Tuesday, November 13th

[MKR]

The thing that most forget while dreamily looking off into the horizon for the ship of their dreams, is that such ships never sail in, but are actually built beneath their very feet.

Ohh-wee-ohh,
The Universe
_______________________

Morning all,

I did forget a few people here yesterday, sorry about that!

Welcome, Mr. Boop!

Ducky are there any beans left over? Can I come over too? They sound excellent and like having a pot of soup on the stove, that smell all day is so homey and pleasant.

I didn't change my basic business, I still do commercial artwork. I just don't see smaller clients on their own now, I go through PR firms. That had me working yesterday from 6:30 AM and even back working after a board meeting last night at 8:30 before I got dinner. The one PR firm is really needing to see the boundaries, I set. (Don't ask for my cell number, if I had given it to you, it would mean I DON'T want you to contact me when I am not in my office answering the phone.) Does anyone else have a problem with trying to disconnect with the outside world and they feel your time is their time? Had breakfast meeting with a different firm on Saturday morning and started thinking last night, maybe I just want to retire, no more hoops to jump through and the hours I would like to work. . . sigh . . .

Hope you are all doing very well today.

xo, Mary

[Sante]

Tuesday, November 13th

Mary,

I wouldn't say retirement is necessarily a solution. I "retired" about four weeks ago and am having a terrible time adjusting. The drinking isn't helping, either.

I've been in and out of these boards in the past, and am hoping I can make better progress if I am more diligent in coming here. I'm only doing moderation, because I've failed miserably at attempting to be AF. Today I'm hoping the resolve I feel now will stay with me all day long. Sadly, fatigue and loneliness have a way of creeping up on me and the alcohol seems like such a good friend. I always seem to cave in after trying unsuccessfully to hold it at bay.

I guess the one good thing about being on your own, workwise, is that you can set boundaries, to a degree. I have a couple of friends who left the corporate world and went out on their own. They admit they have their ups and downs, but basically they are happier. I guess nothing is perfect and the grass always seem greener on the other side.

Sante

[ducky]

Tuesday, November 13th

Good morning Mary and Sante,

Mary, come on over. There are plenty of beans left! I actually packaged most of them and into the freezer they went. I always double recipes and then freeze for meals when I can't/don't want to cook.

Re the boundary issue. It is tough but you have to be the one to enforce it I think. My dh works at home and when he stops for the night, unless he is expecting a REALLY important call, he leaves his work phone in the office (detached). He brings his cell in the house but doesn't answer unless it is critical. If he didn't do this he would be working till 10 or 11 every night because he has clients/reps all over the country. Don't feel guilty for having a life. I am sure you get right back to people and don't leave them hanging.

Sante, sorry you are feeling a bit down. I hope that coming here will help your mood. Drink does seem like our friend sometimes, but it really is not.

I was AF last night and hoping for one more later this week. And trying to keep my mods MOD. The struggle never ends I fear but it is worthwhile.

Off to pilates.

Hi to all.

[ducky]

Tuesday, November 13th

Oh and Sante, I read your post on the other thread. The AF thing is very hard, even one day at a time for me. Last night I really wanted a cocktail or wine but dh suggested we skip it because he was working late. I had to focus on keeping myself very busy (cooking, cleaning, dog walking) till it was time for dinner. Once we ate the big urge has passed. Please don't think everyone has found an easy way to not drink. There are lots of us like you who are white knuckling it through the witching hour. Perhaps you can find some things to keep busy with or get on chat?

Hang in there.

[sammys]

Tuesday, November 13th

Its kind of complicated to follow regular business hours with anything anymore, I usually do not answer my phone past 9 pm at all, but last nite my cell kept ringing and I got to the third call and it was one of my employees who had set off our alarm at work and the sheriffs were on the way. When you have your own gig going it seems to just blend together work and home.


Oh and ducky you are so right with the preoccupation with drinking at times it just seems to be in our heads and will not leave UGH!!!!

Sammys

[Ripple]

Tuesday, November 13th

OMG, I am a retired business owner too. I was asked to step down due to a younger woman I hired. About 10:00 I would drag my tired ass to the office assuming all was fine, only to discover my husband didn't want me there because the "other" woman complained I insulted her? TUT>>>TUT, I never had a problem with any of my employees...NEVER. Low and behold I stopped drinking and now I want answers. :upset:

Sober Again Today!
Luv..:h
Rip.

[Lorelei]

Tuesday, November 13th

Morning All,

I totally understand not being able to maintain "normal" business hours. I definately try to when I can but sometimes I end up taking work home to meet deadlines. This is one of my busiest times of the year so I'm doing it more often.

