My local MP is a conviction politician.
Drink-driving, kerb-crawling and expenses fraud so far.
Dear BBC,
It has come to my attention that the long running series Doctor Who now has a woman in the lead role. About bloody time too, the show has been dominated by men who bully and destroy any species who they don't agree with since it's inception. I'm sure the lady will be level headed and deal with the universal threats in a far more civilised manner. A word of warning though to you Cybermen and Daleks who may think she's a soft touch, beware her secret weapon, yes, the PMT. It's not going to end well if you mess with her at that time of month. Oh, and one last thing, that horrible masculine blue Tardis, don't you think it's time it was changed to a nice pastel pink?
Tim. E . Lord.
Dogs make the best pets because they behave just like humans.
Take this morning, for instance. I rolled around in my own faeces in the garden for a while, then killed the neighbour's cat.
Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.
They say it's a blast from the past.
I've been watching some videos of David Bowie touring the Middle East.
My favourite is when Ziggy played Qatar.
Scientists say that the most complex computer in the known universe, the human brain, uses only 20 Watts of power.
So I'm off to wire my head up to the mains socket and turn myself into a super-genius.
Can't believe no-one's thought of this before.
The difference in the cultures between Glasgow and Edinburgh in Scotland.
If you see a bloke walking down the street in Edinburgh carrying a golf club, there’s a pretty good chance he's off to play golf.
My wife just dumped me because of my "stupid comparisons."
I feel like a China Shop in a cow field.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Trump say the Saudi cover up of Khashoggi killing "Worst in history". Trump. cover up. Ironic.
I love it when women bring their cars to my garage for repair.
I just tell them they need a new Froggle-splanget-murgle-intictor and they pay what I want.
Liverpool Community TV to be disbanded, or as we know it, Crimewatch.
Donald Trump is shtting enough bricks today to build his fcking wall.
I was approached by a charity worker
"I'm sorry to stop you sir." she said
"That's ok, you haven't" I replied as I carried on walking.
The UK is having a potato shortage due to the current heatwave, as potatoes can stop growing when the temperature rises about 25 degrees celsius.
The head of independent crisp makers Pipers has told the Sunday Times ‘there is a danger we will have a crisp crisis’.
A spokesperson from Walkers commented saying 'this won't effect us in any way, as we put no crisps in our bags'
"Woman abandoned as baby 80 years ago finds out who she is"
A pensioner.
I heard that the Chicago police department has replaced all their sirens to play The National Anthem to force suspects to stop and take a knee
I was reading today that Shark experts from around the world are meeting in Sydney to discuss ways to prevent casualties, after a rise in the number of attacks in recent months.
I'm no expert, but may i suggest not bloody swimming where sharks live is a good start.
"Britain’s top cop Cressida Dick wants tougher sentences to deter violent teens from criminal lifestyle"
How about "Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff was innoculated for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch"
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