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    #1

    Is counting really helping?

    Hi,

    As some of you may know I have an obsession with counting. I religiously keep a record of how many drinks I have and how many AF nights and how many mods nights.

    Before coming to MWO there was nothing to count. Every night was a drinking to excess night ( binge/blackout). I had no idea how many drinks I had. 7 years passed.

    In July 2006 I found MWO. That year I had 59 AF days, 26 mods days and 280 binge days.

    Last year I had 99 AF days and 53 mods days. 30 days of bingeing and 183 days of drinking more than 3 but less than 7 drinks.

    This shows improvement but it's not even 50% mods success rate!

    So far this year I have 1 binge (last night). 5 mods and 30 AF.

    I seem to do well for a while and then slowly slip until I binge again ( usually at the weekend!)

    I have had lots of good advice from people on here but then I make a conscious decision to break all my own rules-like last night. Then the next day I regret it and it starts all over again.

    I have had a lot of triggers over the past few weeks and was aware of that. Yet still made the decision to buy a box instead of a bottle. It's as if I feel I have to give myself a release.

    What next? I need to count my blessings instead of my worries I think.

    Forgive this ramble. Just trying to reason with myself.

    love to all as always
    Enough is enough
    Tags: None
    #2
    Is counting really helping?

    For some of us, counting can be very important; it makes us conscious of what we are doing. You stated that you don't have a 50% success rate, but look at what you have accomplished!!! You had 30 binge days last year. Before this, it sounds like it was more like 365 days!!!!!! That is a huge success rate to me!!! I say keep counting if that is what it takes for you to reach your goals.
    Goal 1: Today
    Goal 2: Tomorrow

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      #3
      Is counting really helping?

      Wow, I see a huge imporvement! What is yoru ultimate goal, to mod or be AF? I think that if you are trying to be AF you may have a tendancy to beat yourself up when you have a slip. Binges, as we ALL know are not good, so you have only had 1 this year with 30 days AF, that is good. I say keep counting, and be really clear with your intentions. That way you know when it is time to be hard on yourself, and when it is time for a pat on the back - we forget to do that sometimes and it is more important than the beatings...

      xoxo

      MM
      Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

      Comment

        #4
        Is counting really helping?

        Hey Waves, sorry you are feeling down today. I went overboard last night too. I don't count as religiously as you do but maybe I should, because it looks as though you are doing pretty well. I have also improved over the last year but am not where I want to be with mods.

        Hang in there and keep counting. I am going to keep trying to have some AF nights each week. I have been doing that most weeks of late.

        Drink lots of water and feel better!

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          #5
          Is counting really helping?

          Hey Waves, you have shown great improvement. I have never been a big counter because I get depressed when I see more non AF days than not.

          Rant all you want. I always appreciate everything you have to say. HUGS
          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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            #6
            Is counting really helping?

            Thanks for the replies.

            Meditation Mama, My ultimate goal is moderation on a full-time basis. I had thought that this would be the year to achieve that as I was feeling so strong. My new ultimate aim is now to be mods with no more binges.

            Lukalee, you are right. it is so much better than before. And just for you I have manipulated the figures as the government here do to reflect the view I want to show having read these replies:

            Last year I had 335 days without bingeing.

            Ducky, sorry you felt down too yesterday. We should have shared another meal for consolation!

            Beaches, what a lovely reply. Thanks. I know you've had a hard time this week with everyone being ill, especially with the children's temperatures being worryingly high. Well done for keeping everything ship-shape. Hope you enjoy a rest soon and that everyone is well again for your trip away.:l

            Thanks also to the person who sent me a lovely pic.
            Much nicer than the usual Kick!

            Love to all as always
            Waves
            Enough is enough

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