Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

[TiredofHiding]

Hi -

I've been around here for a few months. Today is 67 days AF. I think my goal is to be able to moderate but I am now afraid to try - should I just stop forever? part of me says its safest. The other part would really like to enjoy a glass of cab with a steak, have a glass of champage on our anniversary in a few weeks, etc.

How did you know moderating was the right way for you? Do you limit to special occassions? certain days or number of days a week?

I am also working on weight loss and not having al has helped me drop 34 pounds since December, so I don't want to have much for that reason too.

I'm just curious how you decided to be where you are? How much you consider safe?

I never want to be where I was a few months ago.

I appreciate your advice.

[Thankful]

Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

Hi, TiredofHiding ~ :goodjob:

Sorry I can't tell you how to try to mod. Mod was my goal when I joined too, but 81 days later and I feel too good to risk it. Did a lot of research on alcohol that just keeps it at bay for me.

But I did just want to tell you, congratulations on 67 days and 34 lbs!!! WTG!!!

Good luck on your final desicion. I hope it works out for you.

Love, Me
:l

[tlrgs]

Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

hi there..tiredofhiding..it sound like you like the new you . so just keep on doing what you feel is good for you . you say you re losing weight. becaue you are not drink so that is working for you in a good way . and you feel so much better because you are not drinking . so i would vote no on drinking . but that just my opion. and it sound like you have already decided what is good for you. so do what best you and and your family. good luck and PS that is awesome 67 af days. keep it up

[Ask For Help]

Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

I'm doing mods

Hi:

:welcome:

and Congratulations on your AF stint. What a GREAT JOB!!!!

You ask some good questions about 'how you know'? and I'm not sure there is any one answer. For me, I started out in January 2008 thinking I'd do 30 days AF, but I was seeing a counselor and looking at all my goals and issues; my real goal was to be able to control my drinking, another was to lose weight and a third was to get out socially because I was lonely and staying home too much and drinking at home. So going completely AF just didn't fit for all of my goals. I've struggled with weight issues all my life and the minute you tell me I can't have something, that's all I think about, so I didn't want/need alcohol to be in that place.
Being mods still raises many of the same issues as AF: ie dealing with the triggers that make you drink and finding other strategies, searching out the feelings that we drink to avoid dealing with etc. etc. One nugget I've learned is to try to keep the feelings "OVER HERE" and the alcohol "OVER THERE" and don't mix them.

I do think having some sort of plan is good. Not something that you're going to debate with yourself endlessly, because if that is the case, then I agree it's not worth drinking. I've found the Topomax and supps cut the urges so much that for me now (after 2 months) the decision whether or not to drink is not a huge deal, and stopping at two drinks is rarely a challenge. If you found that to be different, I would proceed slowly.

I know there are people with LOTS more experience, but they seem not to be posting much. One thing that might help is looking at the drink tracker and noticing those who post with the mods colors, to get an idea what frequency/ amount modsters chart. There is a lot of variation. There are also some good threads worth reading in this section (What is mods).

And I know there are some new modsters that started AF Jan/Feb that are newly trying mods, so hopefully we can get some conversations going here.

Feel free to keep posting here, and hopefully we can keep talking and maybe others will join in!

Best to you!

G

[skootiemom]

Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

Tired,

Mods is waaayyyy harder than AF!!! For me, at least, anyways. One / two is neveh enough. I hate it- and after this week ( Spring Break) I will go AF for at least a year. It's really, really hard. I am being brutally honest. It's not worth it.

34 pounds is so great. Many more a days straight, enerergized.... priceless. You are not missing a THING. Meat is good sober. Anniversaries are lovely without champagne.

See you all on the ABS board come March 27...

Skoots

[TiredofHiding]

Ready to Try Mods . . . I think

Thank you all - still unsure

Thank you all for your honesty and advice. If you had asked me 68 days ago, I would have said I can't imagine my life without alchohol. It's not possible. Having survived, and thrived through 68 days, I see that there is life without it. I just need to choose which life is for me.

I have noticed alcohol and references to alcohol so much more since being sober. It is amazing how much of it there is in all aspects of our lives (at a leadership conference recently folks joked about being "lubricated" for ideas to flow - not a great leadership quality I think).

I guess I still don't know which way to go. For now, I still don't see a reason to drink, but I don't want to close the door to that one day - at a friend's house to have a glass, to have a mimosa at a shower . .. I don't know.

I was making our reservation at a B&B for our anniversary and the "romance package" includes a bottle of champage in the room on arrival and gourmet dinner in the restaurant. I asked the clerk not to put the champagne in the room. Small steps, but if the bottle is there, I'm sure I'll drink it and I'd rather both my husband and I be sober that night. . . one glass at dinner will be fine, if that.

I'm babbling now, but this is such a tough one. I have a friend who had drug and alcohol problems. . . lost her husband and son through it all. She's been clean and sober for 14 years now and has been one of the few people I can talk to through all of these last few years because she's been there. I keep thinking "If she can go 14 years without a glass of cab, can't I?"

I plan on sticking around here and also on the ABS board to hear both sides and decide where the road is taking me. I go see my doc next month and hope she is stunned by the weight loss since last October and that my bp is good enough to take me off meds.

Thanks again for all of your honesty - I look forward to hanging out more.