hiya all...how are we today then? all good ...excellent ..kind of dull day over here ,definitely autumnal ,I have had to put my plum and apple trees which are in big pots outside on to top of other upside down pots ..why ? yup went out ths morning to find no lower branches on either ..and one grey and white bunny feeding herself ..and on a brighter note hopefully ..
The video the world has longed to see... Covid vaccines rolling off the production line | Daily Mail Online
hiya AJ...you ok ..? yes Bronte country is Yorkshire and carries on into Northumberland..I live on the Yorkshire Lancashire border like about 500 yards as the crow flies ...good for you ,glad you got out ...even the most resolute of us need do talk to others at times .I goggled Killiney Hill what cracking views .have a good afternoon .
Hiya Lav hows you then? good ..? see our politicians are no better than yours!so your gs is out egg collecting ?must be eggsasperating having to collecting your own meals pretty eggshausting work...I enjoyed the walk yesterday ..peace and solitude.. take care ..
hey ppqp ..hows you then?all good?hows the weather doing there ? you snowed in yet?take care anyway
hiya pauly ..you good girl?you up to anything today or is it a doss day?whatever you do hope you have fun ...stay safe
hiya pie ,sam etc hope all is well with you folks
121825651_2721813204700771_4416995925768187132_n.jpg
Nine medical tests you can do yourself.
Wander into the back garden and pee on your neighbour’s fence (again).
If it dries quickly, you have high sodium (salt) levels and pending heart problems.
If it attracts ants your sugar level is too high and you might be diabetic.
If your pee is dark and of limited quantity, you are dehydrated.
If your stream didn’t reach the fence, you have a prostrate problem.
If it is bright pink you have kidney problems.
If you forgot to get your knob out and you peed your pants, you may have Alzheimer’s.
If you missed the fence you have Parkinson’s.
If your stream smells meaty, your cholesterol level is far too high.
If you can’t smell your urine, you have Coronavirus.
I've heard from a reliable source that there is more bacteria on my kitchen work surfaces than there is on my toilet seat.
Note to self: Stop peeing in the sink.
Just went to the pub but I couldn't get drunk.
I think they're watering down the hand sanitiser.
How the Internet Was All Started, It is True, Honest!
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Mac Enron did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horse-fly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay," he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began.
At a posh Las Vegas casino, a blackjack dealer and a player with a 13 count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player says, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously has nothing to do with that either, so why should I tip him?"
The dealer replies, "When you eat at a restaurant do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes," the gambler concedes.
"Well then, he serves you food; whether it's good or bad isn't up to him. By the same token, I'm serving you cards, so you should tip me."
"OK," says the gambler, "but the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an 8."
An angry motorist went back to a garage where he'd purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier.
"Listen," the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"
"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."
An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"
The man asked the doctor what the problem was.
"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"
"No", replied the man.
"Do you drink in excess?"
"No"
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life"
Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half... the LOOKING or the THINKING?"
The video the world has longed to see... Covid vaccines rolling off the production line | Daily Mail Online
hiya AJ...you ok ..? yes Bronte country is Yorkshire and carries on into Northumberland..I live on the Yorkshire Lancashire border like about 500 yards as the crow flies ...good for you ,glad you got out ...even the most resolute of us need do talk to others at times .I goggled Killiney Hill what cracking views .have a good afternoon .
Hiya Lav hows you then? good ..? see our politicians are no better than yours!so your gs is out egg collecting ?must be eggsasperating having to collecting your own meals pretty eggshausting work...I enjoyed the walk yesterday ..peace and solitude.. take care ..
hey ppqp ..hows you then?all good?hows the weather doing there ? you snowed in yet?take care anyway
hiya pauly ..you good girl?you up to anything today or is it a doss day?whatever you do hope you have fun ...stay safe
hiya pie ,sam etc hope all is well with you folks
121825651_2721813204700771_4416995925768187132_n.jpg
Nine medical tests you can do yourself.
Wander into the back garden and pee on your neighbour’s fence (again).
If it dries quickly, you have high sodium (salt) levels and pending heart problems.
If it attracts ants your sugar level is too high and you might be diabetic.
If your pee is dark and of limited quantity, you are dehydrated.
If your stream didn’t reach the fence, you have a prostrate problem.
If it is bright pink you have kidney problems.
If you forgot to get your knob out and you peed your pants, you may have Alzheimer’s.
If you missed the fence you have Parkinson’s.
If your stream smells meaty, your cholesterol level is far too high.
If you can’t smell your urine, you have Coronavirus.
I've heard from a reliable source that there is more bacteria on my kitchen work surfaces than there is on my toilet seat.
Note to self: Stop peeing in the sink.
Just went to the pub but I couldn't get drunk.
I think they're watering down the hand sanitiser.
How the Internet Was All Started, It is True, Honest!
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Mac Enron did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horse-fly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay," he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began.
At a posh Las Vegas casino, a blackjack dealer and a player with a 13 count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player says, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously has nothing to do with that either, so why should I tip him?"
The dealer replies, "When you eat at a restaurant do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes," the gambler concedes.
"Well then, he serves you food; whether it's good or bad isn't up to him. By the same token, I'm serving you cards, so you should tip me."
"OK," says the gambler, "but the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an 8."
An angry motorist went back to a garage where he'd purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier.
"Listen," the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"
"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."
An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"
The man asked the doctor what the problem was.
"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"
"No", replied the man.
"Do you drink in excess?"
"No"
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life"
Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half... the LOOKING or the THINKING?"
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