w/c 5/1

[treegirl]

Re: w/c 5/1

Mae all -

Super tired, somthis will be a short one - just walked in from two 10 hour + days, may hundreds of miles driven. God bless my dog who is such a sweet constant companion, even in the car.

Det - woo Hoo on 1year!! Congrats, and fabulous! I will look for your IG account. So sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis - I know you will find ways to help him, even from afar.

Mick, how are you feeling? I remember when I was in the U.K. In September there were lots of sign up for Sober October. And ther is lots going on here too - I just read about an app that helps "normal" drinkers observe their patterns. I think there is a lot of realization that AL is a wretched liquid mistake. Condolences on losing your friend... it hurts to lose someone that gave so much and was so generous.

PPQ, hope things don't get so cold! Yikes thats a big jump in temps.

Pauly, I liked Lav's observation - especially about a more even keeled space for the kids... ground rules would be crucial though!! Good luck.

Sam, enjoy your new cats wishing you some snow and hard ground for awhile.

I will post that Light discussion soon - really an eye-opener, so to speak.

[treegirl]

Re: w/c 5/1

PS, Lav, I sold my sewing machine when I moved... maybe there are knitted ones that could be made? I'll look for them... what a wonderful idea. Thx -

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 5/1

MAE ALL...

Pauly...I've been sneezing like crazy too but I don't think it's a cold. I think there's something floating around the community centre and when we have the furnaces running it distributes it all over the place. We need to pull up any and all carpeting in the building!

Mick...sorry the bodging diyer...isn't on youtube. He shows clips of them before his show starts. It's called Leave it to Bryan. He has other shows too. OK watched the video and concentrated....thank you very much. LOL

Lav...started snowing here around noon, nothing much and it ended around 4. Waiting for it to start up again and go through the night. Will be brushing off the car in freezing temps tomorrow morning. They keep changing the forecast and now Sunday's high is -13F. You can bet I'll be hibernating this weekend. I've seen a couple of news stories about the pouches, what a great idea and something almost anyone can do. I'm going through a flare up right now with psoriasis outbreaks on my hands. Keeping a close eye on my feet as I'm not going through another infection thank you very much. Not due for my injection till next week, thinking I might take it early.

TG...time for you to take a break me thinks. Not looking forward to the cold temps and hoping this cold snap doesn't last too long.

Shout out to Det and Sam. Have a good night all....:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 5/1

Mae everybody, Mick train looks ace! You really did a fab job on it PQ, sometimes I think it's my shop that's causing my chronic stuffy nose and sneezing, the building is old and the vents have never been cleaned, who knows what's lurking up there, hope you're feeling better, Cyn, oh hon you just sounded drained in your post, hope you got some rest, Lav, the joey pouches are cute what a great job you did, much love to all and wishes for a great BF Wednesday for us all

[Mick]

Re: w/c 5/1

hiya all ...how are we today then? good I hope..just been heightening the side gate at the house ..I was hoovering the car on the front drive when I saw Bonnie sat there .she jumped at least 3 ft...lets see if she can do 5ft!And yep been playing with the trains ..checking out all the engine on all the tracks both ways .Already hit a couple of probs.!

ok lets have afternoon tea .
Hiya Pauly hows you then? hope all is well .it could be all the crap thats given you all the ailments ,you never know...have a good day anyway.yep Im still snottery ..thought I had got rid but nope..

hiya tg ...you need that dawg not just to be a companion but also a co -driver !!yes over here it seems like realisation of booze issues are sinking in.he biggest boozers over here now they reckon is our generation .



hiya ppqp...how are you feeling today?hows psoriasis today?hope its ok.have you got the snow still?you and Lav can trade snow..Ill bow out ..just like these 2 have a great day...

Prince Harry and Meghan could move to Canada for 22 and ditch HRH titles after ‘feeling sidelined’ by royals – The Sun

hiya Lav ..your snow looks lovely ...in situ!Firstly well done to you with regards to the pouches...and thank you.Now they are talking about droughts in Oz and having to shoot the camels..what kind of people are we?jeez..Yep Merseyside is the county.another one in the law system..Julies dad ..ex prison service ..Julie prison service, me ex prison service nephew prison service ,nephew cops.anyway ..hope you have a good day.

Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of your life.

However, so was today and look how that fcking turned out.

My neighbor had 2 tickets for Coldplay in his car. Some idiot smashed his window and put another 4 tickets next to them.

How do you sell a deaf man a chicken? *leans in close* YOU WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

[treegirl]

Re: w/c 5/1

Mae all -

PPQ, sheesh, good luck with those temps and the snow, eek! Also hope that you get some relief for your hands, so sorry. Hang in there, only 2 days until the weekend!

Pauly, you are a dear - sorry that the sniffles are hanging around you. Maybe it is something chemical in the products? You've been around them a long time... maybe one is or rotating you? Whatever it is, good luck!

Lav, I haven't started any projects yet... I have to go to storage to assess what yarn I already have that might work. Your pouch looks great - and it is so needed... good for you. It I had a sewing machine I would do one of those as well as the bat wraps - aren't they adorable! Who knew teeny bats could be rescued? Just the lucky ones that aren't part of the half-billion that have already been lost... staggering.

Mick, can wait to hear how high bunny jumps next time! How are you feeling today? You sure are doing a lot for a sick kid!

Det, haven't looked for your site yet, but will. I hope that the jobs start flowing again since we are getting out of the holidays now...

Sam, hope the mud is staying away! Lots of flakes of snow roday, but no accumulation.

Will find the link to the Light talk, promise... in the meantime get out in the sun a bit - very healing!

Cheers -

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 5/1

Greetings friends!

Had several crazy snow squalls today. Heading down to 26 tonight so there will be icy spots. (Granny hip breakers) here & there! Then Saturday the temp hits 66 degrees!! How crazy is that?
Haven’t had a chance to get to the sewing machine yet today but heading there in a few minutes. I’ve read that they will be needing donations for a long time to come. Poor animals didn’t ask for this mess.

Cyn, you certainly should be tired after all that work & driving, geez. Take it easy so you don’t get sick, OK?
The folks with knitting needles & crochet hooks are coming up with some really nice pieces for the baby animals. Sit down, relax & knit something :hug:

PQ, sorry about the psoriasis flare. You don’t need that on top of everything else going on. Is there a protocol you follow when a flare starts up? I hope it doesn’t get too bad, geez.
Plan on staying inside this weekend for sure!

Pauly, I’ll have to talk you into doing some sewing. These pouches are very simple, great for beginners & easy for oldies like me
It’s a good skill to have & a great way to teach the young ones the importance of helping others. I donated dozens of quilt blocks to an organization that was putting together quilts to comfort the children who lost parents on 9/11. After hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans I sold embroidered T shirts on ebay & donated the proceeds to many organizations. It’s good to spend some time helping others & forgetting about yourself for a little while

Mick, I think Prince Harry & Meghan should go live wherever they want to live, don’t blame them a bit.
I read about possibly shooting the camels, how sad is that? This whole world just seems so sad these days.
I’m waiting to see if one of my grandsons will follow in the footsteps of their dad or grandfather - we shall see!
Your trains are so awesome, maybe you & Sir Rod can exchange some ideas, Lol

Hello to Det & Sam, hope all is well!

OK, off to do a bit of sewing before I get too tired.
Have a nice night all.

Lav

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 5/1

MAE ALL...

Pauly...I would believe it's the shop causing you problems, especially if the vents have never been cleaned.

Mick...didn't you raise that gate once already? I'm surprised she tried it while you were there to see. Didn't look like there was any problems when I watched the video but I'm sure there was more than what you posted. Started the year out right and played cards this afternoon, got to get that established. I'd welcome Harry and Meghan to Canada anytime. Hope you're sniffles leave soon.

TG...was really hoping we'd avoid the deep freeze this winter but apparently not. I'm debating on taking Friday off and stocking the house with good food for the weekend when our high is going to be -18F!

