I am new and little nervous...

[Berkeley girl]

Hi. I drink 3 drinks a day on most days and sometimes 4 per day on the weekend. I am a high-achiever but have been depressed and not as high achieving for about a year. I am still considered quite successful in my field. I have a VERY bad boss (mean, unfair, not-so-sharp, controlling) and have been drinking to avoid thinking about it - leaving my job is not an option. Both my biological father and mother are alcoholics, although they did not drink while I was growing up. We come from a family of 7 children, one brother died of alcoholism at 36 and my sister will too (in her 50s). I am 50.
I do not really want to stop drinking but I do want to cut down to just 2 drinks per day to relax on the weekend. I am having a hard time reaching this goal.
I also smoke mj daily.
Can I realistically reach my goal or do I need to stop drinking completely?

[betty boop]

I am new and little nervous...

Hi & :welcome: to MWO,

The advice given here is to do 30 days af before moderating, so that your system is free of alcohol. However I only managed 17 days and then went mods and have been doing OK....

Sorry but i'm in another country, Is MJ marijuana?? If so, then that probably something that you need to cut out too .....

Keep us informed, BB xx

[Cinders]

I am new and little nervous...

Berkley Girl,

:welcome:

I agree with Betty that you should download the book first and read it. You are definitely not a late stage alcoholic at 3 drinks a day and perhaps moderation is within your grasp. Only you will know if you try it and it works, great, if not, then abstinence would be your next choice. Your family genes definitely run towards alcoholism.

For many of us, it is simply not an option.

I also agree that smoking pot daily is probably not a good idea, either, but can't really speak to it.

Anyway, welcome here and I hope you find and get what you need. We are here 24/7 to help whenever you need it.

Cindi

[Beaches]

I am new and little nervous...

Welcome Berkley Girl,
It's never to late to change your ways with drinking. Just coming here and posting is a great first step. The book is an incredible tool to help you and like Betty and Cindi said it's recommended to first try for 30 days alcohol free. To be honest I never did the 30 days when I first started however have significantly decreased my volume and have found a great support system.
I am trying for my first 30 days now.

Good luck to you!

[vino_grrl]

I am new and little nervous...

hi berkeley girl ... i presume you actually ARE in berkeley? ;-) (i'm in SF) i'm about the same as you. 3 drinks a night. sometimes the whole bottle of wine. not good but not as bad as some ... still, though, enough to do real damage to your liver and quality of life.

i'd recommend a minimum of two weeks alcohol free + w/a low carb diet (something like south beach) + supplements in MWO, then try moderation from there. i've got my fingers crossed that the kudzu is going to help w/those overwhelming cravings but mine hasn't arrived yet. congratulations on finding this site. buy the book & plan out a course of action. everyone here will support.

[Berkeley girl]

I am new and little nervous...

thanks already

okay, I already feel a little better. I ordered the book, the supplements, and called my doctor for a Topomax scrip. Vino girl, looks like you and I have a lot in common! Actually I am not in Berkeley, but home is where the heart is - I grew up there. Thank you for your support.

[mimi]

I am new and little nervous...

Hello Berkeley girl and Vino girl, and everyone else,

just want to chime in, not because I have any answers particularly but because i'm in the neighborhood (east bay), and because it sounds like my pattern is pretty similar -- daily wine, up to the whole bottle. I have done up to two weeks AF a couple of times this year, most recently in August on a wilderness vacation. What's great about it is how immediately better i feel. I still have to get the knack of how to build moderation in, after the AF program. I have found thattransition really tricky.

So here I am starting at Day one again. I'm thinking that probably 30 days is a better goal for me. A comment i read here once from someone who was a successful moderator went something like: i pretend that I'm an abstainer, and then every once in a while I have a drink.

good luck!

mimi

[vino_grrl]

I am new and little nervous...

Hi Mimi (& Berkeley Girl) ... I like the idea of being an abstainer who has a drink now and again. My problem is I LIKE it too much to abstain. ;-))) It's funny ... I have this same problem not just with alcohol, but also with Sour Cream & Onion Pringles (this from an otherwise super healthy eating no-processed food gal) But those I think are disgusting and I'd never let them in my house (that said ... if they were in a hotel minibar when i used to travel overseas from work, i'd see the glint of the green can ... go over and, whether hungry or not, have to eat til they were gone .... go figure!) I wish there was a wine that TASTED like real wine but had no alcohol in it. Sort of like decaf coffee.

But the problem is I seem to swing between extremes if I don't stay super vigilant. Hoping HOPING that taking Kudzu will help me not want more than the one (or occasional two).

Berkeley ... let us know what your Dr. says about Topa. Mine was super reluctant to start there.

[corky]

I am new and little nervous...

Hi Berkeley Girl,
3 drinks a day doesn't seem like much to me. I'm the who bottle and then some. I too am waiting for my kadzu with hi hopes. Good luck to you.
I like what Mimi said. Hope I can do the same in the next couple of months.
Vino girl - why was you doc so reluctant. I ordered it at river pharmacy and expect to start using the mwo guide.

[MKR]

I am new and little nervous...

Hi BG, Corky VG, Mimi and all you new moderators . .. WELCOME!!

I have been on the site and moderating since March 06. I do believe that the 30 days really helps you wrap your head around the thought of alcohol does not have to really play as large a roll in your life as it has in the past. At least it did for me.

