Sunday, 24 June 2007

[thought2much]

Feeling bloated like a pig...lol :H

I just went down the beach to this cafe and pigged out after taking Kathy's advice to just chill a bit.

Had a big feed and then ate what my wife left on her plate..... I also polished off a very large Chocolate Gelato Shake. It was delish

Took a quick walk down the beach and sucked in the good sea air, and now it is back to my uni essay.....grrrr

My wife has gone out to do the groceries for us to give me some quiet so I can concentrate on my work. Hopefully I will be productive.

Today is the 14th day of my new life. The numbers are now starting to stack up nicely with 10 AF days and only 4 weak willed days. I am feeling pretty good about that. Paritcuarly so given the work trips etc I have had over the past fortnight....so many opportunities to get blotto and I didnt.

My week ahead looks fairly free of reasons to drink unless I go looking for them... This afternoon my mood feels lighter..... I will cook up a nice dinner tonight and not even complain one little bit about having to watch Grey's Anatomy.

:thanks: Thanks all

I hope you all are having a great weekend :l

[Determinator]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Stayed up til midnight and still missed first post...you Ozzie rascal Thought2much
well, can't help you with greys anatomy, but Kudos on great AF times. Back to my day 3 and feeling well about that although still shakey and wierd.
Invariably i wll go for a while AF, then start having those "maybe now I can start to MOD a little bit" feeling. so I need to hire a hitman to whack that part of my brain.. ..
Happy late night/early morning AB'ers and be well

[ScoobyDoo]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Thought... 14/10 days is bloody brilliant... Damn straight you should be proud! You and I are lucky both that we've got super supportive partners in this. I just spent the day doing an adventure race in the Royal NP with Mick (my fiance) as a mixed team. Shagged baby! Thought, good luck with your assignment and keep on adding to those sobriety days. I think it gets better, the more we have under our belt. I'm on day 21 today, so I'm only just a bit ahead of you.

Det, when you've found a good hit man, send him to my house to help me along too. Friday and Saturday nights always seem to spark those sorts of thoughts and I just need to keep rationalising and remaining consistent. Actually, I do believe that consistency in thought and action is absolutely essential in these early days. Det, do those thoughts subside with time? I find it mighty frustrating (but not nearly as frustrating as the drink-hangover-guilt-drink crazy cycle I was on) when this thought suddenly pops into brain out of nowhere.

Sunday night here... I'm not enjoying work too much at the moment as there's just too much of it and too many deadlines but I really hope you all have a fabulous week everyone!

Sober and happy (apart from the mourning thing)
Bernie

[Paddy]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

G'day you all!

Well thought2 you should change you name into shovel2much! Mamma mia! You watch that sugar intake of yours! Not good for the alcohol cravings, ey? Anyway, good on ya to follow Mamma Kath's advice on chilling out.

I'm on my second day AF! And I'm really feeling the difference. Already yesterday not going to bed drowsy was making the difference. Even though I was just moderating, the fact of going to bed 'with all my senses intact' if I am expressing myself correctly, makes a difference. And I was sleeping much tighter, too.

By the way, yesterday I finally got around watching a DVD I had lying there for a long time. Babel. Anyone ever watched that movie? Quite an emotional movie. Like four 3 different stories intertwined - all about communication, and being misunderstood. And to a certain extent can related to 'our problem of being misunderstood in the area of alcoholism/problem drinkers'. A must watch!

Padster

[thought2much]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Hey Scoobs

I was meant to go in that race in the national park today as well but I had 2 probs. My raicng partner pulled out and I didnt have a mountian bike to ride.

From your posts it sounds like it was a bit of a killer.

Maybe I will make it into a race or 2 in the summer.....

Paddy, cant say I have watched Babel. I have seen it in the video store a few times but following 3 stories all going on at the same time always seemed like something to induce a headache.

I watched Blood Diamond last night. Thought it was pretty cool and recommended viewing.

Dont bother with Flags of our Fathers unless you are looking for an excuse for an afternoon nap.

Best get back to my paper

[ScoobyDoo]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Thought, that's a funny coincidence! Tonight we've just decided to do the Off Road triathlon - Sri Chinmoy race in late October. With the weather the way it was today, I would have given anything to have swapped places with you and had a lovely Sunday sleep in instead! :H Today definitely wasn't our day but it did make me realise how much fitness I've lost over the past 18 months! lol

[bear73]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

well I drank a bottle of wine last night. my trigger - I was angry and felt left out, angry at my social life, oh.
I felt unable to be sociable without a drink with strangers.
I feel rubbish now.

