16th July

[Slo]

Re: 16th July

Hello everyone,

Done with my two fun but exhausting days with grandchildren! It is so fun to hug that little Huxley, and that little Cooper with his mop of curly dark hair and chin dimple is just adorable lately! So kissable & cute. Beckett & I made banana bread together. Beckett & Mabel both enjoyed their swim classes, Beckett learned about basketball in Toddler Sports, we got the dog and the kids out for a walk to the park this morning.

Your kitchen is stunning, Mick! Very lovely.
My condo is getting some interior painting done this week! It is looking so much warmer and not so institutional now.
Well, the got the A/C fixed in my car.
My faves are the Whitney Houston and Julie Andrews ones. And maybe the one about the prostitute doing the kitchen worktops?did you make that one up?

I did get my bike ride in that day, later in the evening!

You got yourself a 4-day weekend, PQ! Too bad about all the infighting & drama at work?typical though. And you are staying above the battleground!

TG, sorry you?re nostalgic for your country home in Connecticut. Such a change you have been through. As I recall, though; that house required an awful lot of yard work.
I understand: I can?t stay up late anymore either.

I?m calling it a night now!

[wagmor]

Re: 16th July

MAE all,

PQ - congrats on the 4-day weekend, even though it doesn't sound like you planned it that way intentionally!

Mick - more great jokes, thanks! Hope you got your AC fixed no problem.

Lav - I'll def make sure my dad's Advanced Directive is followed. That's horrible that it's ever an issue if the person's wishes are known. Please do try to track down Ava and let her know we miss her. I'd love to see her pop in here even if just from time to time.

Slo - sounds like a wonderful time with your grandkids. It's obvious you love and enjoy them very much. Hooray for getting your bike ride in!

TG - I loved Julie Andrews as a child as well. I thought she was beautiful and so talented, and she always seemed so kind.

Pi - good to see you


I did not go visit my dad today after all. I had a very full morning of teaching for almost 4 hours non-stop, and by the time I finished I needed some "me" time. Tomorrow is an easier work day so I'll visit him then. Still no new phone calls from care staff so hopefully that means things have stabilized for him.

Hellos and waves to anyone I missed. See you all tomorrow!

[Mick]

Re: 16th July

mae all ,how are we doing then? hope all is well.got the air con fixed on the van yesterday ,a decent drive up there.Pouring with rain but then it cleared up a bit ..we are definitely not getting the hot temps of the world thankfully ..we whinge and moan here about the weather but in fairness dont do bad ..it isnt the weather thats wrong ...simply the clothes you wear.Put the final coat on the kitchen and sealed it last night at 11pm!!job done .Im also redoing the front garden..previously the bed ,was covered in gold chipping stones .but I went to put some plants in and the depth of stone to get to soil was about 6 inches ..started taking all the stone out last night before rain stopped play.Im aching this morning ...so far Ive taken out over a ton of stone .I am going to replace it with top soil..Ive wanted to do it for ages.today is a rest day for me.whatever that means!!!!
Yes strangely enough I do shiny!

ppqp...go for it ..have a long weekend good for you.worktops turned out ok ,and the journey to Preston was a decent run too..apart from one eejit who doesnt know what indicators mean!I hope you have a decent weekend ...what kind of dog has your brother got?

hiya Lav ...how are you doing? hope all is well..do you want me to send you some weather?.....we have got a fair bit of rain.

hiya pie how are you doing? hope all is good with you ....

right folks on with the show ...take care and have a good day ...

hiya wags how are you doing today then? hope all is well with you.You work on the same premise as we do ...no phone calls ...Julie went to see her dad yest afternoon ..he had a mood on him and refused to get out of bed ..Julie got him up .the care assistants must have the patience of a saint .hope all is well with your dad .

hiya Slo ..sounds like you had a good time ...hope all is well with you ...I "modified" the hooker joke .how is the knee nowadays?

teegee..good morning to you.hope all is well.have you had a look on you tube for those films?I found this one for you ..it has subtitles (grrrr) but is in English .

https://youtu.be/edOIkL1zhbU?list=PLcXLoLdePpTDlYdCydNEnrvDDOiGnTMCI

Im sure the rest must be somewhere on the tinternet

[NoSugar]

Re: 16th July

Hi, all.

