And good afternoon everyone hope we are all well? I'm just finished now since early o clock this morning.. but I've managed to get a load of jobs done never mind brownie points I think I'll be getting a saint hood. A Funny Thing Happened this morning very early about 2 a.m. i. heard a noise downstairs outside on the drive immediately thought somebody was trying to break into the van so I shot downstairs and through the glass panel at the bottom door I saw a light. bearing in mind that this moment all I'm wearing is the underpants from my Superman outfit haha I got to the door. At our front door on the side wall there is a cabinet in which there is a display of stoneware early ginger beer bottles. I grabbed one of the bottles unlock the door and for some reason stopped look down at the doorstep two bottles of milk a loaf bread and eggs, it was the milkman ...about 2 months ago they came round the doors canvassing to get work for the local farmers support them and also get rid of the plastic bottles etc Julie signed up to.. I remember her doing so but forgot about the first delivery which was early this morning so there's me like an idiot in underpants with bottle in hand and a cheery smile to the milkman. How to be a muppet in one easy lesson!
Couldn't quite reach the top of the stairs to touch up ceiling so I came up with this invention
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Hiya Sam that joke just about sums it up how you doing my friend hope everything is ok with you
Hiya Pauly.. great to hear from you hope ...everything is well I'm sure I have already found a solution. two trees that she had a crack at earlier on I cut two plastic lemonade bottles wrapped themaround the tree to protect the body she has been nowhere near it so that may be the answer. you look after yourself and yours hope everything is going good
wow arent you spoiled Lav...no meal or getting dolled up ....truck ride for cowshit ....sounds like my kind of stunt .all that rubbish about the astra zeneca vaccine...tonight the world health organisation,the european one and the uk one have all agreed that there is no link between the blood clots and the drug
AstraZeneca: UK and EU clot reviews confirm safety of vaccine - BBC News
how many vaccines were wasted through this ..politically immoral .
hiya ppqp ...hows you then ?ok ..childcare stuff going ok?hows the weather doing?have you got the pennsylvanian sunshine too?hee hee ,,,,
teegee how are you ?are youcoping ok?I hope so ...take care
right folks take care ....
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The English hobo had been hopping on trains for three days.
Arrived at this quaint village and decided to stop for a bite.
Stopped in front of "GEORGE AND THE DRAGON", a pub that had just closed for the afternoon.
He knocked at the door and a barmaid opened.
"Luv, I've been on the road, have no money and haven't eaten for three days. Could you spare...."
"You useless bum!! GET LOST" and slammed the door in the hobo's face.
Undaunted, he knocks again and before the barmaid could say anything..
"I'd like a word with George, please".
Ten Thoughts to Ponder
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2010
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
...a note of caution. 'You don't want to try these techniques at home'.
'Why not' asked someone from the back of the audience? 'I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years', the expert explained.
'She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once'?'
The voice from the back asked, 'Did it save time'?
The expert replied, 'Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.
Usa States and Their Mottos
Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: Jeez, it’s cold.
Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don’t Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: Where one of your dad’s friends lives
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl – It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si’ Hablo Ing’les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family – Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men (And The Sheep Are Scared)
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