maeall ,,,howare we today then? all good I hope ..Remembrance Sunday, today is a very poignant day for a lot of us,each and every one of us has our thoughts on who or what we remember ..respect and thanks .
Pretty cold out there ,but done a good bit in the greenhouse ...no never went detecting .In the garage I had a waterproof top sheet I found somewhere in the past.it is no longer waterproof ...I watched Jeeves biting into it ..so I thought I would check the rest of it..it is a colander..thery have systematically been chewing it to bits!so it is now dump material.
ok brew time.
Hiya Lav ...glad you made a few bob yesterday,So Yb is chauffering the Amish around .its kind of weird how they operate ..its like Im not going to drink ...except when I need or want to !Yes I have been working on the road as little bit .It is so good getting into the minute detail.
Hiya Pauly..yep got the last of the meal and show bookings done today ..well Julie did ..I supervised ..a time consuming effort on my part.It was brill last time we were there .and this time will be no different .hope you have had a good weekend
hiya ppqp ..hows you then? did you get anywhere with the laptop?hope so ..How are you feeling?
hiya teegee you ok?
right peeps ..have a good one .
New technology moves too fast for me these days.
Just tried to wipe the dust off my phone's screen, and now I have a 12-month subscription to Netflix.
Before the crowbar was invented, crows used to drink at home
An old owl was perched on a tree on top of a hill one very cold night. He looked down in the valley and saw a light in a window so he decided to fly down to the window ledge in hopes there was some warmth escaping. Well sure enough it was warm, so he fell fast asleep. He didn’t know that there were two vetenary students inside studying for final exams.
The two vetenary students spotted the owl and decided to use him as practice. They eased the window open and gassed him.
The first student looked down the owls throat and said he has tonsillitis, so he operated.
The other looked at his butt and announced that the owl had hemorrhoids, so he operated.
They placed the owl back out on the ledge.
The owl woke up very groggy and flew away.
The next winter that same owl was perched on the same tree on a very cold night.
A young owl landed next to him and said brrrr it sure is cold out tonight.
The old owl agreed.
The young owl noticed there was a light down in the valley and suggested they both fly down there to the window ledge and maybe find some escaping heat.
The old owl replied "no way”, last year I did the same thing, passed out, woke up drunk and for the next six weeks I couldn’t sh,t worth a hoot or hoot worth a sh,t.
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me oryou don’t love me anymore; whatever! the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem.
During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related impedimenta.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
Ma and Pa Were Two Hillbillies Living out on a Farm Up in the Hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right?"
As she pulls up her panties she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"
Pretty cold out there ,but done a good bit in the greenhouse ...no never went detecting .In the garage I had a waterproof top sheet I found somewhere in the past.it is no longer waterproof ...I watched Jeeves biting into it ..so I thought I would check the rest of it..it is a colander..thery have systematically been chewing it to bits!so it is now dump material.
ok brew time.
Hiya Lav ...glad you made a few bob yesterday,So Yb is chauffering the Amish around .its kind of weird how they operate ..its like Im not going to drink ...except when I need or want to !Yes I have been working on the road as little bit .It is so good getting into the minute detail.
Hiya Pauly..yep got the last of the meal and show bookings done today ..well Julie did ..I supervised ..a time consuming effort on my part.It was brill last time we were there .and this time will be no different .hope you have had a good weekend
hiya ppqp ..hows you then? did you get anywhere with the laptop?hope so ..How are you feeling?
hiya teegee you ok?
right peeps ..have a good one .
New technology moves too fast for me these days.
Just tried to wipe the dust off my phone's screen, and now I have a 12-month subscription to Netflix.
Before the crowbar was invented, crows used to drink at home
An old owl was perched on a tree on top of a hill one very cold night. He looked down in the valley and saw a light in a window so he decided to fly down to the window ledge in hopes there was some warmth escaping. Well sure enough it was warm, so he fell fast asleep. He didn’t know that there were two vetenary students inside studying for final exams.
The two vetenary students spotted the owl and decided to use him as practice. They eased the window open and gassed him.
The first student looked down the owls throat and said he has tonsillitis, so he operated.
The other looked at his butt and announced that the owl had hemorrhoids, so he operated.
They placed the owl back out on the ledge.
The owl woke up very groggy and flew away.
The next winter that same owl was perched on the same tree on a very cold night.
A young owl landed next to him and said brrrr it sure is cold out tonight.
The old owl agreed.
The young owl noticed there was a light down in the valley and suggested they both fly down there to the window ledge and maybe find some escaping heat.
The old owl replied "no way”, last year I did the same thing, passed out, woke up drunk and for the next six weeks I couldn’t sh,t worth a hoot or hoot worth a sh,t.
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me oryou don’t love me anymore; whatever! the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem.
During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related impedimenta.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
Ma and Pa Were Two Hillbillies Living out on a Farm Up in the Hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right?"
As she pulls up her panties she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"
Comment