Oct 13th

[porqoui]

MAE ALL...

Kicking off this weeks thread. Coffee's on, turkey in the oven (for my Canadian Thanksgiving) and pumpkin pies to follow. I'll save some for you all....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: Oct 13th

Good evening Abbers,

Nice fall-like day today, yay!
My oldest grandson was here for about 6-7000 calories I think, haha! He is on a continuous feed when he’s here. I’ll be hitting the supermarket tomorrow morning because both boys will be here tomorrow evening. It’s getting worse as they grow $$$.

PQ, I hope your Thanksgiving turkey was fabulous & the pies too

Hello to Mick, Cyn, Det & anyone else stopping by tonight.
Have a nice night everyone!

Lav

[Mick]

Re: Oct 13th

hiya all ...was out detecting yest...got absolutely soaked to the skin and then some ..and to top it all off we found nada...and the heater in the van decided to pack up that it wasnt playing ...but apart from that a day of extreme fun!hope you are all well .x

[porqoui]

Re: Oct 13th

MAE ALL...

No snow or rain showed up yesterday so it's a really nice fall day today. Going to see how far I walk without getting winded.

Mick...wrong weekend to head out detecting eh? Sorry about the heater in the van, your van? Glad you had fun anyways.

Have a great Monday for all of you who have to work....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: Oct 13th

Greetings friends,

My grandsons are supposed to be here but I guess they’re running late.
I have dinner waiting for them, staying warm in the IP

Mick, came home empty handed & cold yesterday, huh? Take care of yourself & that van heater.

PQ, glad you are doing well. Doing a little more each day is the way to go!

Hello to Cyn, Det, Pauly & anyone dropping by.
Have a nice night y’all.

Lav

[treegirl]

Re: Oct 13th

Hi all - just a quick hello and good night. Busy, busy days with hubs at home, aaaargh! More tomorrow, promise - PPQ, glad you had a good Thanksgiving - Lav, sounds like grocery shopping is what has to happen - Mick, sorry for the wet day. Wishing all well ---

[paulywogg]

Re: Oct 13th

Mae everybody,PQ,hope you had a nice Thanksgiving,I'm jealous you guys get yours earlier than us but also I don't wanna rush time haha,Lav,yep amazing how much these little boys can eat! Kells are odd tho cuz they'll eat like crazy one day then practically fast then back to eating,Mick, sorry about the cold but I'm with you even Romeo still isn't 100% yet he was a grump yesterday and just wanted me to hold him when I watched him so his dad could take Louie to the book fair at school,Cyn hope everything is going well with you,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Tuesday (or whatever hell day it is hahaha)

[Mick]

Re: Oct 13th

hiya all..how are you then ? all good I hope ...been a busy day ...was at the dentist ,then had to take van to garage ...its still in there now..hopefully cured tomorrow..rabbits are buzzing about like mad tthey love in the house in fact its a struggle to put them in their hutch outside...its so funny how they copy each other Jeeves now does the begging routine and follows you about just like madam.

hiya teegee busy busy ..welcome to the new style of life ....

hiya pauly how are you then? hope all is well with you...my bougie is doing ace now.

hiya lav how are you then ? you stock up on food now?ready for the next onslaught...



hiya ppqp...did you have a good thanksgiving?hope so ...how are you feeling now?hope all is ok

big shout to everyone..

A Scotsman walks in to an empty bar... because the Englishman, Irishman and Welshman are all still in Japan!

If we get the Voter ID law, Tower Hamlets might not get the 120% turnout for an election that it usually gets

Robert De Niro: Trump is too stupid to know he's evil.

Donald Trump: Roberdy who?

My wife said to me, "Darling, do you think my hair looks cute parted, and in pigtails ?"

"Dunno, I really wish you would just shave your chest."

BULGARIAN 'FANS': Show the world how sh.t your team is by trying to get a match abandoned. Failing that, get escorted out of the ground so you don't have to watch them.

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Jack Reacher handle this"?


My reality check bounced.


Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.


I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.


People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.


If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.


When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.


I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.


Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.


On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.


A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.


Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.


I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.


You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.


I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.


Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.


After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.


Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?


Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

On Saturday morning while driving, I stuck my arm out of the window to indicate I'm turning and someone stole my beer !!

Are You a Party Animal?