I LOVED Mary Poppins, also. Going to the movie theater was a big deal for our family which wasn't brimming with money but they let me see that one TWICE. I cried after the second time and my mom thought she was reassuring me when she said that it would be back in 7 years, which used to be the timeframe for Disney to re-release movies. I often think of that when my grandsons watch the same TV show or movie over and over and over! Learning patience is going to be tricky for them in this time of easy instant gratification.

I had to be the "tough one" with some of the end of life issues with my mom. My dad and sister had a hard time giving up the idea of life at any cost. During one major surgery I got them to agree to a DNR but unfortunately, we happened to be in a Catholic hospital and the surgeon refused to do the very necessary surgery if there was a DNR b/c according to him, "no one dies on my operating table". Very frustrating.

I'm leaning towards taking the editing job I've been offered. It actually sounds interesting and is of limited scope --not a big commitment at all. It might feel good to use that part of my brain again!!

[Lavande]

Re: 16th July

Good evening friends,

We’ve had a day of clouds, extreme humidity, rain & now sun. We run the whole gamut in. Less than 12 hrs haha!!
All of my new computer parts have arrived, now I just need YB to figure them out. That’s out of my league, Lol. Once that’s all set up I’ll download the new embroidery software & hope to hell I can figure it out. I’ve been using. The original software since 2003 & a lot has changed. I think I’ll need a few good wishes to help me along if you can spare one or two

PQ, good job securing the 4 day weekend, that rocks!!
Less smoke in the air today thanks to the rain I guess. I have been crazy busy stitching for the next craft event which seems like a long time away but time flies when you’re busy, right?

Cyn, the nurse has always been the first line of defense & will advocate for her/his patient until the cows come home. The advanced care directive is the FIRST piece of paper in the front of the patient’s chart but that doesn’t guarantee anything. Someone needs to speak up for these people & it seems it’s usually the tired, beat up nurse. You have no idea how much flak we took from the docs, it does wear thin. But in the end the patient’s wishes come first@!

Slo, sounds like you had a busy few days, good for you! You will remember these days for a long time to come. I miss that now that mine are grown but time does move on. So are you choosing colors for your new paint? I hated the stark white paint on everything when we moved in & was told to wait 1 year before painting. I love lots of color

Mick, I think we’ve had plenty of rain but none of the ferocious storms that hitting some areas real hard.
I can’t believe you’re moving all that stone!!! Rest your old self, OK?

NS, I agree the kids these days don’t seem to have to wait for anything they want to see. It’s a different world for sure.
Good luck with the job offer, sounds like something you might enjoy!

Hello to the rest of the crew & hoping we all have a nice night!
Lav

[porqoui]

Re: 16th July

MAE ALL?boss back, accountant back and the drama escalated. OMG thought they were going to come to blows at one point. Boss said he decided if she was going to dish it out, she could have it right back. We?ve been waiting for the accountant to submit her needs for the new CRM (customer relationship management) program and decided F it. He and I will make all the decisions and go ahead with the onboarding. Finally, a decision. We should have been on this last month.

TG?you?re welcome and thanks. It was a nice surprise when I realized I?d booked the Monday off as well. LOL I was a big Julie Andrews fan too. 9pm is my bedtime if I make it that far.

Slo?it does sound like you have fun with the grandchildren. What a great time in their lives for you to be a part of it. Not only will you cherish the memories, but they will too. I?m managing to stay above the battleground, I?ve had my share of drama with the last General Manager and look who?s still standing. LOL I just hope everyone can sort things out soon as it does make it uncomfortable for all.

Wags?those are the best 4-day weekends, the unplanned for ones. I think I have another one coming up in August, I must look at my vacation calendar. LOL Sorry about the struggles with your Dad but you?re sounding strong in your conviction to have your Dad?s wishes followed. Glad you took some ?me? time for yourself today, and with an easier workload tomorrow you?ll be in a better mind space to visit tomorrow. I?d go with the ?no news is good news? theory as far as no phone calls.

