17th Mar

[treegirl]

Re: 17th Mar

Mae all -

Mick, thanks for the boat-load of great jokes. Good luck packing, and wishing you a wonderful time in Sri Lanka!! I was there for just 1/2 day once - the massive horizontal buddhas and the elephant sanctuary stand out in my mind... have a wonderful time. (Thx for the good wishes, we are up and listed now).

PPQ, so sorry for the disappointment and stress in your work. I hope it all turns out and that somebody listens!!! Why can't people just do their job and work as a team... you never know. Good luck with a resolution.

Lav, wow you are doing super-grandma duty - those are lucky kids. So sorry to hear about the loss of your broom and cherry, this has been such a hard winter everywhere. We are getting part of your storm today, plus one off of the coast... 2-6 inches... just after I got all the deck stuff out and pretty, oh well! Supposed to be 60 on Sunday.

Det, your life sounds very busy and good. Sorry about the stinky apartment, I hope that it is coming along. Remember that baking soda is also a great cleaner and de-smellifier. Happy good coffee drinking! Good for you for sticking with your meditation work. I rarely use dishes anymore, just eat out of the pot, was the utensils and put them back, easy-peasy...

Pauly, good to hear about the boys, I hope the Karate keeps going. Also good luck on the job hunt; change is hard, but worth it!

SK, how are you doing? Hoping to hear how things are in Misty-world.

Sam, congrats on the dry fields - just in the nick of time! I am working on taxes today, hoping to get them to the accountant (electronically) by tomorrow. Good luck.

Pi - hope all is well.

House listed. Last week we heard that an apartment complex that we were thinking of has the right apartment for us (first floor, close to an exit, good for a dog with a bum leg) so we are doing the application. June 1st move in, so that works for our wacky summer plans even though we won't be in the apartment for most of the summer. I think the Universe is giving us good energy; we are just trying to keep up... I am tired, and sometimes a little down, but am actively working to keep myself in a good place.

Blessings on all -

[treegirl]

Re: 17th Mar

X-post Pauly! Take good care of yourself!

[Mick]

Re: 17th Mar

hiya all...krazee day .... cleaned hutch out ,all stuff to tip,last minute shopping doe ,rabbits to rabbit towers! tidy up ,,,Julie up at Amys ..house tidied up ...cases packed now..all done for the offski...feeling weary ..will be an early night ..off at 9am tomorrow..
hiya tg ...yep we are going to the hefelump place ..also into the hills on a train .....

a big hello to everyone else ...as I say ...will try and keep in touch when Im away ..dont know how good tinternet is ..

My wife asked me earlier before going to the hairdressers "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"

"A fcking power cut" ....was apparently was the wrong answer!

When I was out today I saw a phone on the table outside a coffee shop that had been left there.

I pocketed it.

It started to ring.

I took it out of my pocket and the caller I.D. said 'Mum'.

I put it back on the table and slowly backed away.

How the feck did she know I was up to no good?

I went to a faith healer last night and he was fcking crap even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out!

After losing 3-0 to 117th in the world Kazakhstan , Scotland players have been told by Nicola Sturgeon that they now have the same citizenship status as Shamima Begum.

Just seen a noun made of cement.

Announcement

My son said, “Dad, there’s something I have to tell you. I’m gay.”

I said, “I don’t think so.”

He said, “What? That I’m not gay?”

I said, “No, that I’m your dad.”

i was lost and deep in the desert and started to feel very thirsty, so I peed into a bottle and began drinking my own urine !

A few minutes later though, when I found the bus, the Pyramids tour guide said to me, "Mate, we have some gatorades in the cooler !"

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What's wrong?"

The depressed one replied, "I've been married four times and every one of my husbands has passed away."

The other lady asked, "What did they used to do?"

The depressed lady replied, "Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician."

And the other said, "Oh, I see, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go...

[Mick]

Re: 17th Mar

Blind Love: Golden Retriever Gets His Own 'Seeing-Eye' Puppy - NBC 1 Philadelphia

[paulywogg]

Re: 17th Mar

I love that Mick,thank you

[porqoui]

Re: 17th Mar

MAE ALL….ok back to word as I just lost my post!

Lav…hope you were able to get some rest last night.

Pauly…garden meeting was short and sweet, just the way I like it. These AGM’s seem like a waste of time but since we handle member’s money they have a right to the financials.

TG…they listened! :yay: The president of the board called me last night to say there is no way I will be allowed to resign. If it comes to that the prog coord will be let go. He and the other board member are working on a plan to resolve things one way or the other. I’m so much more un-angry LOL and feeling pretty good about the value they put on me. Sounds like the universe is on your side these days. You put in a lot of work and I’m sure it’ll all pay off.

Mick…I bet you’re weary! Hope you’re able to get some rest tonight. I love the video you shared. Safe travels and have a great time.

Det…I like TG’s new eating habit, sounds just about right for you at the moment.

