This Time of Year

[trixietrack]

This is the time of year when I start to worry about the coming holidays, the cold months and the things that are not perfect, begin to really cause me stress.
This is the time of year when I start drinking heavily to chill myself out. I tend to neglect my home and health and it seems that no one is really truly there for me.

This year I want it to be different but I am starting to feel a little anxious. I drank a lot on Tuesday night and since I haven't been that drunk in a while. the hangover was painful and I looked awful. last night I went out with an old friend and drank again. I wasn't wasted, but I was still drunk. Don't like the feeling of being hungover 2 days in a row.

Why was it so easy to keep myself from over drinking during the spring and summer months and now that it's getting colder and darker I have very strong triggers.

has anyone at mods experienced this?
do season's affect your drinking or non drinking patterns?:h

[wonderworld]

This Time of Year

trixie -
I have the same "syndrome" and it happens every year. I get a general feeling of anxiety and dread. I lose the lightheartedness of Spring and summer and feel like I just downshift and kind of shut down. And I eat more "comfort foods" too which doesn't help the situation. There is a very distinct change in my baseline mood. Some people get a clinical diagnosis of "Seasonal Affective Disorder" and take antidepressant meds for it or try natural remedies. I haven't made the investment, but I have a friend who uses a lightbox-type gizmo that you're supposed to sit in front of for a half hour a couple times a day (it doesn't give you a sun tan - just something about "full spectrum" light or something). Some also try the natural remedies like St. John's wort and stuff.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that LOTS of people get it in varying degrees - and I think mostly women. I'm feeling it alot this week myself. You're not crazy. And alcohol's a depressant and so, as usual, doesn't help, as much as we wish it would.

I'm sure you'll hear from others!

Beth

[trixietrack]

This Time of Year

guess I have a lot to learn in the coming months. glad I have my friends at MWO
there is always an answer, there is always support.

[Accountable for Me]

This Time of Year

trixie, you are not alone in this one. Although I have a good amount of time under my belt being AF, I am still very scared of this time of year. The socializing, stress, and everything that comes with this season is overwhelming to say the least.

Last night my husband who has been sober for only a few weeks, was flipping through a flyer that was advertising Wine Making. He said we should make a batch of wine. :huh: Does he NOT know that we are committed to AF all the way, no if's, and's, or but's about it? I could see all H*ll breaking loose on his face when I confronted him on the thought.

I asked on another thread about Campral. I want to check into it for him, but if he isn't whole heartedly committed to be AF (and he should.... his health and big binging problems on both parts here) then there is nothing I can do. Ever since he mentioned it, I can't get the thought out of my head -- meaning me. I had a wicked craving the other night and shook it off, but now I am craving again! 10 months into this puppy and I find the Beast knocking on my door in a 'subtle' way. I am going to check into Campral for me, I have decided.

I hate the saying "Tis' the season to get pissed" I grew up with this and practiced this. This is going to be a tough one for sure. But I am preparing, and hopefully will ride this through.

Sorry you had overindulged the last couple of nights. I wish we could remember what it felt like to feel like complete crap the day after so we would never go that far or drink again.

I wish I could help you with the moderation part of it. Have you thought about medication? I know you are very holistic and healthy in every sense of the word but maybe just to get you through this crazy time of year?

[trixietrack]

This Time of Year

Hi accountable.
I am going to give myself till the end of the week. If I am not able to control myself I will AF if that doesn't work, then I have to take the next step.
This is the first year where I am not letting myself spend late fall and winter drunk because I can't deal.

[Accountable for Me]

This Time of Year

Touche! This is my first (not being pregnant) as well in many years. Do what you need to do. You won't be alone.

[trixietrack]

This Time of Year

thanks afm we'll make it through

[Saint Jude]

This Time of Year

I have a tuff time with letting go of summer also. I still have my kayak loaded up in the back of my truck... hoping to get in a few more days of paddling before winter Really hits... But it's looking more bleak every day.
Our home weather station says sunshine.. but every time I turn around, there's another downpour, or thunder!

Feels like we skipped Fall, and jumped straight into winter.

I just love running around in barely anything... and jumping on the river, being tan & in great shape!
Then all of a sudden... it's winter. I feel white, fat, & lazy! Amazing it's like an overnight transformation. I have quite a bit of exercise equipment I use, but it's not the same as getting out in the sun & being among the "wild things"...

Holidays seem to be triggers for me as well. Although last year I think went better than before. Maybe things are improving with that...

Trixie, Hope ya feel better. Do you take L-Glut? I really think that helps. Think I'll go take some more right now, (since it's my day off & easy for me to "nurse" myself too much if I'm not careful)

[Finding My Self]

This Time of Year

Me too! Only for me it has to do with my 'trigger' of fear of illness.... 'tis the 'sick-bug-season and that is why I drank...phobic about it... I mean no-one likes it but I go to jelly if one's about and used to (repeat! used to!) drink loads of port and brandy to kill it, settle the tum, relax me fast.... hmmm. It might be an old remedy for just that, but me? I overdosed somewhat in the end!!