I have decided though I will be af for 5-6 days a week and moderate 1-2 days a week.
bottle of wine isn't moderating, I will move to single spirits and diet coke as I can regulate that.
AF all the time seems to be too much pressure for me at the moment, and I hope that I may be able to stop smoking then too as I won't feel too deprived.
can i stay here though - i find this forum very very helpful.good sunday all, I'm too stiff from gym and hungover to run now but I may go tonight after a huge stretch!

[thought2much]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Hi Bear,

I hear you. I have locked myself in my house this weekend to keep the pressure off from drinking. I cant do that forever though.

I admire the will power of others on this site though and will draw on their strength of character and learn from them.

Next Saturday a group of friends are doing a bit of a pub crawl. I decided not to go. My wife is going without me. I cant stop her having fun just because I will make a dick of myself if I go. I have work to do anyways....

The weekend after I am going to the Live Earth Concert with a group of friends. They will be drinking for sure. That will be another big test.

My friends know I have a serious drinking problem. I think they will all be happy to hear I am finally doing something about it. I should have done something 17 years ago.

By the day of the concert I will be 4 weeks into this and hopefully ready to talk to my friends about what I am doing... I am sure they will agree it is needed.

Anyway enough about me....

You have to just keep trying if you want to change. No one said it would be easy. In fact everyone told me it would be hard..... Cant change a tigers stripes blah blah...

Stick with your plan. If you slip up occassionally it doesnt really matter, you just keep chipping away at your goal.

The pressure you are feeling comes form within. I went out the other day and counted how many people werent drinking or had only one drink.... I was suprised to see how many there were.... and I thought if I didnt have a drink every round I was the odd man out. Not so!

Chin up. Keep soldiering on. There is plenty of people supporting you :l

[Newyear]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Good Morning - from my side of the world

thought2 - just want to say hello. You are expressing so many of the things I have been through, all of us have been through. Social situations are a big eye opener - I can relate to you on finding out that others only had one or maybe two drinks. It is strange the first time you go to a typical situation where you know you would have been trying to see how many drinks you could get in - and even lying about what drink number you are on - 'yep, this is my second' - when in fact it's the 4th.
It can feel awkward at first but sometimes midway thru you start to feel pretty darn good. You realize nothing bad is going to happen. Yeah, maybe you are a little more shy, but then who cares? I have actually become outgoing while sober at a party just because I know I'm not drunk...very strange dynamic this alcohol creates!

bear- sorry you are feeling not so good today. It truly sucks to feel like that - sorry. And hope you do go on that run this evening - exercise makes you feel so much better.

scoobs - that sounds like fun....is it a bike race? How far?
paddy- good to see you and sounds like you are doing well. I'll have to check out babel.
I've had Pans Labryinth on my counter for about 2 weeks now so I should watch that and report out.
det- I actually hate greys anatomy so I can relate. They are all just so whiney and weepy and mopy all the time. I just want to shake them and tell them to grow up. Perhaps that show is not for my age bracket
I am going to church now and then I am going to go shopping for a new work suit and then I am going to the gym and then I may have to go to a movie ( eventhough I have pans here- not the same as going to a movie with that great popcorn). I think I may have to see Evan Almighty. What can I say? Cute animals get me every time.

I am still trying to start dating. I joined a different online dating thing. It is nerve wracking. Still haven't actually gone out.

Have a good everyone!
Lisa

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Hi All,

Nothing to report here, except that I'm still AF (on day 13) and I have a lot of work to do that I don't seem to be doing.

Now, thought2much, I told you to CHILL, not to PIG OUT!!:H I'm glad that you did make some time to relax though! You do have a lot on your plate though, and I admire you for taking on so much! Good luck with your essay!

Mr. D, I'm with you about the Hitman. What the hell is wrong with us that we idealize the thought of a drink and seem to forget about what it has done to us? I, too, have this little voice in my head singing the siren song of "just a couple would be so nice". I have to start listening more to the hypnotapes, which help so much to develop a more positive mindset about the good things that I am doing for myself! Anyway, I hope you start feeling less weird soon. I'm sure the librium is helping you to feel sort of weird too!

Scooby, Friday and Saturday are the hardest. Weeknights aren't so bad really. You are doing a great job setting up fun things to do for distraction, though. You deserve a pat on the back for that! I hate when work gets too crazy. Part of me wants to rebel against it. There should be time for everything in life, not just work, work, and more work! Anyway, I hope you get through everything okay.