I had a slip last Thursday and drank too much but was able to moderate on Friday. Since then I have been AF and have no plans on having anything for some time. These past few days have been a struggle as I have spent time with Jeff both last night and on Friday. Friday was a group setting but last night was just the two of us.

Most of the day yesterday and so far today I have been obsessively thinking about the relationship and assigning blame here and there. This sort of behavior is totally at odds with what I have been learning in therapy and is proving to be difficult to stop. I have been able to quiet some of the thoughts but not all since I got in to the office. There will definately be some theraputic reading at home tonight and I'm really looking forward to therapy tomorrow. I know I am generating my own anxiety but dammit I really am having a hard time stopping. I just want to scream and cry and kick my feet!

-lorelei

[Prest4time]

Tuesday, November 13th

Morning everyone!

I'm so grateful my internet is working today -- I'm still in the Bahamas, but most times I try to log on it is a futile effort! We are having a wonderful time, but I am struggling every single day because there is alcohol EVERYWHERE here. I am drinking, but trying to keep it moderate and of course having my husband with me all the time keeps me in check for the "most" part. I am normally a wine drinker, and for whatever reason, wine is hard to come by here. But liquor stores are on every corner and its dirt cheap. So I bought a big bottle of Absolute Vodka for 10 dollars, and wound up dumping it down the sink the next day because I overdid the very first night with it in the room. So then last night because I had "nothing" in the room and my mind is going down the "I'm on vacation, so I get to drink" road, I wound up humiliating myself by asking my husband if we could break into the "mini bar" in the fridge. He let me of course, so I had one little bottle of Chardonnay which equated to about one-and-a-half glasses of wine. I felt proud and guilty all at the same time...dumping out cheap vodka only to pay seven dollars for a stupid little bottle of Chardonnay. Anyway, I feel great this morning and this is our last full day here, so we are heading for the straw market and doing some shopping for the kids!

Looking forward (I think) to getting back into my school routine and get a little discipline back!

Hope everyone has a great day!

[Preciouspinot]

Tuesday, November 13th

I am nowhere close to retirement but, I definately feel the strain of juggling work and home. My kids schools require a lot of my time. At one school we are required to do 20 service hours a year not including all the regular activities and teacher conferences. Then, there is always at least 2 hours of "homework time" when I get home from work. It is hard to find the time to grocery shop let alone cook something.

[cowgal]

Tuesday, November 13th

me neither

Not EVEN close to retirement, and now w/ the cost of the divorce looming($200 for the consultation!!!) I will be working til I am 90.................I am actually (or have)thought about staying w/ him due to the money and insecurities.............I have done that enough and it keeps getting worse and worse every time, what am I going to wait til he kills me or hurts the kids badly?? Am I STUPID!?!? No money is worth the freedom I will have and the peace I may find!

Thanks for letting me vent (self talk is always helpful!)

Thanks all for your input yesterday, today I am just trying to pick myself up, AIMING for AF, I need to do this for me and my kids or I may lose them, even though he drinks WAAAYYY worse than me, and the drugs, well that is a whole other ball game

I am glad to see everyone has a gameplan for today, sorry I am in a bit of a mental fog, doc gave me some tranquilizer-sort of medication to help me through this, yet another reason not to drink, didn't take last night cuz I had 2 beers, but took 1 this AM, am pretty mellow and not a nervous, shaking, bawling wreck I was yesterday, THANK GOD!!!!

Again, thanks for the support, hopefully I can be there for some of you some day, I definitely will:h :h

Love you guys!!!!

MA:l

[Saint Jude]

Tuesday, November 13th

Yep, I'm pretty sure I'll be working till I'm dead...
What's that saying?... "Expect the worst ... & hope for the best!'

Believe it or not, I really am an optimist!:H

Mary Ann, I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now. I wish there were someone you could talk to about the legal aspects without forking out so much right up front. I can only imagine the stress you're under. Do take care of yourself & your kids first though. Keep written records if you can, photos, recordings,phone mssgs, does your cell have a camera?
If it gets ugly documentation is really going to count BIG.
Hope I'm not over-stating things, but it's not sounding too good from here...
I'm worried about you girl.

Do take care. Call me ANYTIME!:h


Allie- Enjoy your shopping! I'll be waiting for my present! LOL

Hey! I've got the day off & the sun is shining! Think I'll head out to Otter Point for a walk by the cliffs & maybe hike down the south trail to the beach. I'm sure Bungee will be up for that.

Hope everybody has a great day.
Hugs,
Judie