Hi! I normally post on Starting Out - even though I've been with MWO since May last year and I've "started out" a few times. I've managed 42 days AF and recently 50+ in Oct/November. Come December I found myself jumping off the wagon and what with the odd xmas ball, I was soon back into the routine of up to a bottle of wine each day.
Mine's a long story and I won't go into too much detail, but this week is the best I've felt for a long long time. I've hit rock bottom several times over recent months since losing my dad (aged 86) in June 07 resulting in me getting anti-depressants in November (during my AF period!). I didn't stay on them for long - maybe I didn't give them a chance - but I actually started to feel worse and pretty desperate about my life and started thinking about my last wishes!!! My mam is still alive and is an alcoholic. She's 80 this year. I miss her so much and feel that I lost her a long time ago. Again, I won't go into detail but basically all mam cares about is her next drink and has given up on everything and everyone in her life now. I've done my grieving for mam and she's still here.
Maybe its no coincedence that this week I came back to MWO. In November when I felt so low, I just couldn't post, couldn't do anything really, couldn't be bothered even though I was not drinking and had all these AF days under my belt. I thought "well if I feel like this and I'm not drinking, whats the point?"
But, this week I came back. I am so glad I did. Old friends and new have been there for me and have encouraged and supported me, I have been inspired yet again by the wonderful people on here and every individual story.
I feel so much better and managed a few days AF even whilst my husband was away on business. Normally this would have been the perfect opportunity for me to drink without anyone watching or counting the glasses. But no, I had a couple of days AF, and felt great. I also started up my swimming again every morning and this has really made a big difference - I have so much more energy. Life is starting to feel good again.
Over the weekend I have had a drink with my husband - no slips, no guilty feelings,
but tomorrow he is away again and I am really determined not to drink this week until he is home again on Friday night. I would love to be able to moderate, or drink "normally" like he does (wouldn't we all?) and I would really like any advice from anyone who is managing to do this successfully.
Sorry for babbling, hope this all makes sense.....
Janicexxx
Mine's a long story and I won't go into too much detail, but this week is the best I've felt for a long long time. I've hit rock bottom several times over recent months since losing my dad (aged 86) in June 07 resulting in me getting anti-depressants in November (during my AF period!). I didn't stay on them for long - maybe I didn't give them a chance - but I actually started to feel worse and pretty desperate about my life and started thinking about my last wishes!!! My mam is still alive and is an alcoholic. She's 80 this year. I miss her so much and feel that I lost her a long time ago. Again, I won't go into detail but basically all mam cares about is her next drink and has given up on everything and everyone in her life now. I've done my grieving for mam and she's still here.
Maybe its no coincedence that this week I came back to MWO. In November when I felt so low, I just couldn't post, couldn't do anything really, couldn't be bothered even though I was not drinking and had all these AF days under my belt. I thought "well if I feel like this and I'm not drinking, whats the point?"
But, this week I came back. I am so glad I did. Old friends and new have been there for me and have encouraged and supported me, I have been inspired yet again by the wonderful people on here and every individual story.
I feel so much better and managed a few days AF even whilst my husband was away on business. Normally this would have been the perfect opportunity for me to drink without anyone watching or counting the glasses. But no, I had a couple of days AF, and felt great. I also started up my swimming again every morning and this has really made a big difference - I have so much more energy. Life is starting to feel good again.
Over the weekend I have had a drink with my husband - no slips, no guilty feelings,
but tomorrow he is away again and I am really determined not to drink this week until he is home again on Friday night. I would love to be able to moderate, or drink "normally" like he does (wouldn't we all?) and I would really like any advice from anyone who is managing to do this successfully.
Sorry for babbling, hope this all makes sense.....
Janicexxx
c: :heart:
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