It's good to see you, Paddy. "Moderating" is hard work, right? I'm not very good at it, myself. You sound like you have learned a lot from it, and I'm happy you are back here in Absville! I've missed you (not that I've been around a lot either, haruummph!)

bear, I will welcome you here anytime, as long as you are trying to be AF a good part of the time, which it sounds like you are. I wish you nothing but the best with your plan. Please be on guard if 1-2 days starts turning into 3-4 though. That has happened to me. If you can keep it to 1-2 days, that will be great!

Lisa, it is always good to see you. I am looking forward to getting to where you are, and being more comfortable not drinking. Dating is hard, and dating AF, yikes! I imagine, though, that we will make better decisions, ultimately, without alcohol in our systems.

span style="font-family: Georgia;">I used to love Gray's Anatomy, but I'm getting to the point where all the drama is getting to me. I just want to stick everyone of them in therapy and tell them to do a show after they've been in treatment for a few years. Then it might be watchable.

Anyway, I'm going to go try to get some work done.:fingers:

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[Breez]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Afternoon All-

t2m~glad you had a relaxing time. I cherish moments like that. Have a great dinner.

hey Scoobs~Congrats on 21-a month is just around the corner. I'm so happy for you! I remember when you stuggled with mods in the beginning & even disappeared from here for awhile but now I see such a big difference in you. You shine girl!

Hi Deter-glad you're feeling better. I hated the shakes. Hope you slept in late & got your rest. You'll be back to normal in no time. You the man!

bear-hang in there. Are you taking any supps or meds? I forget. If you're considering mods on weekends-take a peak into monthly mods or long-term mods threads-maybe they can give you pointers on how they successfully mod. on weekends & how they tweak the program to fit their lifestyles. Maybe that can help you develop a better plan & goal.

Paddy-I already told you in the other thread I missed ya'-Yeah, you're back.
Hi Young-and I'm glad you're back here too. When I first started here you were always here. Don't work too hard.

Hi Lisa-I've now started to go to church regularly too. Have started to do alot more since going AF-well not dating cause hubby wouldn't like that. Good luck with that & be careful and don't break too many hearts.

Well, survived my visit to the sister-in-law's b-day party. It was quite quiet. We had pizza and the ladies all sat in the dining room. Yup I was the only one out of 5 who had Diet Coke while they sipped some kind of alcoholic girlie fruity drink. At least they were in plastic cups & not in fancy glasses-that would have bothered me more. Weird hunh?
Well at around 8:30 she decided to do a movie thing for the kids on the big movie screen. I had planned on skipping out of there after cake & taking the kids back to our town's fireman's carnival. My daughter wanted to stay & hubby asked if I minded to stay, so we did. On our ride home hubby goes to me "I'm so happy that you were flexible & didn't mind staying longer". Ok-we all know-if I was drinking things would have been different. Kids were happy, hubby was proud and another trigger overcome.

Gotta run-lunch time. Kids started watching Ice Age the Meltdown. It looks funny.

Have a good one!

[Newyear]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Well, I have an idea of why I'm not dating much ( any). A very nice guy that I met on internet dating just called me and I got so nervous, anxious, scared...I didn;t answer the phone! Kathy...you are right it is scary trying this AF. I'm pretty sure if I'd had a couple of glasses of wine in me ( which by this time of day I would have had at least 3-4), I would have answered the phone.
Why am I so petrified of this? I let vm pick up and he left a message. A very nice message too. ARRRGH! I thought, 'well, being alone the rest of my life won't be all that bad!". Sorry....had to tell someone. I am such a scardy cat!
I will call him back...not tonight though, I will call tomorrow.
thanks....
Lisa

[Breez]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Lisa- I have this social phobia. I get so nervous in certain situations-that's why I drank, to take that edge off. I can't tell you how much I hate calling & talking to people I don't know on the phone. Now that I'm AF I'm slowly doing social situations that I normally would have done with a few drinks in me.

Make that phone call. After the first two sentences all will be fine. I guarantee after the conversation you will be like "gosh that wasn't so bad".

Good luck-sending positive vibes your way!

[ScoobyDoo]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Lisa, just remember that he is just as nervous as you. Everyone is shy... it's just that some people are better at hiding it than others.

Have fun Lisa! Single life can be so exciting!

[ScoobyDoo]

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Breez, well done on getting another trigger dealt with! I absolutely relate to the nice glass thought. I just try to think of the content of the glass as poison and tath very quickly turns me off. lol