Before the 5p bag tax we used the bags as bin liners in the kitchen bin.
Now we buy plastic bin liner bags .
Cutting down our plastic bag usage by 0%
Well done the government the planet is safer in your hands.
I took my car in for a service today.
Boy was the minister seriously fcked off.
I just rang the emergency services and said, "There's just been an explosion at the prosthetic limb factory where I work..!"
They asked, "Is it bad, sir?"
I said, "Don't worry, it looks a lot worse than it is."
London has become a far safer place for everybody overnight with terrible deaths
and carnage being prevented from happening in the future.
Prince Philip has surrendered his driving licence.
I think I have equine flu.
I don't know how though.
The only thing I've eaten different recently is some old Tesco burgers.
I bought a size 30 dress for the wife's Birthday.
"Nice dress", said the assistant.
"It's for the wife", I said.
She put it in a bag and asked,"will she need a hangar?"
"If she gets any fcking bigger she will," I replied.
Comment