Lav...I'll take your 26 degrees. Going to be crazy weather patterns everywhere this year I think. I use a steroid cream when it flares up and it seems to work most of the time. If not then it's onto Methotrexate and I try to avoid that if I can. I definitely plan on staying in for the weekend. What a great idea selling your embroidered items and donating the money. You are such a good person.

Time to try and warm up. I think a big pot of spaghetti is in order. Have a good night all....:smile:PPQP

[Mick]

Re: w/c 5/1

afternoon all...how are we then today?all doing good I hope.Well...thought I had got rid of this cold ..alas ..not so..its hanging around like a bad smell.Its 13.45and pretty dark here.both rabbits are out playing ..its ok for them they eat carrots so can see in the dark...Ive been messig with the trains this morning for a little while ...checking all my track circuits and make sure every engine can go in either direction with any coaches .did you know a group of coaches is known as a rake..so bearing in mind I have 5 separate rakes ,and 7 locos and 4 circuits clockwise and anticlockwise so that is 280 different tests if my maths serves me right ..
The news over here is about Harry and Meghan binning off their royal titles etc and going to live in Canada and the Yoosa....Everyone is saying they should have asked the Queen and blah blah blah..Well guess what ..if the press hadnt hounded them ..just like they did with hs mother it wouldnt have happened ..its their life. for me ..best of luck to them..one life to live enjoy it

hiya ppqp...hows you then?a big pot of spag?that sounds tasty .Julie is off tomorrow ,so if the weather holds then we are going for a bit of a bimble.Yes I did raise the gate previously but not enough .

hiya Lav ,how are you then today? hope all is good with you.I agree ,let them livewhere they want and do what they want also.well done you for helping folk and animals (dont say that too quick ...ooops!)

hiya teegee how are things today?hope all is well.yep this rabbit jumps any higher and it will be entered for the Kentucky derby.Have you stopped travelling yet?

hiya pauly hows you then?all good ..I think this cold is bouncing between us here!have a pain free day at work.

right folks ...offski

Just broke down on the way home, and was looking at the engine when a jaguar pulled up.

I said "you know anything about cars mate?"

He said in a posh voice "no.... im a chiropodist"

I said "well you can give me a fcking toe then"

Now Prince Harry has given up royal duties, does that mean I am now one place closer to the throne?

Two old guys were chatting.....

One said to the other:

"My 75th birthday was yesterday.

The wife gave me a SUV".

Other guy responded:

"Wow, that's amazing!!.....

Imagine, an SUV!!..

What a great gift!"

First guy:

"Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as they gyrated to their own beat. The woman cocked her ear, “Quick! My husband’s coming through the front door! Hide in the bathroom!” she cried.

The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. “What are you doing lying on the bed naked?” he asked.

“Darling, I heard you coming up the drive and got ready to receive you,” she replied with a knowing smile.

“Great,” he said, “I’ll just step into the bathroom and I’ll be with you in two shakes.” Before she could stop him, he was into the bathroom where he found a man clapping his hands together in mid-air.

“Who the devil are you!” the husband demanded.

“I’m from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths,” the lover replied.

“But.. but you’ve got no clothes on?” stammered the husband.

The lover looked down and jumped backwards in surprise and said, “The little b,stards!”

Grandparents and Kids

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye..
.

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods". The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and G-d are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.


6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"


8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."


9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."


13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."


14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

Real Answers Taken over the Years on Larry Gogan’s Radio Show in Ireland.
Actual answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz.


1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword


2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon


3) Name the Capital of France? F


4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell


5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar


6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital


7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil


8) As happy as.... (Larry gave a hint - think of my name) A pig in sh*t


9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.


