Your moderation method

[wanttostop7]

Hello-I am planning on moderating-right now I have about 7-8 beers/day in the week probably twice as much on the weekend and would like to dwindle down-just wondering what method everyone else used to get to the moderation stage? thanks!

[Kimmy]

Your moderation method

My Method for Mods

Hi Wanttostop

Well what I have done is make a mental note of how much I am drinking and at that one that I can feel all I want is more I either have a cup of coffee or I leave - the leaving thing is the best thing, but if you are at home - dont Mod - dont buy - dont have any in the house only have when you go out - this makes sure you leave and this also make sure that you know you have to drive - so you cant - you cant mod at home.

I have cleaned out all the cupboards so there is nothing at home and if I go out then I will have 1 or 2 but that is my limit - you have to set limits for yourself.

Good luck - Mods is not as easy as you would think.

[nancy]

Your moderation method

I have had periods of doing well with mods and not doing well.

One thing I would advise: set clear limits and make them relatively low.

Having a vague idea of the intent to moderate and when you are going to stop does not seem to work.

[Cinders]

Your moderation method

Totally Agree

Nancy and Kimmy are right.

You must set clear goals. They may not be what others consider moderation but they must be what YOU consider moderation as well as doable.

Then set that goal and stick with it!! It is not easy, boy the brain will prick at you that "just one more" is okay.

That is where some added value of plan of attack comes in. Don't drink your whole shebang at once, add non-alcoholic in between each, etc. Plan ahead. Think. Go a couple days AF during the week.

In many ways, AF is easier, then you don't have to plan and think, you just don't drink!!

Good luck, read the book, etc and keep reading the posts.

Cindi

[Finding My Self]

Your moderation method

Hello - new bod here! Really glad about the mod page... I have done 2 months AF with the fantastic help of 'The Rooms' and the lovely people in them - I just really struggle with 'having an illness'. I had 6 months of awful life and went stupid, lost the plot and over drank. I don't want to drink at the mo but the 'a meeting every night, work with a sponsor every day, don't speak to anyone who drinks (even socially) ever again in your life is doing my nut in! It's about the only thing that's made me want to have a drink!!! (I haven't.) So, AF for now but so good to read all your brill messages - I think you're all so courageous and strong...

[LANETTE]

Your moderation method

I totally agree with not having anything in the house, if you have to make an effort to go get it you have time to think about it. I'll say, if I want a glass of wine after my bath I'll go, or let me check my email first, I just put it off a little to see if it is really what I want. I have gone before and only had 1-2 glasses and felt great, but the problem was the next day I woke up knowing I had wine in the house so I already was planning to drink that night! I am now a wasteful person, I buy a small bottle and dump it out when I'm done so the temptation is over. I figure that before I was drinking the entire bottle anyway so either way it would have been empty. Hope to cure that though cause I hate wasting! Good Luck!!

[Saint Jude]

Your moderation method

Findng F, I can relate to those meetings making ya thirsty! I used to go to those... & after sitting there and talking about it for an hour or more ...your damn right I want a drink! Also, the whole thing of obsessing over "picking - up" and counting days of sobriety... having to go back to day 1(the shame attached), if you have to start ALL OVER @ DAY 1 AGAIN...plus go back & fess up...
The whole stigma & pressure of NEVER drinking again, & expecting such stict guidlines of yourself...While all the while admitting defeat, and weakness...
Just didn't work for me.
This program IS something I CAN LIVE WITH.:H

I try and drink a glass of water in between each beer/wine I allow myself, when I do drink. Also, if I'm going out & know I'll be inbibing, I take an extra L-glut & Kudzu, before I leave the house, also keep a small bottle in my fanny pack with me.

[BeanoC]

Your moderation method

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind if I join your thread.

I am pretty new here and have been posting on the newbie board, but since my long term hope is to be able to drink moderately, I felt like this was another good place to post.

My 'normal' routine is similar to wanttostop7, although perhaps a bit heavier. I usually drink 8-10 beers each night during the week, and from Friday night to Sunday night, I'll easily kill 2 cases. Right now, I am stopping entirely just to get my head on straight. (I am a whopping 3 days AF). I would love to get to a point where I could have 2, 3 at the most on a weeknight, and maybe 5 or 6 on the weekend. Even that would be alot by many people's standards, but for me it would be a huge cutback. One I could live with. But so far, I have proven to myself time and again that I can't stop! "Just one more" turns into just 10 more everytime! Last saturday, I drank 28 beers. 28. That was the last time I drank alcohol, and now here I am.

So I hope I can continue to post here and gain some insight from you guys, or perhaps even share some of my own.

Looking forward to day 4 AF and a life of sanity ahead!!

