Breakup

[trixietrack]

Breakup

yeah beaches monkey off my back. Now I can stand straight.

[Saint Jude]

Breakup

Trixie,
I hope you stay strong & keep your chin up. Know in your heart you deserve so many wonderful blessings!:h

I was with a man years ago...(seems like a lifetime...thank God!), But it was SO HARD to break away from him.
He was such a manipulator & power player. A real pro.
He was extremely good looking, & physically beautiful.. I have no idea why he was so insecure & mistrusting.... but he was.

After about 3 yrs with him, I had barely any self esteem at all. He was constantly telling me how beautiful other women were, or how awesome of skiiers,climbers,etc, they were.
I was always feeling old & fat & incompetent... even though, I was winning telemark races, & rock climbing, kayaking white water.. no matter what .. it was never enough...

He just knew my buttons, & would push the most vulnerable of them, whenever possible. Just downright mean.
It amazes me how long I tried to win his approval.

Getting away from him was such freeing experience. It was almost like I lost myself for a while ... while I was with him.
I think that's one of the closest experiences I've had with full on evil, on this planet.

Funny ...hadn't even thought of him in years... & today of days .. this just kinda rolled right out.... HMMM

[trixietrack]

Breakup

I have been AF 4 days.
I am planning on staying devil juice free for a while, I need this to keep myself focused and strong. I don't want to have a relapse with the ex. after changing the keys and all. He is still trying to get back with me but as long as I'm not drunk I am able to be firm by not answering phones and e-mails.
staying AF till he gets it the point that it is over.

[trixietrack]

Breakup

"He was such a manipulator & power player. A real pro.
He was extremely good looking, & physically beautiful.. I have no idea why he was so insecure & mistrusting.... but he was."

mmm sounds very familiar st jude

[trixietrack]

Breakup

feeling really great today. no news from the ex so I guess he understands that it's no more.
I expected him to come around and make me miserable.
I have managed to stay sober throughout the weekend.
this is what I need to do now to keep myself together and strong.
I feel really great ,woke up in a good mood (unheard of for me).
I think like RJ says this is a good way to clear yourself and to sort things out and figure out if I want to stay AF or if i plan on moderating, right now, I am feeling peaceful.
now I know what you AFers are talking about

[Saint Jude]

Breakup

Glad to hear you're feeling good Trixie!
A good time for regrowth...:h I hope you're finding some nice ways to enjoy your new freedom! Ever read any Janet Evanovich? The Stephanie Plum novels? They're hilarious! Romantic, sexy, sassy, suspense... quik witted...everything a girl needs... well almost.

[trixietrack]

Breakup

Saint Jude;220096 wrote: Glad to hear you're feeling good Trixie!
A good time for regrowth...:h I hope you're finding some nice ways to enjoy your new freedom! Ever read any Janet Evanovich? The Stephanie Plum novels? They're hilarious! Romantic, sexy, sassy, suspense... quik witted...everything a girl needs... well almost.

I have not read Janet Evanovich, but will look it up now that I have all this energy and time.
I am keeping myself busy with my art and work. the wine bottles are still corked up and I haven;t rally craved alcohol. day 3 was bad but it faded. who knows how long I'll keep this going.

Trix:h

[hippie37]

Breakup

Hey Trix just cottoned on to this thread today and you sound like you are in good spirits and feeling positive. As you know I've just been the one to end My 5 year relationship with my partner for what would be considered to others selfish reasons but for ME and my sobriety was the only option. As well as learning to cope with being this new sober person I'm also adapting as well to living on my own which I haven't done for nearly 12 years. Takes some getting used to I can tell you but it is time I need alone to nurture my own needs for a change without worrying about how that effects every other so and so relying on me. I'll be a much better person for doing this and I know when I'm ready to move on I will but at my pace. It gets a bit 'frustrating' at times but I won't go into that now.!!!lol

So glad your being positive about it all anyway trix!

Love and Happiness to you
Hippie
xx

[trixietrack]

Breakup

thanks hippie I have been having ups and downs but that was expected.
just hope I don't get desperate and do something stupid.
laying off the booze is a great help for sure.

Trix