Mick?good job on the fixed air con and glad it was a decent drive for you. There?s always eejit?s on the road! I agree about the weather, like here all in all it?s better than other places. Nice the kitchen job is done but now it sounds like your next project is going to be a back breaker. You be smart while removing all that stone. I knew someone would eventually ask me what kind of dog my brother has. Haha I believe their dog, Barney, is a shih tzu who just loves me. He?s been with them many years. They inherited their daughter?s rescue dog when she had twins and moved to BC. Not sure what breed Whikka is but he?s huge, short haired and loves cuddles. This will be the first time I dog him so we shall see.

NS?not sure I read about the editing job, I?ll have to read back. As long as it?s not a big commitment might be the way to go to get that part of the brain working again. LOL

Lav?you can?t run the whole gamut if you don?t have snow. Just saying. How exciting and scary, new computer parts! Sending lots of good wishes and will continue to do so while you figure it all out. I?m sure you?ll love all the new stitches that will be available. We?ve had less smoke here with the pop up thundershowers but those are over with and you can see it starting to drift back in. If I remember your craft fair is in Sep? I?ve been getting more and more vendor inquiries for my Nov fair so now that I?ve got the fall programing done will turn my attention to that.

Son has offered to BBQ porkchops tonight so must get on with all the rest of the cooking. Shout out to everyone else. Have a good night all?:smile:PPQP

[Slo]

Re: 16th July

MAE to all; for most of us it’s E (evening):

The main room / great room of my condo is all painted now, and it looks great and warm and pulled together now! -a mellow yellow/gold, a warm gray that reads more like putty or green depending on the light, and a “rain-washed” blue. The kitchen island is a yellow/tan color now, instead of white like the cabinets.

Yes, PQ; you had enough drama with the last boss! Now just stay out of the fray. I’m glad you & Boss can move ahead with that project instead of waiting any longer on the accountant.

Lav, that sounds challenging to set up and learn the new computer system for your embroidery, but I guess it’s definitely time if yours is 20 years old. Once you learn some of it you’ll have fun with the new things you can do!

I can see where the topsoil will look more warm and natural instead of a pile of stones in your front yard, Mick.

There’s no rain here, and none in the forecast for the next 10 days, so I’m sprinkling the grass and watering the plants a lot.

Oh, it’s not all fun & games with those little grandkids. Like Mabel tries on her new underwear that came in the mail, but then has a huge poop in them that I have to clean up. And i get their kitchen table and everything wiped up and the floor swept, then Beckett dumps chocolate milk all over everything, and “saws” the styrofoam from packaging into fine snow all over everything. And then Daughter gives me her dumb usual lecture about how”mistakes happen” and it’s “all good” and “this is how it is”. -but not with me! He can also learn how to clean up his messes, I say! So blot up that milk, and get busy with this hand vac, Kid.

[Slo]

Re: 16th July

Since it’s a job with limited scope that won’t go on forever, I think you will enjoy taking on the challenge of the editing job, NS!
Did you get your haircut appointment in?

Wags, your brain had to be fried after 4 intense hours of tutoring at that high level. You just saw your dad and got him to laugh, so tomorrow should be soon enough for a visit.
NS, how annoying that your mother didn’t get a helpful surgery done because the doctor didn’t agree with her DNR status!

I will hopefully find out a little bit about how my knee is doing tomorrow, when I consult with a doctor about it. I’m getting by ok by wearing a reinforced brace on it (soft brace reinforced with diagonal straps that wrap around the knee) and using lots of pain gel.
[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], I appreciated your insights about how you see that your husband has some level of dependency with alcohol, and how you see that you want to remain free of those chains that bind!

Hi to Pie, TG, and all.

[wagmor]

Re: 16th July

Mick - the care staff at these memory homes deserve badges of honor and appreciation.

NS - sounds like the editing job is a good opportunity: small commitment, at least potentially interesting, etc -- I'd say go for it!

Lav - good luck with the new embroidery computer and software. I'd bet if you can't figure things out on your own there are probably youtube videos with how-to's or other guidance. I swear there are youtube videos for EVERYTHING!

PQ - glad you and the boss are now able to move forward without waiting for someone else's input that doesn't seem to be coming. Hope those pork chops were good!

Slo - I hope your Dr appt goes well and that you get some kind of good news on your knee. Sounds like you're coping but pain gets old and is very fatiguing/draining.