There's these animals in a restaurant that partied late into the nite.


The waiter comes over at the end of the night ...



The skunk says
'Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent'



The duck says
'Just put it on my bill'




The cow says
'You'll have to ask one of the udders'




The deer says
'I had a buck last week and I'm expecting a little doe soon'




The giraffe says
'Well, I guess the high balls are on me then'



The frog says,
"I've got one greenback"




The vampire bat is thinking,
"Which one can I stick for the drink today?"



The snake says,
I guess I can't hold my liquor.




Another snake says:
" If you think I'm paying that, you can kiss my Asp."



No, the snake said,
"It's hiss turn to pay."

The Rhinocerous says:
"Don't worry. When the waiter comes I'll just charge it."




The amoeba said,
"I've got to split now."




The paramecium said,
"I'll split it with him."




The groundhog said,
"If you let me go I shadow you a favor."




The turtle said,
"I shell pay next time."




The chicken said,
"I hope it's cheep."



The elephant said,
"But I've hardly trunk a drop."




The dachshund said,
"I've got be to getting a long now."




The manx cat said,
"I know you've probably heard this tail before, but I'm a little short."




The chicken said,
"If feather I pay it'll be a cold day in hell."



And the snail said,
"No, you shell out the same as me"!



And the trotters said
"take 50 cents from two quarterhorses".




The beaver said,
"Dam if I'll pay".




Ken said
"See Barbie 'bout a doll, her".




The cows said
"We got plenty o' mooolah".



The bumblebee said
"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzz
zzzzzz z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zzzzzzz off"



The zebra said,
"It's black and white--I haven't the money."




They each said,
"Ask some otter animal."




But the lion said,
"I'll pay--I've still got my pride

[Lavande]

Re: Oct 13th

Greetings Abbers,

Had lunch out with some old friends today & came away wondering - do we look as old as they do? Lol. Our kids went to school together when we were all much younger

‘I’ll have to ask the udders’ Mick, HA HA!!
Sounds like you had a pretty good day & I hope the van is feeling better.

Pauly, the boys will surprise you as they get older with bigger appetites, OMG. You have to wonder where they put it all, Lol

Cyn, you sound like your busy little self. Take a breath every now & then

Hello to Det, PQ & everyone.
Have a nice night all!

Lav

[porqoui]

Re: Oct 13th

MAE ALL...

Lav...so did the grandkids eventually show up yesterday or do you have an IP full of leftovers for dinner tonight? "Do we look as old as they do?" For some reason I found that quite funny. Did you come up with an answer?

TG...hope you're able to get some me time soon.

Pauly...it is nice to get Thanksgiving over and done with in October and then a break before having to get ready for Christmas. It's hard on you when the little guy isn't feeling well and only wants to be held. It wears you out. Hope he's feeling better soon.

Mick...yes had a very easy going Thanksgiving, thanks. I believe the dentist trip is just one of many. Hope the van heater doesn't cost too much to fix. I think it's cute that they copy each other and do you really blame them for not wanting to go outside?

May have over done it a bit over the long weekend and then work this morning. A little sore and feeling pretty tired so it's an early night for me. Have a peaceful evening all....:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: Oct 13th

Mae everybody,PQ, please take it easy friend,we don't want any setbacks Lav,when I go back home and see my old classmates I about shit my pants some look so old but they've also put on weight or smoke alot so I think that small town living takes a toll,like they care less about appearance cuz there's no where to go or people to see in a town of 4,000 people so they get lazy,Mick hope you're feeling ok,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Wednesday!!

[Mick]

Re: Oct 13th

mae all how are you today then? all good i hope.Well it hasnt rained today thankfully so managed to get a bit done ...Its supposed tp be a hard winter this year ,so Im actually making a hutch in the garage ..just in case...so its work on going..including cleaning up the litre of paint I spilled ....Got a rose today for Julie ..it took me just about 3 years to find it... called Jean ..in memory of her mum..also found one called Anthony in memory of her brother ..so best I look after them !ok lets go

hiya Pauly you ok?hope you are good ..as for folks looking old ..doesnt bother me ...I was born at an early age ,with no hair wrinkly and moaning ....so whats changed ? ha ha .

hiya ppqp how are you then? hope you are ok.take it easy .thankfully van is fixed at not a lot of spondoolicks..and the dentist visit went ok...and yes Isuppose I can agree with them not wanting to go out...

hiya Lav...hows you then today?hope all is well....Went up to my friends farm earlier ...wow she has grow some stuff in her polytunnel..including a 1.2 kg beef tomato ...grapes olives all sorts of stuff she has also got 2 horses ..27 sheep 4 cats 9 dogs 16 goats ,chickens doves hens and load of pheasant and american birds .Ill take some pics next time Im up there

hiya teegee how are you today?ok hopefully .

right folks its da jokes time



If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would have nothing today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have nothing today

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.