10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs


11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water


12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers ? A horse


13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair


14) A famous Royal ? Mail


15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings


16) A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters


17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet


18) Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate


19) A method of securing your home ? Put the kettle on


20) Something associated with pigs ? The Police


21) A sign of the Zodiac ? April


22) Something people might be allergic to ? Skiing


23) Something you do before you go to bed ? Sleep


24) Something you put on walls ? A roof


25) Something Slippery ? A conman


26) A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish


27) A Jacket Potato topping ? Jam


28) A food that can be brown or white ? A potato


29) A famous Scotsman? Jock


30) A famous Scotsman? Vinnie Jones


31) Something you open other than a door ? Your bowels


32) What star do travelers follow? Joe Dolan

[Lavande]

Re: w/c 5/1

Good evening friends,

Still below freezing but not as windy so it’s bearable I guess. Had bonus sunshine today too
Still working on my sewing projects when I find a few free minutes. Sold another 10 dozen eggs to an Amish guy today. He was happy to get them & I’m happy having room in my spare fridge again, haha!!! My chickens haven’t slowed down production much this winter. I guess they’re happy!

Mick, some animals just don’t want to be contained. I once had a golden retriever who dug out a pit under the cyclone fence so he could squeeze himself out to go visit the next door neighbor, Lol.
Watching the news now & seeing video of the missile hitting the Ukrainian plane, how sad . We live in a real screwed up world these days.

PQ, right, i forgot about the steroid cream you used previously. I hope it does the job for you quickly.
Glad you got some card playing in you day, yay!! Stay warm or come here Saturday when it’s predicted to be 66!!

Cyn, I hope you got some down time today.
Boy, I’ve seen some really cool things knitted & crocheted by folks for the rescue groups. I never did learn to do that stuff, haha. I’m working with my sewing machine though & am getting stuff done.

Pauly, what’ sup with you?

Hello to Det & Sam.

Have a nice night all!
Lav

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 5/1

MAE ALL....man it's cold out there!

Mick...sorry you still have your cold but it sounds like you behaved yourself today. Not even going to check if you had your math right! Hope the weather holds up for your bimble with Julie tomorrow. I've decided to take tomorrow afternoon off. We're supposed to get a bit of a break weather wise so I'm heading to the grocery store to stock up for the weekend.

Lav...wonder why your chickens are happy and Sams' aren't. LOL We do get a lot of sun during the winter and it does help even if it is only mentally. Boy if I could swing it I'd be at your place bright and early Saturday morning. The cream seems to be working my hands are looking better. At least they're not getting worse.

Shout out to the rest of the gang wherever and whatever you're doing. Have a peaceful night all....:smile:PPQP

[treegirl]

Re: w/c 5/1

Mae all-

Lav, 10’dozen eggs! Wow... happy girls. I ate 2 eggs this morning that are from individual farms where the girls are all pastured... hard shells and bright yolks!! I haven’t crocheted since I was a kid, but those little nests look so great that I think that’s what I’ll go for... must get out tomorrow and buy light acrylic yarn. Love the things you are making!

Mick, enjoy your bimble tomorrow... I did a hike around the hilly sections of the complex yesterday, but ended up with sore knees, so I guess i’ll have to cool it for a bit, sigh.

PPQ, glad that your hands are better - and good plan getting supplies ahead. Wish I could send you some of the 60 degree weirdness i’ll be getting along with Lav...

Pauly, how’s things? Any decision about Kell? Good luck!

Det and Sam, wishing you well.

I didn’t sleep well last night, so I am propping my eyes open... hope to make it to 9!

Here’s to keeping the light in our hearts burning bright!

[paulywogg]

Re: w/c 5/1

Mae everybody, Mick I agree those two need to live their own life not what is expected by the Royal family, I wonder why they chose Canada? Det, now I want an indoor grill after seeing your post on IG Cyn, sorry about the sleep but full moon tomorrow, you know how we get, no still no decision from Kell, Lav, that's alot of eggs! PQ, glad the cream is working hope everyone has a nice sleep tonight

[Mick]

