morning all...how are we today then?all good I hope..it poured down with rain yesterday ,,,and I opened the hutch and those 2 nutters came trundling out!it took me ages to get them back in ...then I went to the barbers ...yep dont laff ...a barbers!Istanbul barbers ...the last time I wasin one was in Fetiye in Turkey about 12 years ago ...so just fancied a wet shave with the ole cut throat razor...the average length a guy or a kid spends in the chair nowadays has seriously changed ..Mind you my hair cuts have mainly been of a one style ....a number one..Itwasnt as good as I thought ...in fact it bordered on rubbish ...so I wont be rushing back..I was on the treadmill for 3 x 20 min sessions ..I actually enjoy it ...especially with the telly on in front of it! Ive lost 6lb in 11 days ,I dont carry tunza fat anyway,but I want to lose a few more lbs
ok brew time it is..
hia Pauly hows you then today ?good I hope..Youwill understand what I mean about haircuts changing etc ..patterns designs etc ...some of them look a right mess but I guess Im no authority on haircuts ..howz things with your gang at work?hope you have a good day ...
hia Pie how are you?good I hope ....yeah no probs with the popping in with the jokes ...when you look at the views versus the posts I think a lot do the same..its nice to see just who is looking in now and again so come and say hello too..Its quite difficult with the jokes ..a lot of them I have got to think are they offensive ..would they offend any partickler creed colour race ..not everyone has the same twisted humour as me ..so it does take time ...and of course there are days when it is tuff to even smile ..far less anything else..in short ..yes no probs!!!have a lovely day.
hiya tree ....on Long Island with the movers n shakers hope you are getting sorted ...its dark o clock about 4 here...all the best to you .
hiya ppqp...so a quiet day at work...I wonder ...was that because you were the only one in or were the rest of the "workforce"in too?hope ypu have the rest of the week as peaceful ..no I dont like lamb either ..
hiya Lav ....how are you then? good I hope ...strangely enough I was looking at black bean spaghetti yesterday!Im still scratching my head over what to do with the greenhouse ...whether to put raised beds in it or not ..there are pros and cons for both .Yep weve got a good Chinatown in Manchester ....plus the Curry mile in Manchester too ...it is fantastic for ruby murrays.......have a great day..
right lets get some jokes out..
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
St. Atue The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time.
The children wanted my wife to wake up with a smile on her face this morning.
Now they are no longer allowed sharpies in the house anymore.
I was reading there are an infinite number of Universes in the Multiverse. But you can’t travel to or communicate with them.
Which is a huge relief for me as they managed to lose my bags on a trip from Glasgow to Heathrow never mind going to another fcking Universe.
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old grand-daughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole!" afterwards.
Earl was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
A man goes to the doctor after feeling unwell for some time, after a series of the tests the doctor tells him it's very bad news, that he has an incurable disease called yellow 24.
He tells the man that he could be struck down at anytime, that the first symptoms would be the man would turn yellow and then within 24 hours he would be dead. The man is obviously devastated, but the doctor can do nothing and advises the man he makes a will and makes his peace with the world.
The man returns home and tells his wife, who is shocked to hear the news and breaks down crying.
The man consoles her by saying that he had always tried to be a good husband, but if there was anything he had done that might cause her regret, then he would like to make it up to her.
She tells him that indeed he had been a good husband, but one thing that had always upset her was that he had always made fun of her one interest in life, going to the bingo.
The man says that he was sorry for making fun of her and that he would accompany her to the bingo that night to show how much he cared for her.
So there they are together at the bingo, the man has his bingo card in front of him and as the callers shouts out the numbers he starts marking them off, first he gets all four corners, he wins £25. then he gets a line of numbers, he wins £50. then he gets a full house, he wins £500. then his card comes up on the national draw and he wins £100,000!
The man goes up to the caller to collect his prize money and the caller says to him
"I have never seen anything like this before, it's incredible, you must be the luckiest man alive"
"you've got to be kidding" the man says "I've got yellow 24"
"unf##king believable!" says the caller "you've won the raffle too!"
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