An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk"!

The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you"?

"I'm 98", the man announced proudly.

The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect"?

The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt"!

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less makes your life miserable . . . . .

A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park Avenue getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome, why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left bank called Teste . . . "

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot."

"The hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!"

"I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

"He said, 'Where'd you get the shitty hairdo?'"

Fifty Sheds of Grey
I don't know if any of you have read this book, if you haven’t, the following might give you an idea of what it is all about.




Fifty Sheds Of Grey


We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall...
but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.



She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
"I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me."
So I took her to McDonalds.



She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.



Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.



"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.
"Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.
"Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof."



"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished."
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.



"Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. "Harder!"
"Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?"



I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.



"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
"I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt.



"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
"Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."



"Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks."
She nodded.
"Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.



"Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!"
"Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.



"Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon.

He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist. "Could you taste this for me, please?"

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.

"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.

"No, not at all," says the chemist.

"Oh that's a relief." says Paddy,"The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."

The father was baby sitting while his wife went to a PTA meeting.

Later in the evening the father settled down to watch TV.

But little Johnny repeatedly kept coming down stairs and asking for a glass of water.

After the fifth glass,the dad lost his patience and yelled, "I'm trying to watch the TV. Now go back to bed".

“But Dad”, the little Johnny whined, "my room is still on fire"!

Little Johnny returned from the grocery store with his mom. While his mom put away the groceries, little Johnny opened his box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table.

"What are you doing" asked his mom?

"The box says you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken", said the little Johnny. "I'm looking for the broken seal".

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" Mean the same thing?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn’t "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

[Lavande]

Re: Oct 13th

Good evening Abbers,

Yes Mick, good vacuums really do suck, Ha ha!!!
Nice job finding the roses. I only have 1 rose here, we brought it with us from our old house. It was a mother’s day gift from the kids probably 30 years ago.

PQ, the boys never did get here Monday evening. Turns out my DIL didn’t realize that my son would be home in time to watch them before she had to go teach her evening class. So yes, I have leftovers
I hope you have gotten some rest, don’t push too hard :hug:

Pauly, it dawned on me this morning that part of my surprise was seeing both of our old friends had gone completely gray/white! Not one strand of hair color between them, haha! I swear I will continue to color my hair until I die. I do it myself at home, probably not more than 4x/year, cheap. When you have white hair & wear no makeup. Not even lipstick you kinda look like a corpse, LOL
I am not really to go there yet!!!

Hello to Det & Cyn & anyone stopping by. Hope Sam is not getting beaten up by this ‘bomb cyclone’ as the weather people about gabbing about onTV.
Have to take the flashlight & go close up the chicken house. Hope I don’t blow away!!!

Have a good night all!
Lav

[porqoui]

Re: Oct 13th

MAE ALL...

Pauly...I think you hit the nail on the head. When I was living out in Duchess my daily trip was to feed the cows and horses, didn't need to dress up for that, and yes I got lazy with my appearance. Moving back to the city and getting a job changed all that. Hope you had a good day.

Mick...a hutch in the garage sounds like a good idea. It's like they'll have their winter and summer houses but won't have to get shots when they travel. LOL "so its work on going..including cleaning up the litre of paint I spilled" :rotlf: Did that happen in the garage? When I read you got a rose for Julie I thought you got one rose for her, not a plant. Yes you better take care of those. Glad the van is fixed.

Lav...I was only kidding about the grandkids not showing up. LOL I think we're on the same schedule for coloring our hair. Haven't hear about the winds you're having, take care.

TG...they created an smiley just for you nthego: (on the go)

Have a nice night all...:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: Oct 13th

Mae everybody,just a quick flyby to say high back later