Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

[cookinghappy]

Was drinking bottle of wine a day (every evening). Sometimes it would even be bottle plus a glass or two. Decided it was too much. Thought I couldn't stop. Felt unable to even try. Stopping has been on my mind for months. Then something snapped (think it was a kind of knock-on effect after 3 weeks of phenomenal strain when my husbands' appendix burst on holiday in Turkey - a long story of stress), but anyway, back to the here and now. So last week I didn't drink from Monday to Thursday. Friday to Sunday I drank each evening (as much as usual). Then on Monday I stopped again (wasn't at all easy mentally to take the decision, but the physical side is ridiculously easy). My husband is thrilled with our booze-free early nights. He doesn't have a drink problem but enjoys the drink. We both like how we feel not drinking, and we both enjoy the weekends when we do. I know that moderation means not getting drunk. I know I have completely not grasped the concept. But in a way after a few years doing the above, I am quite pleased with what I've achieved as I feel I can live with it. I don't feel miserable and deprived (which I do when I think of months AF). Yet inside, I also feel I'm sort of failing. Can I have your thoughts please on how I should proceed? Although I'm sure I'm far from unique I also have bulemia/vomiting problems so a) I have more than one addiciton battle on my hands, and b) I don't always absorb all the wine I drink due to the vomiting. (Please don't be disgusted by my honesty.
Thank you

[betty boop]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Hi Cookinghappy .....

I like your idea, thats what I percieve as moderation, pretty much what I do most weeks. I know that others would disagree but if it works for you (and me) then its OK ......

[Preciouspinot]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Cooking Happy, That you have cut back at all is obviously a good thing. Go with that routine and then I would try and cut back a little further. Everyone has the right to define their own goals and I would not define yours for you. But, drinking a bottle a night for 3 nights a week is not healthy and your eating disorder could be compounding the problem. Sorry, I am just being honest as well.

If it takes baby steps then, it takes baby steps. Just work towards a healthier and happier you! We will be here to support you on your path.

[Blondie_grrrl]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Hey Cook! Far from being disgusted -- you should post freely about your "issues," as I think the honesty will only help you and others here. I struggled with bulimia for YEARS Ugh! what a nasty illness that is! And I suspect that many folks struggle with multiple addictions, whether it is to food, exercise, drugs, alcohol, what have you. (Lucky us, right?!) I strongly encourage you (if you haven't already) to be aggressive in seeking treatment for your eating disorder. Much like MWO's multi-faceted approach, there are many ways to get help. After years of self-abusive behavior, I feel that I am "recovered" from bulimia (at least in terms of binging/purging) but I still have to be careful not to spend too much time in the gym (just another form of it). Thanks past therapists, for all your help!! :H

Anyway, regarding your mod program, sounds like you are cutting back, which of course is good, but something is nagging you that you're not quite where you want to be, right? So perhaps your intuition is telling you all you need to know. Btw, that's just about how much I go at it -- a bottle of vino (+ a bit more for good measure) per night -- and given my very small size, it's way more than I should be drinking.

Good luck to you!

[Accountable for Me]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

All I have to offer you is the advice of taking baby steps. With each AF day you do make it only benefits you!

I suffered for years from Bulimia as well. I went from Bulimia to alcoholism. I understand completely where you are coming from.

[slightlysuze]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Well, cutting down is always a good idea.....so :goodjob: for that. But you posted about feeling uneasy about the amount you drink on mods day.....one thought that came to me is that you could redefine the weekend as only Friday/Saturday. If you stay AF on Sunday night you'll start the week much better!

Keep coming here and reading/posting/sharing.....you might find you could join in on a slightly longer stint of AF? Maybe even start a 10 day thread yourself?

Suze

[KateH1]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Hi Cookinghappy,

Welcome! This site is a powerful play of support and information. If you read the phylosophy of MWO you will find the the ability to "Mod" comes from an actual switch in physical chemistry as well as a change in the way we view drinking. whether or not we are able to "know for certain" that we have an "Off Switch".

I encourage you to read "The Book". It will give you all the information that you need to be successful with becoming either AF or a successful Mod.

Best of Luck!

[Angie22]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

cookinghappy-

I can relate, as my drink of choice was also wine. I agree, the fact that you have cut down at all is a good thing. When I was drinking heavily, in my mind, one bottle wasn't tooo bad, as long as I didn't open another

What about drinking half a bottle? Still alot, but a good deal less than the whole thing. Also- what about making wine spritzers? Fill a glass with half wine, half tonic/seltzer/sprite?

[Beaches]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Cookinghappy,
We don't offend easy around here I think you've come a long way. You are also conscious that you aren't comfortable with the amount you are still drinking. I like the ideas people have given above about the spritzers or making the weekend just Fri and Sat and just taking it slow but all the time moving forward. Your body will appreciate it too! Good luck and I look forward to hearing from you again.

[paula]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Hi Cookinghappy,
you are not unique, lots of us suffer multi addictions. You must do it your way,
and if it works good.Like Suze says keep coming back, etc.
Best wishes Paula.

[cookinghappy]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

Thank you all for all your non-judgemental support, thoughts and ideas. I have already decided that I won't drink on Sunday, so that'll be another reduction. I am also going to see my GP who specialises in nutrition to talk about trying to get my eating/weight sorted out. I know I mustn't do anything too radical; experience tells me I'll crack and binge drink/eat if I do. But I feel - with all your support - more optimistic that I'm moving in the right direction. After all, I'm only on week 2 of taking responsibility for myself. I've been over-drinking for A LOT longer than that. The important thing is to keep moving forward at a gentle but realistic pace and not revert ever to my previous behaviour.

[lucky 2.0]

Advice on my VERY odd sort of moderation please

cookinghappy,

sounds like your head is in the right place for success. i personally do not take the topamax but it does help not only with the alcohol issue but also with bulimia. after you research it a bit, you may decide you want to try it, or not- just wanted to present it as an option to carefully consider.

many of us can relate to your story so do not feel alone.

as you say, just keep moving forward.

be well. live strong.