How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

[trixietrack]

This is just an idea or it could also be somewhat of a survey, I think this might be helpful for some of the people who frequent MWO or are just lurking and looking for clues.

I am using myself as an example of someone who can moderate. haven't reached my goal but feel that I am making progress.

The first thing is if you realize early (prevention) that you might be developing a problem. I think this is the most important observation. I mean, once you've hit bottom and caused pain to yourself and others, it is much more difficult to moderate.

If you come from a family of non drinkers (not former heavy drinkers) or moderators.

If you don't suffer from serious psychological problems that may require medication. a lot of people who drink heavily are self medicating.

If you don't binge on a regular basis.

If you have always taken care of yourself physically.

If your family members friends,colleagues are not all or mostly heavy drinkers. this one is important too, because it's really hard to moderate around heavy drinkers or people who can only have a good time while drinking.

please feel free to correct me, or to ad your 2 cents as some of you say around here

Peace

[chrysa]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Very good & interesting thread trxie..
To this day I don't know if I really can moderate ..I just keep trying...
(Note: As I responded to your statements I thought..you may be on to something here! Would love to hearresponses form others)

1.Can't say that I have hit bottom or caused my family pain over this

2.I come from a birth family of heavy drinkers

3.I feel I have moderate psychological problems along with physical pain & do tend to self-medicate

4.I don't binge on a regular basis but the definition of binge varies from person to person I suppose

5.I have always taken pretty good care of myself

6.None of my current family, friends or co-workers are heavy drinkers.

[Cinders]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

1.I have definitely caused my family pain over my drinking. I am sure there is more bottom to go if I am really interested.

2.My family tree does contain a few non-alcoholics.

3.I am a complete whacko, basically. Ask my hubby, he will agree.

4.I don't not binge when I drink. Every drinking session was a binge.

5.I have always taken pretty good care of myself - except once I weighed 289 lbs, I smoke like a chimney and drank like a fish. Other than that...

6.My hubby doesn't drink. Everyone else I know does and quite heavily.

Sigh,
Cindi

[cowgal]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

still trying

I am still trying to figure that one out, sometimes I can successfully, sometimes can't ..............puzzling to me, but intend to try the 30 days!! I mean try too, I really want to feel good...............seems to be the only way I can ??!??!1

Hard cookie for me to crack!!

MA:h

[chrysa]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

what is the definition of a binge?

[Cinders]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Chrysa,

In my case, drinking to blackout.

Cindi

[trixietrack]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

chrysa;240065 wrote: what is the definition of a binge?

My definition is to drink real fast till you are drunk, slurring your words not able to walk straight or make sense.

[trixietrack]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

I also wanted to add that I notice that people who don't have self control with sweets and certain foods may also have a rough time moderating.
just an observation.

[Cinders]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Trixie,

That is one of the links between gastric bypass and alcoholism, methinks....

Cindi

Self-Control!! I have plenty!! Just not about eating, smoking or drinking. Yikes!!!

[hippie37]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Interesting thread trix!

I believe that if you have an addictive personality then you are more likely not to be able to control your drinking and especially down to trying in any way to moderate. I believe this as I put myself in this category. As far as binging goes I used to class myself as a binge drinker as I didn't drink every day. When I did drink I always wanted more and the only time I didn't drink was when I was either physically unable to due to a previous binge or I was trying my hardest to impress the ex (although I was still sneaky and got a few cans down me throat!!). Binge drinking is a very serious problem with the youth over here in the UK and for all the warnings and so called government intervention we still have one of the highest rates in Europe as a binge drinking nation. Not something I am at all proud of.

I dread to think what our drinking habits will be in 10/15 years time in this country when my daughter starts to experiment.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Finding My Self]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

My ten cents....happy to help with 'research' if it does!

1. I sank quickly, very quickly, caused pain and worry for a short time (6-12 months?)

2. No heavy/'problem' drinkers in my family. (That I know of!) Just social, moderate drinking.

3. Self-medicated rather than learn to like myself and expect to be treated well. No major psychological problems/medication. (No judgement of anyone else here BTW.)

4. Drip fed regularly. Didn't binge.

5. Work in the 'take-care-of-yourself-world' of therapy/education...so I hope so...fundmentally!

6. Not surrounded by drinkers at all...and the few times I was, I drank less!

I am lucky - very lucky. But it took MWO to discover that - I am still massively grateful to it and all of you.

Hugs FMS xx

[Cinders]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Hippie,

I guess what makes someone like me "special," is that I drank every night and I drank until I did not know what I was doing.

I have had many bruises, scars and broken objects in the house/hotel room that I have no idea what, how, why.

If you let this disease progress this far (I am a weeee bit older than you), you will get to the point where you are truly binge drinking every night AND blacking out EVERY NIGHT!!

I say this to everyone only because I want them to understand how bad it can get. AND it gets there before you know it. Wham!! I guess that is why they call it a Progressive Disease. Get rid of the word Disease and there is still Progressive.

Love,
Cindi

[hippie37]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

It did get to that stage nearly at one point Cindi during the last few months before I quit drinking in June. I would say though I was never completely sober for about 6 months towards the end as well as I always had alcohol inside me. I would even wake up still drunk sometimes yet I still craved a drink. (like I do know with fags when I get up in the morning!). I'd dread to think where I would be now If I hadn't gotten my act together though; I WOULD be blacking out every night, and with no support or friends around me, a very dangerous situation to be in as well.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Cinders]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

Hippie,

Yes. I was there. Every night and morning. Blackout.

How sad, heh?

However, here I am. Sober as a judge and still silly as hell. I love it.

Cindi

[chrysa]

How to tell if one can or cannot moderate

I do not believe there is such a thing as an addictive personality...

Very interesting observations here!...esp.. thank you Cindi for being so honest...tell me..how in the world did you manage to keep a professional high stress consulting practice going?

see FMS..I don't think you really have a life problem..you just went through a bad time in life...

also I thought a black-out was where you kept going but have no, nada, nothin' recollection of the whole thing...I don't have that, never have, but I sure can drink a lot of wine for a small woman.. is it because I am Irish..is there an ethnic factor trixie?