I don't actually fancy any booze - even my forays into half a lager have left me feeling a bit ugh so.... (I feel really lucky there!) but when I hear, "I expect it's just a bug.." watch me go!!! (Just a bug?!?!?!?! Can't it be something uncatchable instead....?!?! (food poisoning or something serious...?!) Does that really make peopel feel better?!?!

Anyways, sorry, see how I go!!! So, the winter with everyone inside and the heating on and smelly, hot, stuffy shops and schools......oooh er! Hate it. That's why I like the summer. More room for me to get away from 'those' bugs!

So, I don't know how I'll be without my crutch for the first time - just a warning I may be ske-daddling all over the boards soon! I hope not but I'll be wary!

I think light boxes are a good idea - I wish I had a conservatory/sun room; I'd absolutely live in it in the winter! I crave (good crave I reckon!) light!!!!

Hang in there, Trixie... get a hold for tomorrow. Just that (or tonight if the time zone means that?) and go from there. Can we have a Winter Bods Club or something?!? Find anything and everything we can that we enjoy about winter.... I do like fairy lights!! And this year I will be able to sing Christmas choral music in the cathedral again for the first time in 10 years - YIP-PEE!! (If I'm not ill?!?! See what I'm like?!?)

Anyone else have something that they do like?

Love to all
FMF xx

[trixietrack]

This Time of Year

st jude I think I'll start with more L-glut see how that goes. I have that tropical blood that is used to not having seasonal changes, all the years that I have been in north America I still can't break this feeling this time of year.
November is my worse month for some reason. I become really morbid. I just want to experience this winter sober so I can see if it's seasonal depression. FMF maybe we should go somewhere nice and warm.

[Accountable for Me]

This Time of Year

FMF - have you considered purchasing an air purifier? Works well for this time of year. Lysol (a disinfectant) to spray everything with, and carry with you one of those small bottle's of hand anti-bacterial/disinfectant when going in public. The door knobs and public washrooms are gross and carry tons of bugs. I do this because I am a germa-phobe too. I never was ill with some sort of bug when drinking. Now I am arming up with other stuff.

[Finding My Self]

This Time of Year

Thaks AFM! Yes, I 'do' the anti-b hand-wash! But actually I try really hard to 'be real' about the fact that, in reality, there is no rhyme or reason we 'catch' things....the last 'bug' came out of the blue anyways and I lived and I just have to hang on to that! It's why I had soooh many years therapy; I used to pray someone would bring a pill out to stop anyone ever throwing up again! (Duh! We'd die then; it saves lives...poisons and all that!) But for years now I've worked to just have illness be one of those things...part of being alive...not controlling my every move and thought....(hmmm, sound familiar?!?!) So, tempted as I was to let it disrupt my life totally - yes, once I kept the kids off school cos 'it' was about!!!! - I'm damned if it's going to 'beat' me!!! Daft - coz colds etc don't get to me - although I'd rather not taunt one if I've got a singing concert coming up! "Sometimes you will, mostly you wont" is my (tentative!) mantra now!

I'm sorry you suffer (and it IS suffer!) from germophobia too! Hell. Will be thinknig of you this winter!

Love FMF xx

[Finding My Self]

This Time of Year

Just seen your little one's feeling poorly AFM. I hope on the mend soon....but I soooh recognised the emotion behind, "Oh, tis the season of germ infestations" !!!!! Poor you! Come on though! If we can kick Al we can kick The Germophile too!!! In fact, if we kill The G then Al will stay bu**ered off more safely...what do you reckon?

So, just a PS with an extra hug from me.

Trixie - sorry, me'n AFM having a bit of a chat on your thread! Back to you! Hope you're OK.

Love FMF xx

[Waves 2]

This Time of Year

Does anyone know if the light boxes really make a difference to your mood???

Got a leaflet yesterday advertising them . It's possible to trial them too. Just wondering...

On the other hand we could all move to Australia. It's spring there! ; )

[Finding My Self]

This Time of Year

Waves - as far as I can tell they're great if you're stuck in one place allday (office desk?) and have it beside you.... I'm on the move all day, in and out, so need something portable (like the sun!!!). I think you have to sit at one for a minimum of 2 hours a day....?

(Dog, it's exhausting isn't it?!? We seem to have to WORK at everything - relaxing, eating, excercise, relationships, doing our teeth (all that flossing and fiddling), sleeping and now even just getting daylight!!! GRRRRR!)

Good luck! Let us know how it goes - great you can trial one.
FMF xx