Shout out to the rest of the gang. Off to see what I can scrounge out of the fridge for dinner....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: 17th Mar

Good evening Abbers,

We're under a severe wind advisory today & tomorrow & windy it is!!! We drove by a house today where the homeowner is in the process of building a new garage. He had gotten as far as framing it & nailing on the plywood. He had his big expensive truck parked 'inside' & guess what? The wind brought the whole thing down on his truck ~ what a mess.
I am waiting for Sunday's decent weather to move the chicks out to their new house. The nights are only supposed to go down to the 40's so they won't freeze to death.

Mick, wishing you a wonderful & safe trip. Can't wait to hear all about Sri Lanka

PQ, nice that you have finally been heard!!! Good for you & I hope they come thru with their promises. It's true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, LOL

Pauly, what's happening in your world?

Cyn, we had a hail storm at dinner time but it was brief. The wind chill today is at 31 or so, brrr!! Sunday is going to be nice here as well.
Don't worry about snow on the deck, you are not in charge of the weather, right?
Great that you found a place you like, I hope it works out for you.

Hello to Det, Pie, Sam & SK.

I saw the story about the Golden Retriever on the local news tonight. They are the best dogs, wouldn't mind having another. I will be watching my son's dog for a week next month, I enjoy having her here.
I hope everyone has a nice night!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: 17th Mar

hiya folks ..well up bright n early ..went to feed the rabbits ...but they are having a lie in elsewhere on holiday..Everything done packed ready to go ..so I wish you all the best ..if theres an internet connection I will be on it ...take care lovely people .

Starting the car for the long trip back into the city, John and Dave said their final good-byes to their good friend, Robert.

"Thanks for puttin' us up for the weekend, pals," said John. "The food was great, the booze and dope were superb, and I really enjoyed screwing your wife".

Shortly after hitting the road, Dave turned to John and said, "I hope you weren't serious about enjoying screwing his wife!"

"No, I can't say that I enjoyed it," replied John, "but I didn't want to hurt Robert's feelings..."

A veterinarian surgeon had a bad day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner. After dinner, they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang.

"Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.

"Yes, it is," replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"

"Well, sort of," said the elderly lady, "There's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating, and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?"

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied, "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone."

"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"

"Well, it should," said the vet, "It stopped ME!"

An elderly gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here... you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"

The heads of all the patients in the waiting room snapped around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman God of Wine.


Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:-

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter.

The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second questions after a night out, 'How did I spend so much money?'

Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top of your head.

An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments in Time) add-on that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite often lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.

Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the >Scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.

For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.

The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters i s the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.


P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman pockets the coin and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."


Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool.

When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said, "Did you notice the small d.cks on the rich kids"?

The other answered,"Yeah. It's probably because they have real toys to play with"!

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What's wrong?"

The depressed one replied, "I've been married four times and every one of my husbands has passed away."

The other lady asked, "What did they used to do?"

The depressed lady replied, "Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician."

And the other said, "Oh, I see, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go...

[paulywogg]

Re: 17th Mar

Mae everybody,Bon voyage Mick! Hope you have a wonderful time PQ,glad things seem to be on the up and up at work,Lav,that's terrible about the truck,what a thing to happen! So the chicks will be going outside this week sometime? We're supposed to be up close to 80's this week we shall see,Cyn, always great to read your posts,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Saturday!

[Determinator]

Re: 17th Mar

Happy Sat ABeroooodahs near and far!

Mick, happy travels matey! seems not long ago that Sri Lanka was rife with chaos and fighting but now things are pretty calm which is wonderful to see.
photo of you feeding one of the giant Buddhas? that would be cute.

PPQ, being un-angry is indeed a good sign

TG new eating habit? sorry i didn't catch that one?

IP report! works like a champ and too cool. I didn't even read the instructions and made a super good bean/pork/veggie curry last night. Normally the beans take
a lot of soaking and cooking time but not on the pressure cooking method. so handy!

Pauly, still on the hunt for a side-hustle job?

heading over to my uncle's place this morning to help his family with their move. Looks like free weightlifting day.

Off to fire up the Baratza conical burr-grinder to make another batch of java. Nope, no decaf here!

be well loves

[Lavande]

Re: 17th Mar

Greetings Abbers,

Mick, I hope you have arrived at your destination safely. Wishing you a marvelous time

Det, great job on the IP, yay!!!
I used mine tonight, I'm definitely hooked Hope you day of weight lifting went well.

Pauly, tomorrow it's supposed to be near 60 degrees & without all this crazy wind so I will move the kids out to the big house in the kiddy section, Lol
I hope your day was good!

Hello to Cyn, PQ, Sam, Pie & SK.
Nothing else going on here, just quiet.

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[Mick]

Re: 17th Mar

Hi folks just arrived..shattered but you want to see this hotel

20190324_091120.jpg

This is the hotel wifi..my own caned me 50 bus for about 5 mins..will check in when I can