Beano

[adagirl]

Your moderation method

I must be a weird MODer because my house is still loaded w/alcohol. But, between the Naltrexone, the supps, and the hypno, I honestly don't crave it or want it impulsively anymore. I have a few major rules I follow...

* No non-social drinking - That pretty much rules out most drinking at home because my DH almost never drinks (only at parties or if we have people over). So, I haven't emptied out our bar or wine cabinet because I will still have a drink at home if we have friends/family over, but I simply do not drink at home otherwise. The only time I broke this rule in the past two months was for my b-day. I bought a half size bottle of wine (375ml = 2 glasses) and drank it on my own.

* No drinking and driving beyond the legal limit - So, when I have social plans out, I plan ahead and make a limit for myself (based on the BAC chart - to make sure I am safely below the legal limit). I also generally stick to beer or wine now because you can't really tell how much alcohol you are getting in mixed drinks when you are out. If the bartender thinks you are cute, you might be getting a triple!

* No hangovers!!! - So, even if I'm not driving, I make sure to still make a limit for myself. Now, this one is getting tough, though, because after two months of cutting WAY BACK on my drinking, I am totally becomming a lightweight. I had a hangover last Saturday from five drinks (drank over the course of seven hours) the night before. So, I think I'm gonna have to change to just having a set limit like maybe three and never going over that.

[DaisyMarie]

Your moderation method

Hey All--

Best of luck to us all! Visiting this post once in a while is one thing that's helping me -- and I'm very new here. I did drink way too much last Thursday, but since then, I have been in moderation! I liked when I read here somewhere on this site - that someones goal was to not get drunk again. That stuck with me, and I'd like to work on that goal as well. I think talking about all this stuff really helps - and talking with people who understand helps too. I haven't read the book yet, but would like to. It sounds VERY helpful.Just having all this stuff in the back of your brain is definitly a step in the right direction. You're in a good place -- allow yourself the ups and downs, cause they're gonna happen but .... WE CAN DO IT!
Good luck to you WannaStop7! Good luck to me! Thanks for the help, everyone!

[betty boop]

Your moderation method

WOW , lots of newcomers to the mods section ... WELCOME ....

Before I start replying I must stress that I am far from perfect ...

I joined here last november after drinking heavily for years and being drunk day and night for 5 months, this time last year I started drinking as soon as I woke up and carried on all day .... Not a pretty sight .......

Since january this year I made rules that suited me, No drinking alone, not before 7pm, and never more than 1 bottle of wine ..... It has worked for me ....

I usually manage some AF days in the week but not always, but I've not been drunk this year and we are already more than half way through it so I'm OK ....

All the best to you all, BB xx

[Finding My Self]

Your moderation method

Thanks Jude for summing up my feelings for me so well! Yes, a weird feeling of secret (no I don't do those anymore - yea!!), inner impishness yesterday when I realised I couldn't go to my 'home group' lunchtime meeting (which I will always be grateful for as it was my first 'room') as I had a hair appointment! I laughed my way through my hair cut (my hairdresser, as ever, was a total hoot!) and felt really good. Other uncomfortable things happened yesterday as well but I felt ok about booze... 69 (!) now!

Just allowing the 'I could if I choose to but don't at the moment' (sacriledge in AA but that's ok coz it would be to some) has taken soooh much pressure off. I'm even feeling more confident about my daughter's wedding 1st September.

Thanks and I hope you are all having a good day and getting all the support you need from this great place... It's amazing to read replies from all over the world and know we're all helping each other! Wow! I.T. at its greatest!

Me x

[Saint Jude]

Your moderation method

Finding,
I did meet some real nice folks @ some of the meetings,.. but I meet nice folks walking on the beach, or kayaking on the river too.
I've also met some old SOB's(@ AA) that tried to 13 step me when I was @ a very vulnerable stage.. NOT COOL.
Kinda left me with a bit of mis-trust, where that's concerned...
Preaching "honesty" & having alterior motives... all the while, talking BS... don't fly too well with me.
I grew up w/that crap... I can spot it a mile away.

Sorry didn't mean to go all negative there,... just got off work & venting...

Done now. Thanks!

[Trevor]

Your moderation method

I find that it is far easier for me to mod if I have something to get up for the next day. I only tended to lose control after i lost my job (and didn't have to get up) . Twice recently I had something to get up for early and managed to half what I normally would drink the night before.

[Finding My Self]

Your moderation method

Thanks Jude!
Hope you have a good evening having been able to have a good ol' vent!
Good stuff about this topic at MWO today... really helpful; I don't feel 'guilty' (?!?!) any more about 'not commiting to AA fully'... (?!???!)
FMF