Well I did go see my dad today and it was a good visit. He didn't remember anything about our conversations or his worries from this past weekend, so I didn't bring them up. He definitely has some crossed wires, like he thinks he gave his car to his sister a few months ago (she died from Covid in early 2022), and my poor cousin's husband seems to be one of the few people my dad has very mild suspicions/paranoia about. I sure hope I never end up on that list! In a lot of ways I feel like I've already lost my dad, or at least lost the person I've known him to be for my entire life, and yet he's right there in front of me - my brain is experiencing a kind of dissonance and trying to process all of it. Good thing, again, that I don't drink! I need every single brain cell I have to manage my life and responsibilities these days.


Hellos and waves to TG, Pi, Kensho and everyone else I've missed. Hope Thursday treats everyone well!

[Mick]

Re: 16th July

mae all...how are wee doing today then? hope all is well with everyone .no rain atm ,but forecast says its on the way ..Ive got a ton of topsoil coming tomorrow ,but still got some stone to take out,but Im aching this morning ,but a good ache if that makes sense .
Right folks I got a message from Satzy in the Army thread ..apparently a lot of the folk there have gone or just jump in on an adhoc basis ..in fact the other day Satzy posted to herself .She was asking if they could join in with this thread....Now I am not precious in any way shape or form..in fact the person who has been here the longest is Lav.just looking though I have noticed the following

some folk post in more than one thread
some lurk and seldom post
some disappear for ages and then just jump in .
not everyone has the time to write reams and reams of stuff on here .

In no way am I trying to be critical...for me I find writing on here cathartic ,and I know a couple of others do.this site gave me life back ...without trying to be dramatic..and yes it was individuals who helped me ..but they wouldnt have ,had the site not been here,so the aim for me is to keep it running .I know how long it takes to post for me ,and I also know at times how other things in life take precedent,so for those that post on more than one thread ,I can see how time consuming it can be and also thinking of what to write .I also think its nice that we are a community ,so in that vein ,instead of disappearing for yonks at a time ,why not just say hi Im a bit busy atm ,but still here and sober and sane or something .Does any of that make sense? I hope so .Who is actually in charge of the site ? perhaps an input from them would be helpful?

What are your thoughts folks?

Hiya Wags ..how are you today then mate? hope all is well with you..Im glad you had a good visit with your dad...do you go through the same trepidation as us ?will it be good or not?My wife said exactly the same as you...She lost her dad 7 years ago...I dont know whether yo saw this or not ,but I wrote a poem about dementia to try and explain it ,I know some folk did..so here you are ...


Forget-me-not

My eyes can see, I am not blind,
Yet there’s no recognition in my mind
Where am I, who am I, what’s happening now,
My life goes on, but I know not how.

Mind like a bookcase with books neatly stacked
One by one they are all unpacked
Those books are my memories as they fall to the floor,
Life goes on, but I remember no more.

You look at me in this mixed up madness
But deep Inside I’m full of sadness.
It seems so hard so unfair so wrong,
Cherished times, loves and places all now gone.

The past is no longer, my now is here,
This is my day, my week month and year,
What happened and how I don’t understand,
Talk to me, sit with me and just hold my hand


Dedicated to all those carers and sufferers

does that ring with you too?hope you have a good day..have you booked that holiday yet?

hiya Slo ...how are you doing today then?hope all is good .Yes I doubt its all fun n games with the kids .best of luck with the knee today ..will you find out immediately?The big room sounds interesting with the colours ...Interesting ...grey ..you would think it wouldnt be effective as a colour but its really popular especially nowadays .you take care .

hiya ppqp...have you got a ringside seat ? ding ding ....round 1....yep ...I thought I would ask about the dog.....Ive still got a fair whack of stone to shift..so I need to balance brain and brawn....best of luck with the dog sitting .

hiya Lav ...how are you doing? has yb put the computer together yet?Id defo be no good at that...Im still working out how to play pac man!!yes I do have to rest now ...tho not through choice!!!!!!you take care today.

hiya NS ,like you Mary Poppins has many childhood memories for me .I always enjoyed it ,and again first time I saw it was a treat .What does the editing job involve? travel ? working from home?

ok big shout to everyone ,hope you have a good day ..its 5 years today since my wife gave up the booze.I definitely had nothing to do with it,or indeed any direct influence, but well done to her .