I feel I have successfully moderated. (I have gone from 3-4 mixed drinks each double shots a night to an occasional drink during the month.) I was the one who said, I look at mods like abstaining with an occasional drink thrown in there. I do not put myself in situation where there is no controlling myself. Mostly I drank at home anyway so I just don't buy it too much anymore. I actually have it in the house now, though I didn't the first year or so. I LOVE how I feel AF so it is not the issue it once was. The bottles do not call me the way they did for the first few months.

Not to say there are not triggers along the way, they do crop up. We have the tools here to handle them.

Exercise, the hypno CDs and supps are all super places to start. Just rethink where you want to be. With a family history like that it may be that the supps are a super big help. They are not magic pills, you still have to want to curb your drinking habits.

hugs and lots of wishes for great success . . . all of you!

[vino_grrl]

I am new and little nervous...

hi corky ... my doctor was reluctant to try something with such strong side effects when other more natural/less side-effect prone solutions might work just as well (supps/kudzu, exercise, acupuncture, restricting dietary carbs). so i'm not going the topa route yet. and it might be a bit extreme for berkeley girl, who's only having 3 drinks a night (not good ... but probably not enough to justify radical medical intervention either ...) also, i'm reluctant to do topa myself, as a single mom responsible for a 2.5 yr old. the memory loss/groping for words could put the two of us in a bad spot. RJ's description of driving by her house because she didn't recognize it was what ultimately scared me off. if i can't get it under control in other ways, i'll definitely try topa .. but i'll move in with a friend for the 3 mos i'd be on it so someone is at least looking out for me.

[Beaches]

I am new and little nervous...

Good morning all. I have to chime in about the Topa for a minute. I have been on Topa and think that everyone responds differently. I have actually been on it three different times of the course of the year I have been here. First time I went off because I got cocky and thought all was going well and I had moderating under control, second time I went off because I titrated up too fast to 225 mg and had some ill side effects and now I am at 100 mg. I have never had the Topa Dopa or the memory loss. The only side effects I had which were when I first started it then again when I got too high for my body where the tingling effects.
I can share a little with you what Topa has done for me. It's during that witching hour when I am usually reaching for a drink then I look at the clock and realize the time has passed and I didn't even realize it. The first time that happened I was floored. I am not constantly thinking about having a drink. It just takes the edge off nicely. Now on the other hand I did not go to my doctor and went through an online pharmacy.
I never did the 30 days when I first began here even though it was recommended by RJ, I could never get past the 3rd day. Today I am happy to report that I am on day 4. I take each day as it comes and see where it will lead, that's all we can do.
Have a great day.

[Blondie_grrrl]

I am new and little nervous...

Hi Berk and welcome! I am new too -- and kinda meandering around the MWO program...I did start Topa, last week, hope to get up to .75 tomorrow. On occasion I feel a "buzzy" head, but it's hard to say if that's due to the Topa, because I am also taking armloads of supplements (I know the book describes them as a moderate amount, but wow, I feel like I am constantly swallowing pills!), who knows what is causing what. I was good at listening to the hypno cd's for about 4 days but it seems so hard to make a commitment to do them -- that is what this site is so helpful for -- getting you back on track! I have not done 30 days AF. I did have ONE day AF last week (please, hold the applause)...I think I am not quite ready...yet. For those of you who successfully went AF 30 days (and I applaud you!), I assume the 6-week supplement phase is supposed to coincide with that? Am I wasting my energy doing all the supps, Topa, etc but not yet going AF? Hope this Q makes sense. Good luck Berkeley with your efforts!

[vino_grrl]

I am new and little nervous...

hi beaches ... that's good to hear that you didn't have those problems. i presume, though, that you've got someone else living in your house with you (another grownup, etc). my fear is that -- right now -- it's just me and a toddler. if i started getting loopy, there's no one else to notice/help me out (of course, it's the 'alone' time after she's in bed that the high risk drink time). i am, though, going to try sans topa ... wish my package would show up! have been exercising seriously 5 days a week (never in my life would have thought I could do THAT. dragging myself to the gym once or twice a month was about the most i ever managed. now, three days of spinning class; two days of pilates ... it's helping a lot) i think to myself on drink 2 ... 'ok, self ... you know you have to get up to go to that class and you'll feel like crap if you keep going, instead of feel good'. having that obligation everyday ... treating it like a job i can't miss is helping. that said, not helping enough to get me AF altogether. i still crave drinks 3 and 4. i just know that, given circumstances that easily can occur, i'll fall back into old habits. hoping kudzu can help w/the craving &, also, protecting me in situations where i tend to overindulge.

but topa's definitely an option if this doesn't work. and i probably won't get it through my doctor either if river pharmacy seems reliable. why have THAT on my insurance record. yikes!

[Beaches]

I am new and little nervous...

Hey guys!
Blonde I definately think it's still worth taking the supplements even if you aren't AF yet. You can work your way in that direction by cutting down. I had to laugh at your comment about holding the applause! I have felt that way a million times but one day is better than no days, right? RIGHT!

Vino that's awesome you are exercising so much, something I need to get in a better habit of doing myself. Oh yes I have a houseful. 3 children 5 and under, a husband and mother. I could send some of them over to you I did the Topa online to keep it off the insurance record as well.

Take care