99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant in town!
"Did you smell that food?" she asked.."it smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a kindhearted fella, he thought "what the hell..I'll treat her"
So he walked her past it again!!
I've just bought a bottle of head lice treatment but there's no instructions on how to use it.
It's left me scratching my head if I'm honest.
When I joined school, I was given an ebook reader instead of books.
I went to kindlegarten.
My nine year old son asked, "Dad, how many planets were there when you were at school?"
"I don't remember exactly," I replied, "but it was certainly greater than the number of genders back then."
Does anybody know anything about washing machines, mines going round but it won't pump any water out?
And another thing, I can't find my Hamster
My blonde girlfriend was solving the crossword in today’s newspaper.
She asked, “ What’s this.. A beverage, 3 letters and begins with T ?”
I said, “Tea?”
“Yes the first letter is T what are the other ones ?”
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