Take care all ...and have a good one

[STEADFAST]

Re: 16th July

Hello, lovely people,

Yes, I'm still here! I hope all are okay.

Sometimes if I haven't posted for a while I get overwhelmed when I actually go to post. I can't always read back as far as the last place I stopped, and unlike the Newbies Nest, this thread gets renewed every week. This means there's more threads to check back on, and I worry about who I might miss. This is not in any way a criticism of this thread, Ive always been an over-thinker and stress-head!'

Best news to tell you is I'M STILL SOBER, AND PROUD OF IT

Special shout-out to @Wags. Going through the dementia process with my parents was the worst experience of my life. It sounds like you do all the right things, Wags, but it's painful to realise that there will still be very difficult days. All I can say is, create as much connection and joy with your Dad as you can. I continue to think of you, and commend you for staying sober through these times.

I will try not to let so much time elapse between my posts. The more time that passes, the more I tie myself in knots about posting!

Take care everyone, lots of love,
Steady
:heartbeat:

[NoSugar]

Re: 16th July

Mick, I like your take on the value of this website to those of us who became sober here and why it is important to keep it going if we can. Some of my key guides at the beginning are no longer active here but I enjoy touching base with them in other ways now and then. I wish they still were here but many people have left, each for their own reasons. I stayed b/c I truly believe in the AA recommendation to 'give back'. Now that there are no newbies, it is harder to do that but I think all of us supporting one another has value. Plus, I'd really be sad not to have you all in my life.

I appreciate the lovely poem you shared.

Wags, I felt like I had been losing my mom for years, especially the last 5 or so. When she died and I didn't feel too sad about it, I was sort of horrified at myself and felt like a "bad daughter" but came to realize that I'd been grieving my loss of her all this time. I truly miss the mom I had had but am relieved that the confused, scared person who was in constant pain is now at peace.

Slo, she was able to have that big surgery but if anything had gone wrong during it, they would have done everything in their power to save her. So the DNR turned out to be a moot point but I did not like having that decision removed from the family.

I hope you like your updated computer, Lav. I still prefer some older versions of Word to later ones and am not convinced that change always is good. I did take the editing job. So far it's been kind of fun. I'm waiting to hear back from the authors before I proceed further (PQ, I was an academic editor for a research science journal for over 30 years until my position was eliminated last year). This job involves working directly with authors who will then deal with the journal.

You should be proud, Steady, as should we all! There certainly are enough messages out there that WE are the weirdos who are missing out. I disagree :smile:!

[NoSugar]

Re: 16th July

Congratulations to your wife, Mick, on getting a poison out of her life, too. Without using words, you likely had a positive influence on her.

I was never the 'leader' in the drinking with a group of my friends but I've noticed over the years that they drink less. Part of that might just be age and how our bodies metabolize alcohol less well but I think it also puts a brake on things when someone isn't participating in a behavior. It seems normal when 'everyone is doing it' but when that isn't true, questions arise...

My husband has never overeaten or overdrank in his entire adult life as far as I know but I've noticed that over time, he drinks less and less. For one thing, he stopped drinking the "healthy glass of wine" with dinner that I pushed :chargrined:. He was more of a beer drinker anyway and since I've never liked it, that wasn't an issue for me. But, when I started brewing kombucha, he drank more of that and less of beer. For the last year or so he's chosen AF beer when he occasionally has it. Given that the recent evidence indicates that there is no healthy amount of alcohol, just more or less toxic doses, I'm really glad he made that choice.

[Lavande]

Re: 16th July

Good evening friends,

We had a few thunderstorms this afternoon but not an awful lot of rain. Apparently the big rain is coming tomorrow, ho hum.
We just took a ride up to town after dinner to do walk thru Walmart (for no reason). On the way home we encountered an Amish guy having a horrendous time at a Stop sign. The horse was all over the place, I thought they were going to both flip over, geez. At least he didn’t have his family on board. So many of them get hurt & killed like that.

