Attention: Old Timers

[paula]

Attention: Old Timers

And the moral of the story is dont subscribe when drunk or maybe when most in need.!!

[redrobin]

Attention: Old Timers

Well said Paula!! I'm really starting to wonder why I bother after this "crap'. I've deliberately searched out the responses to this issue because I'm so damned angry . And no Flip, I don't think the reference was to the subscriber site at all. It's just one more instance of a certain level of us against them-ism that DOES exist in this place despite all the fervent protestations to the contrary!

But no, I WILL NOT allow these minor frustrations to ruin what is basically a wonderful place to come to - still. And neither should you Rachel.

[louise]

Attention: Old Timers

One difficulty I have had is that it is not always possible to tell if someone is drunk when posting. I got involved in a thread one night (which you also posted on SK) and it was only when the person later got on and apologized for being drunk and posting that I had any idea as I am still relatively new and had never seen this person's previous posts so had no reason to suspect. The funny thing is I ended up making a friend as it was a serious topic and I said something that prompted someone to pm me. So for me, the end result of this person posting drunk, which they felt terrible about, was good. This is not the only time that I have been unable to tell someone was drunk until later if I did not know them already. Rachel is honest about her state when she is posting. Rachel, I have come to care about you and worry about you. I hope the medical system will give you all the support you need to succeed. It would have been dangerous for you to go cold turkey on your own. Please keep coming here.

[Popeye]

Attention: Old Timers

This place is brilliant.
I've been here about 7 months now, and I've 'met' some wonderful people.
I was here about a month and I made a complete arse of myself.
I went to far on a 'fun' thread and was challenged about it.
I honestly never meant to offend anyone, but I did, and felt it only proper to leave.
I was very quiet for a while...embarrassed I suppose.
However, now, the person I upset is one of my strongest allies in the battle that we're all engaged in.
My point is, we all come here for help. Everyone here helps eveyone else, to a certain extent, and everyone who goes and doesn't come back is a loss to us all.
I hope you stay Rachel.

[chrysa]

Attention: Old Timers

I cannot see that SK was "judging" at all. She was making an observation from her point of view. It was not offensive. Food for thought for the community, that's all.

Perhaps it is good sometimes to listen to people who have success stories. They must know something.

[Keepon!!!!]

Attention: Old Timers

OK QUOTE: ' come on old timers lets reclaim our site'

Whats that all about then???????

Because im lost here

[Breez]

Attention: Old Timers

Sorry-but I have to agree with SK.

It has been on my mind as well. The boards HAVE taken a turn. We should be helping people not enabling them.

I remember when I first started there were times people posted drunk & were told to go to bed, tommorow is a new day, encouraged them to not pick up & post, do the program etc. Tough love with the "it's ok but you can do it again".

I used to post in every thread I could-I don't any more & have noticed alot of "old timers" doing the same. I hate giving a person advise & then have the next 3 threads after me still joking around. My advise gets lost.

I have felt very frustrated because I don't like seeing posts where people tell me they're going to drink & everyone else is just fine with it. Meanwhile I'm trying my best to stay AF & need more threads about stopping drinking or successful mods.

Sorry I am now turning into tough love. You won't solve a person's problem with enabling.

Rachel this is not geared to you-I have seen my fair share. Keep posting my dear no one judges you. I just want you to get better-I want to see a sober Rachel.

I don't see SK judging at all-she is concerned like me for people posting drunk every day when we are a site to promote getting better not enabling.


I was thrilled the other day when someone was cleaning & found a bottle & was told to throw it out by a huge amount of people & not wait. That's support. I was actually happy today where I saw Louise's post, Cashy's post, Luv's post. General used to be reaching out from our lives with questions on how to better ourselves, stories from the heart, help given & advise taken, support in our times of need. Yes there were wacky posts which take us to humour which I love but enabling I don't care for. That's not what this site is. It is a program with a forum to help with that program. That's why I joined.

There are alot of people stuggling. I hate that my advise gets swept under the rug. And it has-I've seen it.