Re: w/c 5/1

afternoon all...how are we then?good I bhope ..well lovely day here today ,bit wet on the moors but nevertheless nice ...18.3 ks was a bit boggy in places but this isnt exactly the sunshine state with hard pack..still got the cold ,but you know the score ...despite being in mortal danger we soldier on ...sounds good means nowt .
Teegee well done on your wee bimble ,but take it easy ...at 32 you arent as young as you used to be ............................
ppqp ...so the twennytwenny card school is up and running is it? excellent ...dont ever let work get in the way!!!yes I behaved myself ..
hiya Pauly I agree...let them live where they want ..you want to see the telly over here ..lots of folk saying it isnt right blah blah but most saying let them live their life..looks like Canada and America they will be in ..Ha ha we send you Trumps mother first off.then you send us a princess in the making ...then we send you back her and an ex prince....hmm something got skewed along the way with the war of Independance .
Hiya Lav ...hows you then?ok ? still knitting furiously ...well done you.10 dozen eggs?wow thats a fair amount a serious omelette that is.yes it wassad about that plane ..isnt it amazing how little yooman life means.
We have just had an incident in a jail here ..5 officers stabbed /injured a couple seriously you wouldnt believe this ..in a nick?
Prisoners in fake bomb vests attack guards at HMP Whitemoor, sparking terror probe | UK News | Sky News personally I would give him the goodnight tablet

big shout to all the rest ...have a good weekend

Some people refuse to admit their faults.

I would, if I had any.

"Meghan and I simply wish to become self sufficient and use our time flying to and from North America."

(This announcement has been sponsored by Quartz Watches and Virgin Airlines)

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking"?

"Just water", says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine"?

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again"!

Little Johnny goes with his Mum to a beauty salon and sits next to her while the therapist starts her treatment.

As the beauty therapist smothers cream over the mothers face little Johnny watches closely, fascinated by the actions.

"What's the lady doing mummy" little Johnny asks?

"The lady is making me beautiful" replies his Mum.

The therapist then starts to remove the cream with cotton wool.

Little Johnny suddenly calls out "what's the matter Mum is she giving up"?

Bloke goes to the doctors, and says "doc, every time i fart, it makes a motorcycle noise".

"What, you mean vroom vroom"?

"No let me show you".

Proceeds to drop his strides and cuts one. It goes "HONDA"

Doctor says "thats unusual, do you mind if I examine you"?

"No, go ahead".

Doc examines the guy, sits back down and says "Ah yes i know what the problem is, you have an abscess in your bottom that's acting like a reed valve in a woodwind instrument, are you following me"?

"No can you explain it in lay-mans terms please"?

"Yep, you are living proof of the phrase abscess makes the fart go honda".

Just Fred Gets Stopped by the Traffic Police for Speeding

A California Highway Patrol Officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day, he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred", the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name"?

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know it's a funny last name, but kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I'm just Fred".

The officer walked away in tears from laughing so hard and tore up the ticket.

An Elderly Couple Were Celebrating Their Sixtieth Anniversary.

The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally".

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armotred car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty-thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We've got to give it back".

Sally said, "Finders keepers". She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI agents were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday"?

Sally said, "No".

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic".

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile".

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning".

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The other FBI agent turns to her partner and says, "We're outta here".


Wife Caught in the Act by Hubbie and Cabbie

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act.

For $100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tiptoe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the Corvette I gave you. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. HE paid for your season football tickets. HE paid for our house at the lake HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?

The cabby replies, 'I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches cold.'

Old Fred's hospital bed is surrounded by well-wishers, but it doesn't look good for him. Suddenly he motions frantically to the pastor for something to write on. The pastor lovingly hands him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred uses his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then dies. The pastor thinks it best not to look at the note right away, so he places it in his jacket pocket.

At Fred's funeral, as the pastor is finishing his eulogy, he realizes that he's wearing the jacket he was wearing when Fred died. "Fred handed me a note just before he died," he says. "I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration in it for us all".

Opening the note, he reads aloud, "Help! You're standing on my oxygen tube"!

[porqoui]

Re: w/c 5/1

Afternoon Mick and MAE to the rest....

Good to hear you behaved yourself. LOL It's not bad outside right now, bit of a chinook blowing through. It was a good plan to take the afternoon off. Got the supplies bought to hunker down for the weekend. I've even decided to cook a steak for my lunch today.

I'll check in later to see how everyone is doing. Have a good day....:smile:PPQP