hiya Lav ,hows you then? well done for getting Daisy to use the litter box.maybe you could put some kitty food in her path outside?hope all is good .have a nice weekend .
hiya ppqp...how are you today then? hope all is good .I still had to give Jeeves his meds yesterday,.Dont know what caused it but if its free Ill have it!!Hope your weekend is going good? and no hassle from work.
hiya teegee ....how are you doing? hope all is good with you .are you travelling or resting?
hi slo ...how are you doing? how is the knee doing?hope you are having a decent weekend...are you babysitting?
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
… but then I turned myself around.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
“Oops!”
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger…
And then it hit me.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
“Robin, get in the car.”
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That’s just how I roll.
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.
Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
Have you heard the one about the bad pole-vaulter?
It never goes over very well.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
I own the world’s worst thesaurus.
Not only is it awful, it’s awful.
So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?
It’s not the end of the world.
What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.
Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.
I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.
But I laugh more.
What’s red and shaped like a bucket?
A blue bucket painted red.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fssshh.
Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
I still remember what my grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket:
“How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear
A limbo champion walks into a bar
They are disqualified.
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill?
Walking… jk, rolling.
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