Mick, I was thinking about the Newbies Nest, it’s just dead. No one seems to be looking for help to quit anymore. I don’t look in the Army thread too often because I usually can’t figure out what they’re talking about, Lol. I guess at the end of the day most of us just feel better having a place to check in & the name of the thread doesn’t matter that much. Those of us on this thread have ‘known’ each other for years which makes it easier overall I think. I like that we can discuss personal issues too not exactly related to AL. I like that we are all extremely grateful to be AF.

PQ, I hope you had fabulous pork chops last night, haha!
I like that you & the boss have things under control & keeping everyone in their place

Slo, I’m with you - if the kids made a mess they got the vacuum out or got on their hands & knees to mop up messes too!!! These are important life skills they need to know. I don’t mind teaching them when they’re here
The new computer stuff is still sitting in the boxes, I guess it will get put together over the weekend, who knows? I had. To clear off my desk, apparenty the new monitor is almost twice the size of the old one, that’s will be nice.
Hope you got some decent help for your knee, you deserve a break from all the discomfort.

Wags, yes i’m aware of the youtube videos, they will be helpful I’m sure.
Glad to hear your Dad has settled down. Unfortunately these things go on cycle with folks.

Steady, we’re always glad to see you & happy you are doing well. I find it easier to sit down for a few minutes after dinner to check in here each day. Do what works for you.

NS, I don’t know about you but I find learning new new versions of computer things can be annoying. My brain is so used to the ‘old way’. Haha!! I’m sure I’ll love all the new stuff once I change my thinking a bit
Glad the editing job is working out for you, sounds interesting. I’ve noticed others in my family have changed their drinking habits too. I guess we’re all getting older & of course there’s the kids to consider. We all want to set a good example for them.

Hello to Cyn, Pie, Sam & everyone. Have a nice night all!
Lav

[treegirl]

Re: 16th July

Mae all - so good to "see" you -

Mick, I saw the pics of your kitchen after I posted (still having troubles if I stay online too long after posting - I get kicked off and it's annoying to get it all back on again - but ususally I read everything before logging on - that seems to work. But anyway, wonderful pics of your very lovely kitchen. Made me want to visit and have a cuppa! Please be careful with the stone removal, that sounds like an enormous job. And THANK YOU for the YouTube links to Roman Holiday... oh my gosh, there was my all-time favorite movie scene - when she comes out of the bathroom in his robe... wow. Such beautiful depth to that scene... I appreciate you finding it! And my goodness - 5 years for Julie! I remember when she made her quit, so I guess that we were all a "pack" way back then... feels like family...

Lav, gosh I don't envy you learning a new program for your embroidery, but after a few hours (and a few swear words), I bet you'll have the hang of it... so glad to hear there is a larger monitor, wonderful. What a scary story about the horse and buggy... I didn't realize that it happens often... I always wonder how the horses deal with being so close to automobiles... or maybe other things are scary to them... what an interesting way of life... take care - sending you good energy for the new Program!

Wags, you are so dedicated to your Dad... sorry that you have to go through this, it must be trying and exhausting. Wow, 4 hours of teaching... that alone would knock me out for the day. Good luck...

NS, thank you for bringing up the fact that AL is bad for everyone!!! Toxic and no amount is "healthy" for anyone... always a good thing to get out there... hope things are well ...

PQ - wow, that sounds like a blowout worth watching at work! Hope it all settles down. Yes, seems like you and the boss can figure most everything out... good luck with everything!

Pi - how are you - are you in this extreme heat? I hope that your vegies are still doing okay... sending good wishes -

Steady, how good to hear from you! Sending good wishes to you too - take care -

SLO - just reading about your time with the grandkids wears me out, seriously! And good for you for teaching them to clean up after themselves... perfect. Sending you good vibes for your knee pain - good luck.

Lav, your comment about writing after dinner really struck me - I guess I don't have regular meal times anymore... and I don't even have a table anymore... almost comical to think that I have become a "grazer", but at least I graze on healthy things... I think that after I prepare food for my elder (that now I am seeing 2 x a day), I have no burning desire to make a substantial meal... gosh, I remember the days when we would trade meal recipes between a few of us...

Hope I haven't missed anyone - wishing all well -
Cheers,
TG