Rachel this is no attack on you. I don't judge you in th least. I'm the last person to judge. I would have walked over my family to get to my precious bottle. I sincrely wish you luck on your appt. I want you to be well. I want you to post on your success. That's what I wish for everyone-I don't judge or enable-I try to help with my experinces. Because I have struggled for many yrs, been there done that and don't want anyone to suffer any more than I had to.

ok-bring on the attacks on me now.....

[rachel28]

Attention: Old Timers

thanks means a lot,

[chrysa]

Attention: Old Timers

Very very well said Breez. "Don't judge, Don't enable". I like that a lot.

I particularly have a heart for young people in trouble. And I am certain the last thing they need is enabling.

[lushy]

Attention: Old Timers

I can't say it any better than you Breez. I agree.

[chrysa]

Attention: Old Timers

Rachel,
Your responses show you are a very sweet person. Go and take care of yourself now and please stay in touch.
Love & Peace ~C

[irishlady]

Attention: Old Timers

Having just read that post by Breez I want to say that I support what she has said 100%.. Usually I'm not at a loss for words but Breez said it so much better than I could..

And yes, just to take Rachel as an example, I felt that some of the responses to her posts were enabling her to carry on and not try to make an effort to slowly cut down on her drinking.. Rachel, I am not having a go at you here, but it really saddens me to see someone like you caught in this trap of alcohol and drugs, I have read a lot of what you have posted and there is life, laughter, wisdom and knowledge there... I have checked out your profile and you say you used to do a lot of running once upon a time and you would also like to be a gardener, well the only thing stopping you fulfilling your dream is YOURSELF.. I sincerely hope your doctor will be able to help you today, you have also got to keep coming on here daily if you can, we are all here to help you through this, as I said earlier it is not going to be easy, I know... Also, I think the drinking and drugs are only the surface things, you will have to dig deep inside yourself to fix the real reasons for drinking, so I hope you can get some help with that..

So please, once again, this was NOT a personal attack on you, it was merely someone expressing their point of view as they saw things...


As for this forum having an elite !!!! I think what happens is the same as anywhere else. You start a new job and you don't know anyone so you don't say too much, six months down the line you are one of the gang, you have your likes and dislikes, you know the history of people and their friendships.. Well its the same on here, some members have been here since the beginning, I have been here now for nine months, sure we fool around in some posts, hurling insults at each other etc,. But we are only having some fun, when a supporting shoulder or a helping hand is needed, people are there for you..


So, could we please, as has been said, use this forum as it is meant to be used, as a place of help and support for people who are in need of it..

With love to you ALL,

Louise :h

[rachel28]

Attention: Old Timers

I D JUST LIKE TO SAY, an this will be it, an im not drunk, i dont feel attacked by any 1 , that has posted, since skendal posted, i feel that it was a personal attack, as it was posted on a thread i started, i have appologised , an mean it, every 1 has had an opinion, bar skendal, i take on board everything that is said to me, drunk or not, i feel i have come a long way, in last few weeks, may not appear so but i know i have, trouble has always been my middle name, that is something i would like 2 change to, skendal, possibly could u pm me , my gut instinct tells me this was a post directed at me, possibly being an old timer an wiser an more experienced in the world cud u lay my mind at rest as to wether im right or not, i grasiosly accept im in the wrong for my behaviour but id like to no please xx

[Popeye]

Attention: Old Timers

Thanks Breez,

[Bella]

Attention: Old Timers

I've just read all the responses to this thread, Wow...it took a long time!!! I don't think anyone should be upset by what has been said. It is important to feel we can express our thoughts. I think we are all here for the same reason. ... Alcohol-That old bugger! We are all looking for somekind of guidance perhaps? We are also all at different stages of this dreadful disease. I sincerely believe that we should all have a bit of empathy for other people here. Whenever I am confronted with a situation I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes, it really helps with understanding. We are all different but we all need to feel like we can come here and vent off. I have found this site to be nothing but fantastic. There admittedly have been times when I have felt out of the click (if u like) but support is always here when I need it. How warming and lovely is that! Anyway, I'm going to start waffling soon so i will go. Be happy everyone and everyone post. Bella xxx