keke,
Just to answer your question... I think I had it all against me: genetic predisposition. My upbringing was extremely dysfunctional but not in an alcoholic setting. Ironically, from outside appearances, I'm very successful with exception of a health issue I can no longer hide. I think if anyone (predisposition or not) exposes themselves to a drug/drink long enough they are going to get hooked. Only a person with a specific gene tendency would do something that stupid. Just my theory.
So, I sent the family away... and I'm on my own. I was going completely AF but low and behold a very rare and lovely case of wine showed up as a surprise today from a very good friend. I've had one glass and will be very careful. I asked Dr. for anti-anxiety and will move towards AF as I think it's a better path for a while anyway.
Listened to first phase of tapes and thought they were worthwhile. I don't know if I'm "hypnotizable" exactly but some of the stuff seems like it's stayed with me any positive reinforcement right now is good. Also, anything that keeps you away from drinking is good. I do remember saying to mayself "this would be really nice with a glass of.... " and almost smacking myself. Oh well.
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